Double dates can seem like a pleasant idea on paper.
And sometimes, they really are a nice time, allowing couples to mix up the usual romantic night out and see some beloved friends in the process.
But they can also be totally awkward if not everybody jives together super well.
Add alcohol into the mix—along with different people's varying habits around it—and the success of a double date becomes even more up in the air.
One Redditor, known as MrPatel1986 on the site, experienced that firsthand one recent evening. He shared all the fine details in a post to the "Am I the A**hole (AITA)" subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), covered where the weirdness took place right in the title of the post.
"AITA for giving my friend's date fake drinks?"
OP kicked off the story by mentioning everyone involved.
"My friend ([29-year-old female], Alias: Abby) recently started dating this new guy ([male], Alias: Mark)."
"Last weekend, she invited my wife [31-year-old female] and me [34-year-old male] to meet Mark over dinner and drinks."
"For the record, the intention was to get tipsy."
For awhile, all went according to plan.
"The night started out well. Mark seemed pretty cool, and Abby seemed to like him. We ordered dinner in, then started drinking."
"We had a few different kinds of liquor and a bunch of mixers like seltzer, cranberry juice, etc."
"Somehow, I ended up being the 'bartender' for everyone, and was the one mixing drinks for everyone."
"I was pouring pretty generous drinks throughout the night. We all got pretty tipsy."
But OP noticed when a new dynamic began to develop.
"After a while, I noticed Mark was really starting to put them away. I'm pretty sure he had more drinks than I did, and continued to ask me to fill up his cup again and again."
"This kept up, and then Mark started creeping into the zone of for-real-drunk and not just tipsy. Like a little beyond double date night in level tipsy, moving into drinking on a Saturday with your guy friends while you're still in college drunk."
"My wife said noticed it, and I'm pretty sure Abby noticed as well."
To avoid disaster, OP came up with a subtle plan.
"It went on, he kept asking for more and more drinks."
"So what I started doing was just filling his cup with mixers with no alcohol and just giving it to him that way.
"He didn't seem to be the wiser, and just continued drinking. This kept him from getting any worse until my wife and I headed home. (We live in walking distance from our friend)."
But the close of the night would not be the end of the ordeal for OP.
"Abby called me upset about two days later.
"Apparently, Mark had some alcohol related behavioral issues after my wife and I went home, and Abby was upset at me. She asked my why I gave him so much alcohol that night."
"I told Abby that I only gave him alcohol up to a point, and then after that I started giving him plain mixers."
"Abby was surprised, but still mad at me."
"She said I should have just cut him off, because he started pouring drinks for himself after we'd left. She argued that if I just cut him off, he wouldn't have had the mentality to keep drinking."
"So Reddit, AITA for trying to pull a fast one on Mark?"
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
Most Redditors were totally on OP's side.
In fact, they were impressed with his quick thinking in the moment.
"NTA. Your solution was a graceful, tactful and undramatic one, one I've used more than once."
"How is your friend pi**ed off at you because her date doesn't know when to stop? Since this is someone new in her life, I hope she really gives this some thought."
"I, obviously, don't know either of these people but getting hammered when meeting someone's friends for the first time is NOT a good sign and I am sure she has better things to do than spend her time on an allegedly adult man who still drinks like it's the last night of spring break." -- rapt2right
"NTA I think you made a really good decision to start giving him plain drinks, he made a decision to keep drinking after you left."
"He is a grown up man and you are a stranger to him, you can't control what he does." -- Avijel
Some outlined how his decision not to cut him off probably avoided a worse situation.
"NTA you did the best you could in that situation. Cutting him off completely could have caused a huge scene. It's not your fault he kept drinking after you left. You were trying to avoid a bad situation."
"Abby should be mad at Mark. He is the one with no self control and can't hold his liquor. You did nothing wrong." -- Ashley551989
"NTA, that's not how alcoholism works. Telling him he's cut off, and he has behavioral issues when drinking, he could have gotten nasty earlier in the night." -- xlxcx
"NTA cutting him off could had him react worse"
"Continuing to give him alcohol would be just as bad."
"With giving him drinks but no alcohol in them, you made him happy by drinking, but made sure his didn't get more drunk. You did the best case scenario." -- benx101
Others set their sights on Abby. They felt she was pushing blame in the completely wrong direction.
"NTA. Why didn't Abby cut him off? The fu**. Why is she blaming you? This is absurd." -- benjibhole
"NTA Her problem is with Mark and his bullsh**." -- Ilovegifsofjif
"So it's your fault for giving him alcohol and also your fault for not giving him alcohol? Hmm."
"I agree with others, I'd be more concerned about Abby. To already be making excuses and shifting blame for his behaviour is worrying. I don't know what your relationship with her is like but I think she is likely to need some support."
"NTA, obviously." -- JadedCryptographer97
"NTA She asks why you didn't cut him off? You did. You stopped serving him alcohol.... That means he was cut off. He just was to drunk to realize it."
"She's projecting onto you that she couldn't stop him from controlling himself." -- Cinemaslap1
Feel free to place bets on how long Abby's new relationship will last.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.