Double dates can seem like a pleasant idea on paper.
And sometimes, they really are a nice time, allowing couples to mix up the usual romantic night out and see some beloved friends in the process.
But they can also be totally awkward if not everybody jives together super well.
Add alcohol into the mix—along with different people’s varying habits around it—and the success of a double date becomes even more up in the air.
One Redditor, known as MrPatel1986 on the site, experienced that firsthand one recent evening. He shared all the fine details in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), covered where the weirdness took place right in the title of the post.
“AITA for giving my friend’s date fake drinks?”
OP kicked off the story by mentioning everyone involved.
“My friend ([29-year-old female], Alias: Abby) recently started dating this new guy ([male], Alias: Mark).”
“Last weekend, she invited my wife [31-year-old female] and me [34-year-old male] to meet Mark over dinner and drinks.”
“For the record, the intention was to get tipsy.”
For awhile, all went according to plan.
“The night started out well. Mark seemed pretty cool, and Abby seemed to like him. We ordered dinner in, then started drinking.”
“We had a few different kinds of liquor and a bunch of mixers like seltzer, cranberry juice, etc.”
“Somehow, I ended up being the ‘bartender’ for everyone, and was the one mixing drinks for everyone.”
“I was pouring pretty generous drinks throughout the night. We all got pretty tipsy.”
But OP noticed when a new dynamic began to develop.
“After a while, I noticed Mark was really starting to put them away. I’m pretty sure he had more drinks than I did, and continued to ask me to fill up his cup again and again.”
“This kept up, and then Mark started creeping into the zone of for-real-drunk and not just tipsy. Like a little beyond double date night in level tipsy, moving into drinking on a Saturday with your guy friends while you’re still in college drunk.”
“My wife said noticed it, and I’m pretty sure Abby noticed as well.”
To avoid disaster, OP came up with a subtle plan.
“It went on, he kept asking for more and more drinks.”
“So what I started doing was just filling his cup with mixers with no alcohol and just giving it to him that way.
“He didn’t seem to be the wiser, and just continued drinking. This kept him from getting any worse until my wife and I headed home. (We live in walking distance from our friend).”
But the close of the night would not be the end of the ordeal for OP.
“Abby called me upset about two days later.
“Apparently, Mark had some alcohol related behavioral issues after my wife and I went home, and Abby was upset at me. She asked my why I gave him so much alcohol that night.”
“I told Abby that I only gave him alcohol up to a point, and then after that I started giving him plain mixers.”
“Abby was surprised, but still mad at me.”
“She said I should have just cut him off, because he started pouring drinks for himself after we’d left. She argued that if I just cut him off, he wouldn’t have had the mentality to keep drinking.”
“So Reddit, AITA for trying to pull a fast one on Mark?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors were totally on OP’s side.
In fact, they were impressed with his quick thinking in the moment.
“NTA. Your solution was a graceful, tactful and undramatic one, one I’ve used more than once.”
“How is your friend pi**ed off at you because her date doesn’t know when to stop? Since this is someone new in her life, I hope she really gives this some thought.”
“I, obviously, don’t know either of these people but getting hammered when meeting someone’s friends for the first time is NOT a good sign and I am sure she has better things to do than spend her time on an allegedly adult man who still drinks like it’s the last night of spring break.” — rapt2right
“NTA I think you made a really good decision to start giving him plain drinks, he made a decision to keep drinking after you left.”
“He is a grown up man and you are a stranger to him, you can’t control what he does.” — Avijel
Some outlined how his decision not to cut him off probably avoided a worse situation.
“NTA you did the best you could in that situation. Cutting him off completely could have caused a huge scene. It’s not your fault he kept drinking after you left. You were trying to avoid a bad situation.”
“Abby should be mad at Mark. He is the one with no self control and can’t hold his liquor. You did nothing wrong.” — Ashley551989
“NTA, that’s not how alcoholism works. Telling him he’s cut off, and he has behavioral issues when drinking, he could have gotten nasty earlier in the night.” — xlxcx
“NTA cutting him off could had him react worse”
“Continuing to give him alcohol would be just as bad.”
“With giving him drinks but no alcohol in them, you made him happy by drinking, but made sure his didn’t get more drunk. You did the best case scenario.” — benx101
Others set their sights on Abby. They felt she was pushing blame in the completely wrong direction.
“NTA. Why didn’t Abby cut him off? The fu**. Why is she blaming you? This is absurd.” — benjibhole
“NTA Her problem is with Mark and his bullsh**.” — Ilovegifsofjif
“So it’s your fault for giving him alcohol and also your fault for not giving him alcohol? Hmm.”
“I agree with others, I’d be more concerned about Abby. To already be making excuses and shifting blame for his behaviour is worrying. I don’t know what your relationship with her is like but I think she is likely to need some support.”
“NTA, obviously.” — JadedCryptographer97
“NTA She asks why you didn’t cut him off? You did. You stopped serving him alcohol…. That means he was cut off. He just was to drunk to realize it.”
“She’s projecting onto you that she couldn’t stop him from controlling himself.” — Cinemaslap1
Feel free to place bets on how long Abby’s new relationship will last.