Nobody disputes that single mothers are faced with an extremely difficult task every single day.
But as a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” showed, different people have different views about how to honor that.
The Original Poster (OP), known as throwFar425, asked a question that, at first, may seem puzzling.
“AITA for not getting my single mom sister a Father’s day present?”
OP began by discussing an uncommon tradition.
“My family all went to my parent’s home for Father’s day.
“Now starting last year, my mom started this tradition of buying my sister a Father’s Day gift because she has to be both the father and mother in her children’s lives.”
“Now, as a brother I have done my part to help my sister out. However, this seemed really dumb in my opinion.”
OP shared his rationale.
“Now, I would be more sympathetic to my sister, but she has a habit of going for guys that constantly are in trouble with the law.”
“Guys with long rap sheets, she has bragged to her friends that she won’t date a 9-5 type of guy. And the first guy she had kids with I even cut her slack..”
“But then she got pregnant by a second guy that moved to Florida after knocking her up.”
So some friction was inevitable.
“So this day, when everyone in my family got my sister a Father’s day present, I didn’t. I got my dad something but to me I was not going to do it.”
“My sister called me out in front of everyone, and told her that she isn’t a father so she doesn’t get a Father’s day present.”
“She then is like you know how I hard work for my kids I have to do both roles.”
“I told her flat out pick better men.”
“My parents and other brother got mad at me but I don’t care. My mom was like just get her a card if you can’t buy a gift.”
“But to me, its the principle.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
An overwhelming majority of Redditors took OP’s side.
They couldn’t believe it even got that far.
“NTA, Who the hell is buying every father they know a gift for Father’s Day? I bought something for my dad and that was it. How is this becoming a thing?” — Herdnerfer
“NTA. Is being a single mother tough? Sure is. I grew up in a single mother home. We never celebrated father’s day for her. She never expected us to either. This stupid idea is just attention seeking.” — McWhacker
“NTA. Fathers Day. Ladies, you have Mothers Day and I promise you you’ll get showered 10x more than Men on Fathers Day stop trying to take the Dads day.” — Southern_Buckeye
“NTA It’s Father’s Day, there’s already a Mother’s Day. There shouldn’t be an obligation to get her a gift or card. I understand your family wanting to show her support, but you are under no obligation to do so.” — irish52084
Many made the key variable extremely clear.
“NTA Your sister is not your father, so why would she expect a gift from you? That’s ridiculous.” — No-Jellyfish-1208
“NTA Your sister is a mother, not a father…Your sister is not YOUR parent?” — Lovely-summertime
“NTA Is she YOUR parent? No, then you don’t need to do anything – it would be nice if you (or someone else) took your niece/nephew to get a present for her – but that is off of HER children (you are just the one who is assisting them until they are old enough to do it alone)” — iolaus79
“NTA. Just because she’s a single parent doesn’t make her a father, and she shouldn’t be expecting one from you – she isn’t your father.” — WiseBat
A handful of people offered relevant personal experiences.
“NTA. I have been a single mom, my sister has been a single mom her son’s entire life and we didn’t and we don’t get presents on Father’s Day. If you mom and others want to buy her a Father’s Day present, fine. They can do it.”
“She’s not your father and you are not required to buy her anything.” — Malachite_Macchiato
“NTA. My brother does the same thing, he’s not looking for anyone stable to help him raise his two kids (he’s divorced) but keeps going after the ‘fun one’s with a future plans.’ ”
“I get where your parents’ are coming from, but this has been the subject of debate for a while. Stand your ground, part of your sister’s issues are brought on by herself. NTA” — MineEfficient4043
“NTA, I was raised by a single mother, she never got a Father’s Day present, what we did though was go all out and make Mother’s Day amazing, because she is one hell of a Mum…”
“…she’s not, however, a father though she took on that role (especially for my brother). If your mother wants to continue this tradition she started, that’s on her, but stop forcing it on everyone else.” — aftermidnightowl890
“So every year, I get my father a father’s day present and my mother a mother’s day present, and I get nothing for my sister who is a mother and a single parent. Why would I get my sister a mother’s day present?”
“She isn’t my mom nor a parent to my (fictional) child? If I’m not getting my sister, who is a mother, a mother’s day present, why would I get her a father’s day present?”
“It’s less about her having bad taste in men, more about why are you supposed to celebrate her for something that has nothing to do with you? NTA.” — mfruitfly
“NTA As a single dad, this crap ticks me off. Your sis is NOT a father. Just because you’re raising a child as a single parent, doesn’t mean ‘you’re both mom and dad’…. You’re not…. You’re either mom OR dad.”
“And let me also add that this nonsense is always a no one street. I’ve literally never seen a guy get a mother’s day gift nor have I ever heard or seen a guy claim that he’s ‘both mom and dad.’ “
“I am 100% with you on this. It’s nonsense.” — SigSauerPower320
Looks like OP’s sister had better get used to not receiving a gift from him on Father’s Day.