Planning a wedding can take a lot of time.
So much of life gets put into limbo and on hold.
People’s lives are going to change on the lead up to the “I Do’s.”
And some changes can stir drama.
Case in point…
Redditor peoplepleasingthefam wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for being 30 weeks pregnant at my sisters wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“For some background, my husband and I have a four year old daughter.”
“We decided at the end of 2021 we wanted to try for another baby beginning Jan 2022.”
“From January – March we had no positive tests and figured the second one may be more challenging.”
“Then in April my sister got engaged to her now fiancée.”
“My husband and I decided we would stop trying until we knew the wedding date so we did not bring a newborn to a wedding or have a due date really close to it.”
“They found a venue they loved and booked it for May 2023.”
“We waited until we were in the clear of this date range to begin trying again so that we wouldn’t have a newborn or have me ready to burst in the same time frame.”
“Once we were in the time frame of June 2023 we decided to continue trying but assumed it would take awhile as we hadn’t gotten pregnant from January-March of this year.”
“Turns out it was only one more try necessary and I am now expecting and will be 30 weeks for their wedding.”
“We have just now started telling our family that we are expecting and opted to tell my sister and her fiancée first to let them know I will be 30 weeks and that we will be there as long as I am not on bed rest or anything else happens.”
“The venue is 45 mins from our house and 25 mins from the hospital.”
“So far it is a healthy pregnancy, and I had no complications with my first.”
“I expected her to be happy for me but she is incredibly angry with me and feels that my baby will take away from her wedding day.”
“I feel as though I really tip toed around her wedding and even put a pause on my own plans for her and her day.”
“I genuinely thought this would take more time than it did as we had issues the beginning of the year.”
“I even asked if she wanted to replace me in the wedding if she’s more comfortable with that but she has yet to respond to me.”
“Now that we’re telling family my mom thinks I’m awful for making her wedding about me.”
“My other sister said I should’ve told the family our plans first to determine what was best.”
“I feel like maybe I’m not in the right frame of mind to determine if I am the one in the wrong here.”
“AITA for being pregnant at her wedding?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“WTF is wrong with people?”
“Were you supposed to put your entire life on hold for a year+ just so you don’t have a baby bump at your sis’ wedding?”
“NTA and I would just not go, because guaranteed your sis is going to either make a scene or complain afterwards that you ‘stole her day’ because she sounds super self centered.” ~ angelaheidt
“I literally just muttered ‘WTF is wrong with people?’ 100% agree with you.”
“Must be nice to let your family control your sex life and when you can and can’t have children.”
“Damn these people are stupid.” ~ an0nym0uswr1ter
“We brought our 8 week old son to my brother’s wedding.”
“Years later I was 7/12 months pregnant (and carrying very big!) at my B[rother] I[n] L[aw]’s wedding.”
“Guess what, everyone survived, the brides were beautiful and the center of attention and the pictures came out nice.”
“Wedding culture and entitlement in general is way out of control (sigh).” ~ Wearealreadyhere
“Literally my ex S[ister] I[n] L[aw] brought her month old, and a sister I’m not even close with came at 7 months pregnant.”
“You best believe the baby and bump were included in wedding photos.”
“Hell, my ex and I had a picture with my sister where we knelt down and held the bump because we were proud of all the additions to our families?”
“I don’t get why people freak out over pregnancies at weddings.” ~ kirschekola
“There’s literally no way of having a wedding be overshadowed by a pregnant relative.”
“If it’s a normal wedding then everyone will be too busy enjoying themselves to care.”
“If it’s boring or things are going wrong, then everyone will be too busy gossiping about how terrible the wedding is to notice that the bride’s sister is pregnant.” ~ hdhxuxufxufufiffif
“My sister gave birth one week before my brother’s wedding this year.”
“He and his fiancée actually got her two bridesmaids dresses.”
“One for a 9 months pregnant woman and one for a recently deflated previously pregnant woman.”
“As well as making it clear that they hoped she could make it, but would totally understand if she couldn’t travel.”
“She and my new niece felt welcome, made it to the wedding, and (shock!) the bride was still the star.”
“Everyone said hello to the baby, took turns holding her… but the bride was the star.”
“Great wedding time had by all.”
“As you say, wtf is wrong with people?” ~ Local_Initiative8523
“There definitely is gonna be drama around this, and OP, please to look out for the microaggressions from the family about this and don’t be afraid to put them in Low Contact or timeout if they cross any boundaries.”
“You’ve already put half a year of your life on hold and they’re treating you like crap, so don’t sweat it if they can’t stomach you living your life. NTA.” ~ Material-Paint6281
“I have no idea what’s wrong with the OP’s family.”
“A wedding is a party and celebration.”
“The entire course of humanity does not stop at someone’s wedding.”
“Nor should it nor should they even consider that request.”
“NTA. And these people need some perspective.” ~ kouturecrochet
“Sister will make it about her no matter what.”
“Sister is a drama queen and family are enablers or drama queens in their own right.”
“If she shows up she will be accused of stealing the spotlight.”
“If she does not go people will ask about her not going, and when they explain why she didn’t come bride will look bad.”
“Then will blame OP for making her look bad by NOT going.”
“There is no winning with such a dramatic family other than by going Low Contact/No Contact.”
“NTA – and any family members telling you you should have involved them in your family planning are ludicrous and frankly I want to hear more stories because you must have A LOT OF THEM.” ~ InfinMD2
“Have brides always been this awful or are they getting worse?”
“I can’t figure it out.”
“How does a whole family think it’s acceptable that you put your plans on hold for a wedding?”
“NTA. If you went into labour on my wedding I wouldn’t care.”
“What is wrong with your family?” ~ VeeLmax
“NTA what the actual f**k?”
“You can be pregnant at a wedding.”
“You can be pregnant IN a wedding.”
“F**k your family man I am so sorry – this sounds absolutely awful.” ~ killakween_
“It sounds less like they think OP being pregnant will interfere in her being able to do things.”
“And more like they think that her visible pregnancy will draw everyone else’s attention and cause everyone to fawn all over her and ignore the bride.”
“This seems ludicrous to me, but I don’t know, maybe nobody in that family knows how to act around a pregnant woman?”
“OP is NTA.”
“THEY are the ones making this all about her and her pregnancy. Not her.” ~ eregyrn
“Hahahahaha… your family is crazy. NTA!!”
“They want to know when you want to get pregnant like wtf I wouldn’t even wait and would not care if I was pregnant or not at a wedding who cares.”
“It’s your life and they have no say whats so ever.”
“30 weeks and you will steal the spotlight what a joke.”
“It’s a very plain wedding if that happend.”
“I had my husband’s niece getting engaged at my wedding.”
“It took 15 minutes of me not getting attention before all the attention went back to me.”
“My wedding is the wedding everybody still talks about (not even a out the engagement but my dress, the food, location, evening of fun, etc).” ~ Jacqtjakaa
“NTA. You have been incredibly nice just by attempting to plan your child’s birth around your sister’s wedding.”
“You definitely didn’t have to do that.”
“The fact that your sister expected you to put your life on hold (especially after you’ve been struggling to have another child) is very selfish.”
“Shame on your other family members for supporting your sister’s foolishness as well.” ~ pinktuliplover
“NTA. What is it with brides thinking that nobody else can exist or have a life on their ‘big day?'”
“People are going to have milestones.”
“Your sister is being selfish.” ~ XANDERtheSHEEPDOG
Well OP, Reddit is clearly with you.
You can’t plan your life around the wedding of another person.
Hopefully the family will calm down.
And you can all enjoy celebrating all the good in life present.
Good luck.