Bride Livid After Sister Says She Isn't 'Pure Enough' To Wear White Wedding Dress At Reception

In 1840, Queen Victoria chose a white satin and lace gown for her wedding to Prince Albert. Her choice influenced wedding trends around the world.

During the Victorian era—the reign of Queen Victoria from June, 1837 until her death in January, 1901—white wedding dresses became symbols of innocence and virginity. But the trend didn't really catch on across socioeconomic groups until after WWII.

Hollywood films also popularized the white wedding dress which has spread to areas of the globe where other colors were traditionally worn.

A newlywed turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Infinite_Tank620 asked:

"AITA for telling my sister I get it, she's jealous and still a virgin, after she told me I'd look better in a red wedding dress?"

The original poster (OP) explained:

"I (29, female) just got married. My sister 'Tara' (27, female) and I have never had the best relationship."

"She's always been pretty insecure, and growing up, there was a lot of tension between us. I've always tried to be sensitive to it, but it's been hard because she has a tendency to lash out in passive-aggressive ways."

"It got much worse when I got into a college that she didn't get into."

"At my wedding, I was mingling with the guests and Tara came up to me and told me that I would have looked better in red."

"It's an insult, basically saying the bride should be in red is calling them a wh*re. That they are not pure enough to wear white."

"Maybe it's regional, but after white wedding dresses became popular they got the association with being pure."

"Then religion popped in and virgins were claimed to be the only people who could wear white to their wedding. So if you weren't a virgin, then you were not supposed to wear white."

"If you look at people getting remarried in the past, they usally didn't wear white. The color red popped up at some point and the insult was made to mean the bride was wicked, impure, a wh*re, or some variation of those insults."

"Also, I am not part of any cultures were red is the wedding color for brides."

"I told her, 'I get it, Tara. You're jealous, and still a virgin, but this isn't the time to make your insecurities my problem'. I didn't shout, but my tone was harsh."

"Tara stormed off, and I could tell some people overheard. My brother later told me I was out of line and should apologize, that I humiliated her in front of everyone."

"He's always been on her side, really doesn't matter why. Whole childhood those two stuck together no matter what. I think he feels bad for her, but I am unsure."

"Tara wants an apology and says I was being a d*ck. My dad and mom told me she will have to get over it because this has been an ongoing issue."

The OP summed up their situation.

"I may be a jerk because I was harsh with my comeback after she told me I would look better in red."

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA - You're The A**hole
• NAH - No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

"So she can essentially call you a wh*re in front of those same guests, but you can't respond appropriately and firmly to defend yourself at your own wedding‽‽ NTA."

"I'm certainly glad your parents have your back on this, but I can't figure out for the life of me what your siblings' deal is. They seem to have an enmeshed relationship with each other."

"In any case, I hope your wedding day was beautiful outside of that. Good luck in your life together!" ~ Jovon35

"That baffled me too. Sister humiliated herself when she decided to be nasty to OP on her wedding day—end of discussion."

"Brother's absolute loyalty to one sister over the other is just odd. At least the parents understand how inappropriate it is to call OP a wh*re at her wedding."

"How is this even a debate? NTA." ~ Round_Butterfly2091

"NTA. Don't commit a crime if you can't do the time. Don't dish out what you can't take back in return. These are common sayings for a reason."

"What's the alternative? Take it and say, 'Please ma'am, may I have another?' What did they seriously expect you to do?" ~ naisfurious

"Obviously, the bride was supposed to run off in shame and never again show her dishonest, harlot face in polite society."

"Then the crowd would cheer for the sister and proclaim her the most pure and hold a gala in her honor where the townsfolk would bring our their most eligible bachelors for her to choose a suitor from. 🤨🙄😒 NTA." ~ nervelli

"Yeah, both of the siblings can get bent. She needs to learn to not throw stones if she doesn't want any hurled back."

"Who the F says that to a bride on their wedding day? Excuse me‽‽ IDGAF if that was my sister or not."

"That'd be a quick 'there's the exit' from me. She obviously said it in front of others too, so...NTA, OP. Sorry your siblings suck, but congrats to you!" ~ TepHoBubba

"She essentially called you a wh*re on your wedding day, and your brother is just letting it slide. That isn't just 'he feels bad for her'."

"My own brother screwed me over multiple times, treated me like a maid, etc... My father had to leave his job because my brother would play xBox while I was right in front of him scrubbing his muddy bootprints off the carpet...while visibly trembling from chemo.

"I am okay with him now, but it took a while...and we will never get to where we once were. He is more of a distant cousin than a sibling to me."

"While my father was upset at everything he did and acknowledged it was wrong, it irks him to no end that I won't be more chummy with him."

"Several months back, he tried to lecture me on the importance of 'family sticking together'...so I asked Dad what he would have done if anybody, and I mean ANYBODY treated me half as bad as my brother did."

"If my boyfriend—now fiancé—of 7 years, who my father loves like a son, treated me half as badly. My father straight-up stated they would no longer be around to do it again."

"So I asked him why he is expecting me to cozy up to someone who treated me that way just because they are 'family'...after all, doesn't it make it even worse that my own sibling, who was supposed to care about me, treated me so horribly?"

"It finally dawned on dear old Dad that I'm not the one who should be making those amends, and how wrong it was to try to force me to be closer to my bully. That what I am doing is MORE than enough...and he hasn't put that ball in my court since."

"Your brother is expecting you to set yourself on fire to keep her warm, and it needs to stop. At least your parents aren't putting up with that load of bull. NTA, OP. " ~ Lower-Elk8395

"Soooo, lemme get this straight—your sister goes out of her way to mock you AT YOUR WEDDING, but YOU are in the wrong for snapping back? No, OP, NTA. If your sister can't handle responses to her nasty comments, she should keep her mouth shut." ~ HNGWHITEBOI25

"You are NTA and your Mom and Dad are right—Tara will have to get over her jealousy and learn to deal with her own feelings more appropriately."

By the way, kudos to your parents for NOT urging you to apologize to Tara just to keep the family peace! I've read ever so many accounts from people whose parents pressure them like crazy to apologize/knuckle under to outrageously obnoxious family members in the interest of family harmony."

"Those parents are so terrified of conflict that they'll throw their own kids under the bus just to shut up the loudest, most spoiled and selfish member of the family if that family member squawks loudly enough!"

"Of course, all this does is to reward that family member and encourage them to go right on acting like a brat. Your parents are wise enough to see that this never works and that your sister can and should be held to a higher standard."

"Seriously, OP, good for you AND good for your parents!" ~ Royal-House-5478

"NTA, she sounds exhausting. I'd go low(er) contact with her and her minion." ~ PilotIntelligent8906

"NTA, and don't apologize. She began with the nasty comments, so it's her problem if you strike back." ~ Aggressive-Jacket663

"She tried to humiliate you on what is supposed to be one of the best days of your life. NTA." ~ Manager-Limp

"NTA. She was obviously digging at you. She was trying to bring you down on your wedding day."

"Your sister has some issues she needs to work through. Other people's weddings are not the time, nor the place for it."

"I'd simply refuse to apologize. If your sister shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it." ~ Inner-Nothing7779

Luckily, it doesn't sound like her sister or brother ruined her wedding day, but not for lack of trying.

Demanding an apology when the sister's own behavior humiliated her is an odd request. What would they want the OP to say? I'm sorry you're petty and childish?