Business trips with co-workers can be dramatic.
That is a lot of personalities to deal with.
And not every roommate is a match.
Redditor Time-Let-9134 wanted to discuss his experience and get feedback, so he naturally joined the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for what I wore to sleep when sharing a hotel room with a colleague?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (24 M[ale]) teach at a charter school network (please save the judgments lol, it’s only temporary).”
“They sent me and a few colleagues to a conference where they put us up for the night.”
“We had to share rooms, but we picked out roommates.”
“Me and a guy named ‘Blake’ (23 M) decided to room together.”
“He’s the closest I have to a friend in this workplace, and we’ve gone out to happy hour roughly once a month together this school year.”
“Anyway, we do all the conference stuff, and then we’re tired, so we decide to hit the hay right away.”
“To get into bed, I take off my clothes and get in wearing underwear (just standard boxer briefs).”
“Blake asked what I was doing, and I said I was going to sleep.”
“He asks if I’m putting on more clothes, and I say no because, again, I’m going to sleep.”
“He reminds me this is a work event and to be professional, and (here I may be an AH) I tell him that sleeping is not part of the work event and go to bed anyway.”
“In the morning, I wake up, and I’m not flaunting anything, but I do get a drink of water and check my phone before I walk to the shower to get dressed.”
“I notice Blake taking a picture of me.”
“I ask what he’s doing, and he says he needs evidence to show HR.”
“I tell him absolutely to delete that.”
“He says he did but refuses to show me confirmation.”
“Anyway back at work, I know he told people I was being an ‘exhibitionist’ and keeps telling people he’s going to report me.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Was I an AH?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the a**hole.
“NTA… but I bet you single-handedly just changed the ‘room share’ policy to be stricken from the books.”
“Good for you!” ~ TheCIAandFBI
“If I were you I would go to H[uman] R[esoucres] immediately to let them know he was taking photos of you.”
“If you had boxers on, there should be no problem.”
“I mean I’ve seen men at the beach in less.”
“You definitely could have put on something more after he mentioned his discomfort, but sounds to me like he is trying to make this a far bigger issue.” ~ General_Pineapple444
“He is certainly not a friend. In fact, he is a bit of a snake trying to exploit a nothing situation for his own no doubt malicious ends.”
“Go to your union representative if you have one, or use the union lawyer to take this case.”
“If not, go to HR, as he is no doubt spreading a distorted view of events.” ~ stattest
“Your work sucks for making you share a room with a coworker.”
“Incidents like this are why every company I’ve ever worked for has a strict one person-per-room policy.”
“To avoid situations like this.”
“HR owns this.” ~ Paco_Taco_779
“I went to a work event with my boss, and we had to share a room. It felt very weird.”
“I was Ion’ 24/7 and guess what I forgot to pack… pajamas.”
“Went out after our first meeting about buying some.”
“But boxers are fine to sleep in, but I totally agree that rooms should not be a thing.”
“Some people sleep naked, others like the TV on all night, others like a light on.”
“If you can’t afford separate rooms, then you can’t afford the trip at all.” ~ auscadtravel
“Very lightly ES,H but he sucks way more than you.”
“Yes, if you’re sharing a room with someone,e it’s common decency to have pajamas, not be in your underwear.”
“Especially so if it’s a colleague that you are not really friends with.”
“But him taking a photo is way out of line, way worse than you being in your boxers.”
“And if he wants to report you he should do that instead of gossiping.” ~ offbrandbarbie
“If work required you to share a room, they have approved you seeing each other in a locker room type scenario similar to a gym where people can’t be upset if they see you in underwear, or even in a state of changing your clothes.”
“Does your charter school have gym class?”
“Do the students see each other in underwear when they change for the gym?”
“NTA, the guy is a weirdo.” ~ JaydedXoX
“NTA. AAAAnd this is just one of many reasons why it’s a really bad idea for an employer to force employees to share a room on work trips.”
“The employees and employer are taking a big risk.”
“If the employer can’t afford to provide individual rooms for employees attending the event, they need to forego the event or decide who will/will not be attending the event based on what they can afford.”
“I once worked for a company that had offices and company-owned condos in various cities so that they didn’t have to pay for hotels when employees were traveling to work in other offices.”
“Traveling employees were required to stay at the condos unless they were already fully occupied.”
“They had men and women sharing the same condo and sometimes even bedrooms.”
“As expected, that led to all sorts of problems, so the policy was discontinued.”
“In addition to the risks to the employees and employer, it is a huge privacy issue, such as if an employee has a medical condition.”
“Some employees may also have a partner at home who would not be at all comfortable with their partner sharing a room (much less a bed) with a coworker.”
“I’m guessing that this organization either has no HR leadership or the HR leadership they do have is incompetent or has zero influence on management.” ~ MarkovianMan
“The guy took a pic of you in underwear… you’ve likely got a good HR case too… NTA.” ~ Asleep_Garage_146
“ESH… you obviously made him uncomfortable being ONLY in your UNDERWEAR.”
“You could have thrown a t-shirt on or something.”
“You were sharing a room with a work colleague. You should have brought pajamas to begin with.”
“Sleeping was still part of the event since you were sharing a room.”
“It’s rude to be practically naked in front of someone you don’t know well.”
“Him taking pictures of you was also an AH move.” ~ Whateveryousayman0
“NTA. Blake is turning this into an HR nightmare.”
“I would report this before he does since he’s escalating a hostile workplace for you by claiming you’re an Exhibitionist and he took a photo of you without your consent.” ~ JayzarDude
“NTA, mate.”
“You’re two blokes sharing a room, not a bloody board meeting.”
“As long as you ain’t starkers, there’s no wrong with kip gear being boxers.”
“Proper weird that he’s snapping pics instead of just saying he’s uncomfortable like a grown-up.”
“Bit of a muppet move, that.”
“And your company’s takin’ the piss with the shared room thing, how’s that ever meant to be professional?”
“Sounds like your mate’s the real problem, not you.” ~ ruyrybeyro
“NTA. I was going to vote N-A-H until the morning.”
“While I understand he was uncomfortable; it is not unprofessional to, effectively, wear a swimsuit to bed.”
“You were not naked; you were wearing undergarments that are akin to what would be seen at a pool – More so than if your chosen swim attire was a speedo.”
“You could likely have reduced his discomfort by throwing on a shirt to be kind – and up until this point – I would have not voted for an AH.”
“That said – him snapping pictures in a private space is an AH move.”
“If he thinks that you are ‘indecently dressed’ – photographic evidence of that is akin to voyeurism even if you’re not an exhibitionist.”
“I would report this to HR – as HIS behavior of taking a picture about you, and of misconstruing the events of that night, are both extremely unprofessional and disrespectful – and have a risk both to you and the company.” ~ Kitchen-Arm-3288
“Absolutely NTA.”
“You were not sharing a bed, and sleeping in boxers is perfectly normal.”
“Blake is weird for taking photos, and if you were feeling like getting back at him, you should report that nonsense to HR.”
“I could understand his objections if you were bollock naked, but you weren’t.”
“Also, your employer are d**ks for booking rooms on the basis of sharing.” ~ Better_Concert1106
“NTA. It’s for reasons like this it’ll never make sense to me that a company will send its work staff out to a conference and require them to share hotel rooms.”
“It’s just asking for problems and comes off looking cheap.” ~ skrtskerskrt
“So you (male) shared a room with a colleague (also male).”
“You wore boxers as you went to bed and in the morning before getting a shower.”
“He proceeded to take a photo of you in your underwear ‘to show HR,’ and he somehow thought YOU were being unprofessional??”
“NTA. I would get ahead of him with HR.”
“Absolutely no chance he should think he is ok to do that.” ~Boulder1983
“Not even remotely the a**ehole.”
“You weren’t naked.”
“You didn’t show anything sexual nor act in a sexual manner.”
“You were forced to share a room and did so.”
“What are you meant to do when you need to get ready?”
“‘Alright now CLOSE YOUR EYES, I need to remove my shirt quickly.'”
“That dude can get in the bin.”
“He’s the a**ehole for literally taking photos of you, I genuinely hope that does go to HR so you can counter against it.” ~ PopThoseT**sInADM
“NTA. I get that it’s a work event, but you were practically wearing a bathing suit.”
“Maybe next time, a robe to wear in the room so no one thinks you’re ‘flaunting.'”
“While I don’t really think it’s necessary, might just protect you from this BS.”
“As long as you had your own bed.”
“If you were sharing a bed, that would change my opinion.” ~ tomatojalapeno
“Think Blake is heading for a disciplinary- no one EVER takes a picture of anyone from work, clothed, or partly clothed.”
“It is creepy and just in boxers – seems like he wants it for ‘his own personal pleasure time’ (that’s as a work-related description of a particular act as I can think of) – and if you are both working in education, he is being a prize idiot, as any sexual impropriety of any description could result in him never working in that sector again. NTA.” ~ HumbleIllustrator774
“NTA and I’d report him to HR IMMEDIATELY for taking pictures of you in your underwear- regardless of whether he deleted the pic or not.”
“Going forward- this should be enough incentive for them to want to avoid serious lawsuits to get each of you your own room.”
“You’re adults.”
“What employer forces adults to share a hotel room?”
“If they can’t afford to pay for hotel rooms, then they can’t afford to send you to a conference.” ~ Mirvb
“NTA. That’s pretty normal to sleep in undergarments, but absolutely report him to HR ASAP.”
“Get there first or before they contact you and complain about him taking pictures of you in underwear without consent.”
“That is 100x worse than being in underwear, and he should be fired if not prosecuted for it.” ~ thenord321
“I once shared a hotel room with a coworker (intern) who got absolutely wasted on red wine at the conference reception, got completely naked for bedtime, then proceeded to throw up the red wine all over the white sheets and towels and then went to sleep naked in the bathtub, so my verdict is you’re NTA.” ~ chyzsays
“NTA. Because HR is going to care more about you sleeping in your underwear than your coworker taking pics of you in said underwear.”
“I would let him do it just so he can be told how stupid and inappropriate he was being.” ~ Becca092115
“NTA. It’s nuts that teachers have to share rooms at a work event.”
“Do other professions do this or just lowly teachers?”
“This seems like an HR and lawsuit nightmare all around.” ~ strato15
“NTA… but I would have worn some shorts.”
‘The coworker taking a picture of you, that’s weird, and he’s the a**hole.” ~ dan1101
Reddit is with you, for the most part, OP.
Maybe next time, bring some pajamas.
You never know how others will react.
It’s better to be prepared.