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In-Laws Upset After Accidentally Walking In On Daughter-In-Law Sleeping Topless In Her Apartment

A woman sleeps topless

Being a new parent takes a toll on your time.

Every second is about attending to the baby.

Or resting when you can.

So one of the most important things for new moms is comfort and ease.

How comfort and ease is found can turn others off though.

Case in point…

A deleted Redditor wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for being topless at home?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I have a son (4 months old), I’m breastfeeding, he’s forever spitting up on me, and we’re trying to give as much skin to skin contact as possible.”

“Because of this, I’ve pretty much stopped wearing clothes at home.”

“I’ll wear them when I go out, obviously, but in the privacy of mine and my boyfriend’s flat I just go bare chested.”

“My in laws were meant to come by around 6pm, and instead came by over an hour early and let themselves in with the spare key.”

“I was sleeping on the sofa with my son on my chest, they got an eyeful.”

“I woke up to them yelling at me to put a shirt on and asking why I didn’t do that sooner if I knew they’d be over today.”

“I maintain that they were a full hour early and why on Earth would they just let themselves in when I didn’t answer the door.”

“My boyfriend wants me to apologize, I refuse.”

“Who’s the a**hole here?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. First off, they shouldn’t have let themselves in.”

“Second, it’s your damn house.”

“You’re free to do what you want.” ~ Initial_Elderberry

“NTA. You should get the key back too.”  ~ PissedOffMama

“Also talk to your boyfriend about why he thought they should have a key in the first place, given that they’re like this.”

“My guess is that he’s pretty programmed, and that you endure a lot of other deranged behavior because he doesn’t see a problem.” ~ eddy_fication

“NTA. I would get that key back from them immediately.”

“At the very least, inform them that they are never to use the key unless it is an emergency and you are not home.”

“They should be profusely apologizing to you for invading your privacy by entering your home without knocking and being let in.”  ~ singerbeerguy

“Seriously, anyone who invades your space at a time you didn’t expect them is trespassing in a way.”

“I’d take that key back in a heartbeat after that little display.”

“It’s different if they lived there but they don’t.”

“They were NOT welcome until you welcome them.”

“Also? Who the f**k comes into another person’s house who happens to be at the breastfeeding stage and tells them to put a shirt on?!”

“I have anxiety f**king knocking on someone’s door when they expect me and are talking to me through text.”

“When someone says come on up, come in, or come over – I still have to confirm that I’m welcome before letting myself in.”

“That’s how you see things you don’t want to see.”

“It’s also how you get shot.”  ~ Ishouldnt_haveposted

“NTA 100%.”

“I have a two month old and am doing almost the same thing.”

“No one is allowed to come in unless one of us answers the door.”

“Even if they have a key.”

“That’s a rule we imposed from the get go, also, we need to know when they are on the way over so we can be prepared.”

“Your house, your kid, your body, your frickin’ rules.”

“You did NOTHING wrong.”

“They should apologize to YOU for invading your privacy.”  ~ gistergurl2005

“This here. I live with my parents and have a german sheperd that’s very protective.”

“If she isn’t introduced to someone first she will bark at them ( we never actually had her bite anyone before).”

“Now my grandmother came over and let herself in the house while me and my father were gone and my mother was down stairs exercising.”

“When my mother told me this I got mad.”

“Because if my dog was upstairs (usually when am gone my parents will leave them upstairs so they’re not in the basement themselves) there’s a good chance she would have got bitten and it would have been my dogs fault.”

“My mother also wasn’t too impressed and had said from now on she is going to start locking the doors even when someone is home.”  ~ Gamergeek57

“NTA. It’s unspeakably rude to just let yourself into someone else’s home.”

“It’s just as rude to be an hour early without any kind of warning.”

“So, they’re a**holes even before getting to the bulls**t of what you wear or don’t wear in the privacy of your own home, and their opinions about that.”

“Also, special shoutout to your partner for not having your back in all this- he’s an a**hole too for that.”

“Basically, you and the baby are the only people here who aren’t a**holes AND are owed big apologies.”  ~ SpicyMustFlow

“NTA – OP and baby were getting a much needed nap and the in-laws are super AH for thinking they had a right to dictate what she wears in her home and for showing up early with no warning.”

“Significant other is still an AH for not having his family’s (partner and child) back.”

“Get the locks changed OP.”  ~ Whenitrainsitpours86

“NTA. Spare keys are for emergencies not so you can walk in at any moment.”

“They still need to knock.”  ~ mdpqu

“NTA… your husband is insane if he expects you to apologize to his parents after they violated your privacy by letting themselves into your home an hour before they said they would be there.”

“They were also super duper rude to stay, wake you, and demand that you put clothes on for thier comfort.”

“It’s YOUR home.” You have an absolute right to be naked in your own home especially when you are breastfeeding a newborn infant.”

“What is wrong with your husband and his family?”  ~ REDDIT

“NTA. You could have even left out all the (legitimate) justification for being topless.”

“Anyone who shows up an hour early and lets themselves in without knocking loses any right to complain about the ‘decency’ of what they find in the other side of the door.”  ~ Hestiansun

“Lol… when I was breastfeeding my daughter my dear sweet idiot husband forgot to tell me that my F[ather] I[n] L[aw] was coming over.”

“He walked in and I got spooked and took my daughter off my breast, meaning that my FIL walked into my home tits out milk streaming.”

“Know what he did?”

“Turned around and walked upstairs.”

“And we have never spoken about it because he is a good and decent man. OP, your IL’s are complete a**holes. NTA.”  ~ caro1007

“Absolutely NTA for feeding YOUR baby in YOUR home.”

“How dare they let themselves in and then complain that your boobs were visible in readiness for what nature intended!”

“Don’t you dare apologize- it is they that should apologise to you!”

“On a separate note, and no criticism intended; I know how difficult it is to stay awake, but PLEASE don’t fall asleep with your baby on your chest, it’s such a huge risk factor for SIDS.”

“Please have a look at the Lullaby Trust website for Safer Sleep advice.””  ~ thatlldopig90

OP came back with deets…

“Edit: To everyone commenting about the sleeping situation as being a risk of suffocation/SIDS please know that I am fully aware of this and am taking all measures to avoid any injury/death of my child.”

“This was a one off event after he fell asleep on top of me and we napped for less than an hour, probably closer to half an hour.”

“I appreciate the concern but this is the only time it’s happened and it won’t be happening again.”

Reddit continued…

“NTA. Anybody who shows up an hour early and lets themselves in needs to just brace themselves for whatever weirdness is happening.”

“It’s your home, you expected to be alone.”

“If they traumatized themselves that’s their problem.”  ~ milee30

“NTA. Momma, you do you for the sake of your sanity with a 4 month old.”

“Grandparents were early, and they came in without knocking.”

“They should’ve been more courteous.”

“As a dad, I’ve seen the frustrations of nursing moms firsthand.”

“‘Just cover up’ while nursing is crap.”

“Babies often hate it and it’s just uncomfortable.”

“People need to get over it.”  ~ aestep1014

“Yeah NTA. So many things are wrong.”

“Your house you wear what you want.”

“Your boyfriend is being a *ick for wanting you to apologize.”

“Your in laws coming round an hour early, who does that?”

“Fully onboard with feeding and as much skin to skin as poss, so do as much as you can.”

“Good luck with the mini, been there and my wife fed as long as she could with all 3.”  ~ wilk76

“NTA and what’s more, I’m angry at them AND at your boyfriend.”

“You were in the privacy of your own space so that really is what ends this conversation and makes them TA.”

“But on top of that, you’re a new mother who’s breastfeeding… what did they expect?”

“They have no right to feel YOU owe THEM an apology for them busting in on you.” ~ koala-balla

OP had an update…

“I am aware of how the votes on here are shaping up but they are the only people I have close by right now.”

“My boyfriend is mad at me for making things awkward, and my in laws are annoyed by what they saw, so I just called them and apologized.”

“Going forward I will assume they will be early and not nap/be shirtless on days they are coming in case they arrive ahead of time.”

Well, OP Reddit is with you.

It’s unfortunate felt pressured into apologizing.

Maybe when the shock wears off you can all sit down and discuss this with them calmly.