People's homes are their sanctuaries.
When one is invited into another's sanctuary, there is a certain expectation from the homeowner that people will be respectful of their property.
Inevitably accidents will happen, especially when young children are involved.
Items will be broken.
Walls will get scuffed.
Food will get thrown.
It's not the end of the world.
Some parents could be more attentive with their little ones in someone else's home.
So who takes responsibility if something gets broken?
The homeowner or the guest?
Case in point...
RedditorJolly-Case93 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for asking my brother to pay for the statue his son broke?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My girlfriend (Sarah - 28 F[emale]) and I (25 F) moved in together about a year ago."
"We invited my side of the family over for dinner."
"My nephew (8 M[ale]) is a walking tornado."
"As I suspected, despite me already telling my brother that our place is now packed with fragile objects and decorative items and that he should keep an eye on his son, my nephew broke a glass statue."
"More like a sculpture. It was Sarah's favorite item in the house."
"Sarah and I are honestly tired of my nephew's carelessness around objects in and outside our home."
"So, for the first time, we asked to be paid for the damage done."
"My brother is furious and thinks I am being a major AH and a horrible sister."
"He says I should consider his finances because we're family."
"He said he couldn't afford it."
"I said I was fine with installments, and he still thinks I am an AH."
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
"The kid is eight and old enough to know better, yet young enough your brother should have been watching him more responsibly."
"If he were at a store, they would have made him pay for it. NTA." ~ Turbulent_Bad_3849
"They aren't eating anything."
"They're sending the broken item back to the manufacturer/documenting its destruction per the supplier agreement and getting a refund/replacement product."
"The manufacturer is eating part of the cost, that they write off on taxes, and depending on the product, potentially fully repairing it and selling it as pre-owned if possible."
"Some stores certainly still have a rule still, but even many smaller retailers will have the return to vendor option on a lot of their merchandise."
"Outside of a place that sells things like non-mass produced art, most stores don't lose much, if anything, on the broken product."
"Forcing customers to buy broken stuff might be just in some sense, but it's never something retail wants to do, and they'll do a lot not to do it." ~ AsgeirVanirson
"NTA. Your brother needs to be realistic."
"He can't let his kid run around and break people's things."
"He's lucky it was someone willing to work with him this time." ~ CielloGames
"I strongly suspect the brother would keep a much closer eye on his kid in one of those places, but the brother said it himself since this is family his kid should be allowed to run around and break things and the brother shouldn't be expected to pay for the damage."
"It's incredibly rude and OP is NTA for asking his brother to pay up."
"Maybe he'll learn he has to keep an eye on his kid wherever they are from now on." ~ the_skies_falling
"NTA. Some disagree as they think you're at fault for inviting a known walking tornado to a place with fragile objects."
"However, it is your home and you have every right to decorate it the way you want. You pre-warned your brother - that should have been enough."
"Your brother was remiss in not teaching his son boundaries."
"Honestly, I've seen literal toddlers who know better than your nephew."
"8 years old is old enough to be taught respect for other people's belongings and accountability for actions." ~ Dorkhette
"NTA. Your nephew is going to find out the consequences of his actions eventually."
"Thank goodness he's still at a young age to change his habits." ~ BloxTD_02
"When my grandson was that age, he had to go out on a dive boat with his dad (captain) because there was no daycare available that day."
"It was so cool-- a client on the boat gave him a $50 tip for helping with the dive equipment, etc."
"That night, little grandson threw something in the house and broke a window."
"The look on his face when dad said, 'There goes your tip!'" ~ Ok-Thing-2222
"NTA... your brother should consider YOUR financial situation."
"Also, it's his fault for raising that tornado of a child."
"All the blame is on him, and your actions are all called for." ~ zingerzanzer
"Preach. As the owner of one child tornado, I know better than to take him to my friend's houses."
"Example: A friend of mine has a pretty cool funky pop collection that my son is enamored by."
"They look like toys, but I know she loves them and cares for them."
"The minute he gets within 5 ft of one, I'm on his a**."
"There's no excuse. OP is NTA. Brother is just a lazy dad." ~ Extreme_Egg7476
"NTA. It's your right to decorate your house as you please and your brother's responsibility to teach his son boundaries."
"You had already warned your brother to keep his son under control."
"At 8 years old, the boy is old enough to learn to respect other people's stuff." ~ Last_Muffin_1354
"NTA. Perhaps if your brother is held accountable, he might decide to give his son the level of supervision he clearly needs to avoid damaging others' property."
"You did try to avoid damage by moving the smaller pieces."
"You have the right to decorate as you choose, and your brother is responsible for his child."
"And really, 8 is too old for 'tornado' behavior while in someone else's home."
"Your brother may need to work on his parenting." ~ badpandacat
"NTA - when my son was 2, he broke my mom's TV."
"I also couldn't afford it, but I replaced it ASAP."
"His son is old enough to know better." ~ Seashed_
"NTA. Unless this kid has a disability, eight is old enough to control yourself in someone's home."
"Even if he is neurodivergent, his parents should be setting boundaries and monitoring."
"When my kids were toddlers, they had tornado phases."
"If they ever broke something in someone's home, I would offer to pay immediately." ~ Loud_Ad_6871
"NTA - Reminds me of my sister and my niece, I had a nice $200+ scale model which my niece thought was a toy, and then launched it down the stairs."
"My sister didn't bother reimbursing me because it was an 'accident.'"
"If I were to actually tally up everything, my sister would owe me quite a bit of money." ~J esterace77
"NTA. His son needs to be careful around other people's belongings, and by not offering to pay you for it the second it broke, he showed he has no respect for your home." ~ tantalustroupe2
"NTA, your nephew is old enough to know better."
"He should be at a point where he can be trusted."
"If not, why is your brother not watching him."
"To those saying, 'You know what he's like and you should move things.' Why?"
"It's OP's home, she shouldn't have to rearrange everything in the hopes that nothing gets damaged."
"If this is a common occurrence, I can understand now demanding a payment."
"There's only so many times you can let it slide."
"Perhaps even just the threat will make your brother actually parent his child." ~ Dry-Depth-4693
"NTA. Unless you take them to small claims or something, I wouldn't hold your breath on getting that money back."
"However, I would tell them their son is officially no longer welcome in your home until he can learn to respect other people's spaces." ~ whatthefrelll
"NTA. 8 is too old for that level of careless accident. Any decent parent would offer to replace it or keep a much closer eye on their kid if they knew they can't afford to replace things."
"I say this as a parent to a very active 6-year-old who needs to have a very close eye kept on her because I can't afford to replace stuff." ~ HisssHisss
"NTA. As a parent, it's the brother's responsibility to ensure his child does not break/damage other people's property."
"And in the event it should happen, he most definitely should pay to have the item fixed (if possible) or replaced."
"If your brother is complaining about not being able to afford it, maybe that's a sign he should not take his child anywhere until he can either..."
"A) afford to replace broken items..."
"B) teach his child to be more careful, or..."
"C) watch his child better. Or better yet..."
"D) all of the above." ~ wigglepie
"NTA - Your brother's being a terrible parent. Not only he doesn't take responsibility for his kid, but also he could've gotten hurt. It was a glass statue. What if it fell on him or cut him?"
"This could've ended a lot worse than it did." ~ Independent_Cookie
OP had more to say...
"Someone said I should mention that the statue was quite heavy actually."
"I'm surprised he managed to break that in the first place, which to me screams that he is doing this on purpose, which is why I'm extra upset."
"It was about 5 feet tall, laminated plate glass."
"He broke it by 'accidentally' hitting the table while he was running, and the table swung, making the statue fall."
"I didn't see any of it."
"I just walked into shattered glass so I don't know how much of that is true, given it was heavy."
"It cost around 4K, and it was Sarah's favorite."
"It is not the first time my nephew destroys something Sarah likes."
Well, OP, Reddit is clearly with you.
It is ok to be upset when others act out in your home.
And when people break your things, it is not out of the ordinary to expect compensation.
This could very well turn into a situation that causes a family rift.
Which is very unfortunate.
Hopefully, your brother takes responsibility.
Good luck.















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.