Teen Refuses To Get Dad Birthday Gift After Years Of Neglect In Favor Of New Wife's Two Kids

Blended families are almost always guaranteed to get off to a tentative, if not downright rocky, start.

After all, after years of getting used to your own familial routine, you suddenly find yourself sharing your home with new step-parents and step-siblings, disrupting your status quo.

Sometimes, for the better, you find yourself grateful for finally having the sibling or parent you always wanted.

Other times, sadly, things change for the worse.

Redditor CatLane initially had a very tight bond with his father after losing his mother at a very young age.

However, when the original poster (OP)'s father remarried, his relationship with his father took a very unhappy turn.

Eventually leading to the OP to decide to no longer be an active part of his father's life.

Wondering if he took things too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

"AITA for ignoring my dad's birthday and not getting him a gift?"

The OP explained why he chose to ignore his father's birthday altogether:

"Ever since I (16 M[ale]) was a little kid, I got my dad a birthday gift with the help of my (surrogate) grandparents."

"My mom died when I was two so it was me and dad for a lot of years."

"Dad and I used to be really close."

"Then, when I was 10, he met Jen, and he met her kids, who were 18 months and 3 years old at the time."

"Dad and Jen fell in love pretty fast, and they moved in together a few months after they met."

"Jen was divorced, and her kid's dad wasn't around."

"So my dad decided he needed to step up and be a good dad to them."

"He told me things would change, but I was still his son, and he'd make time for me."

"But ever since he decided Jen's kids were going to be his, he let me down a lot."

"It started with us having plans and him having to cancel because one of the kids was sick."

"Then it was they had a play or a game he needed to be there for."

"Or it was they had decided to have one of the kid's birthday parties early, and Dad needed to be there."

"But he wasn't doing the same for me."

"When I got sick, he'd send me to my grandparents or expect me to stay with Jen while he did something with Jen's kids."

"If I had something on, he'd apologize for missing it and say he had plans with Jen's kids."

"Oh, and the big thing that pisses me off is for the last six years (almost), he gives Jen's kids credit and thanks them too when I buy him a gift."

"Even when I tell him it's from only me."

"He talks about it being teamwork to get him that."

"I tried talking to Dad."

"He admitted he let me down."

"He told me he was afraid of Jen's kids feeling rejected if he were to cancel with them for me."

"That he didn't want them to feel like he loved me more when all three of us are equal."

"I told him he cares more about them, and he asked how I could say that after ten years of having all his attention."

"He asked me to think about the kids whose bio dad walked out on them and who could feel really unwanted if he were to let them down."

"I told him I didn't care about them or their feelings or whether they feel loved and wanted."

"I told him I don't feel loved and wanted."

"I feel resentful of the fact he gives them credit for my gifts; he cancels on me for them but won't give the same back."

"He told me he can't change it but he can try to let me down less."

"I told him he was putting them ahead of me, and I told him I was done."

"He can enjoy having two kids instead of three."

"He didn't think I would follow through."

"This big talk happened back in April."

"Dad's birthday was yesterday, and I didn't join in on any of the celebrations, and I got him nothing."

"I didn't even say happy birthday."

"I knew they were going out for the day, but I didn't go, and I knew ahead of time."

"When they got home, Dad was upset because I was on the couch playing video games."

"He told me he'd missed me."

"Jen told me I had really hurt my dad and was behaving like a child instead of a 16-year-old."

"AITA?"

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for ignoring his father's birthday.

While some felt that the OP's behavior was extreme and immature, they agreed that he gave his father a much-needed dose of his own medicine, with others pointing out that he needn't worry about Jen's accusation of behaving like a child as he still was, in fact, a child:

"NTA."

"It is sorta petty, but you tried with grown-up talk, and it didn't work out."

"It was a powerful move to show him how he makes you feel all the time."

"It's okay to accept stepkids, as he should, but he obviously put them ahead of you."

'Soon you will be old enough to move out and forget about all of them."- anya-444

"NTA."

"'Jen told me I…was behaving like a child'."

"You are a child."

"One that's been abandoned by his father, despite the fact you live in the same home as him."

'You've done all that you can to communicate your hurt to him."

"Now it's time to protect your heart."

"He may come back to you soon and promise change."

"Believe only his actions."

"I'd actually recommend you get therapy for yourself."

"You've been through a lot, losing your mother and then being emotionally abandoned by your father, and you will need help to process this."- Pleasant-Koala147

"NTA."

"You tried to talk to him about it, and it did nothing."

"I'm sorry your dad is treating you like this."

"Do you have any other family you can speak with?"- Emiliodash88

"'He asked me to think about the kids whose bio dad walked out on them and who could feel really unwanted if he were to let them down'."

"Let him know that because of his efforts to be there for them, you know exactly how it feels, but what makes it worse is that he's still there, so you get a front-row seat to him being a great dad to everyone but you."

"NTA."- randisuewho

"NTA."

"It's kind of ironic how he became a hero dad to his stepchildren but an A dad to you."

"That's just not how it works."

"He might save the other kids, but he became an absent father to yours, and for the stepmom to meddle by telling you you're acting like a child, she has no right to say so, and she should've just let the two of you talk."- kyravalentina_

"NTA."

"You've spoken to your dad about how he's made you feel, and he's effectively done nothing to remedy the situation."

"He can't enjoy the benefits of having three kids if he only puts in the effort with two of them."

"If you're open to still having a relationship with your dad, I'd suggest asking him whether you could all attend family therapy, but I wouldn't be surprised if you're just done with the situation at this point."- laughinglovinglivid

"So because just stepkids biological father abandoned them, your dad thought his boss move was going to be to abandon his own child to show them what a great guy he is?"

"Yeah, no."

"NTA."

"Let your dad know that abandoning you will not give these other children back their father. It's only costing the relationship that you two have."- Fit_Government5736

"NTA."

"You started treating him like he treats you, and he doesn't like it. It's interesting, isn't it?"

"Tell them you were acting like an adult as you were doing the same thing he does."

"Good luck."- SheiB123

"NTA and how dare Jen say that when she had watched your dad allow her children to be priority while you get pushed to the back."

"Maybe I'm petty but I'd probably take it a step further and start call in him by his first name or Mr or sir instead of dad to really hit home."

"Also, have your grandparents put down as your school emergency contacts."

"You've tried to be grown up and speak to him, and he is ignoring the issues and trying to guilt you."- Secret_Double_9239

The OP's father certainly had every right to be hurt that his son completely ignored his birthday.

Hopefully, he'll realize that that's precisely how the OP has been feeling for the last several years, not just one night.

While the love and care he gave Jen's children should not go unnoticed, it also shouldn't have come at the expense of the OP.