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Teen Won’t Read Speech Mom Wrote For Wedding To New Husband That Dismisses Her Late Dad

bride and groom toasting at their wedding
Marco_Piunti/Getty Images

In today’s episode of Bridezilla or Not, a now-deleted post chronicles a bride’s request for her teenage daughter to read a pre-written speech at the wedding.

The Original Poster (OP) in question is Redditor Striking-Arm3233, the daughter of the bride.

The speech in question was written by the bride herself and doesn’t reflect any of the OP’s true feelings.

This caused the OP to turn down her mother’s request, ultimately leading to an argument.

The OP turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for telling my mom I am not comfortable with the speech she wants me to give at her wedding and I won’t give it?”

She went on to explain:

“My mom is engaged to a guy called George and they want their wedding to symbolize the creating of a new family unit with me [15-year-old female]…”

“…and mom and George and his three kids (ages 8, 6 and 5).”

“George’s ex wife dipped and has not seen her kids since the youngest was born. My dad died four years ago.”

“Mom and George have been together for 3 years and we have lived together for 7 months now.”

“Mom, George and George’s kids are really happier and my mom is happier than she ever was, something she has said. I don’t think she and my dad were happily married when he died.”

“Anyway, like I said they want to celebrate the ‘family unit’ they are creating and want to talk about how great it is, how we’re all so happy with it and feel like we have become such a solid unit.”

“My mom and George wrote this speech for me to give at the wedding in a few months and they wanted me to read it.”

“They said they took care of writing it because they could put words together better. I read the whole thing and I couldn’t imagine myself reading it.”

“Some of the quotes from the speech are ‘I’m so happy our family is finally whole and legally recognized'”

“‘I wouldn’t change a thing about my life because it brought us all here'”

“‘Our family is the best thing to happen to me'”

“‘I cannot imagine life being any better than it is right now, standing here among the people I love most in the world'”

“‘This is the start of the best chapter of our lives’

“‘I’m so excited to welcome my new dad and new siblings into the (last name) family'”

“Those are just the ones I actually kept notes of. But generally, the tone of the speech is not how I feel.”

“I would change all of this in a heartbeat for my dad back. This will never be my best chapter when he’s not here, and I don’t love George or his kids.”

“I don’t have strong feelings either way. But I’m also sad. The wedding and all the enthusiasm just reminds me I don’t have dad to confide in anymore.”

“My mom is happy, and I’m glad of that, and I would give a speech about that, but I know the second I say that, my mom would want us in ‘family therapy’, and I don’t want to go with them.”

“I don’t want to hear that it’s okay to embrace and be happy about a new dad and siblings after 15 years of being an only child.”

“Instead, I told mom I wasn’t comfortable giving the speech they wrote and I won’t do it.”

“She told me the speech was perfect and was a beautiful tribute to what was happening. She also told me how much it will mean to George’s kids.”

“I told her I still didn’t feel comfortable giving it and to just forget about me saying anything.”

“My mom was upset/mad. George was asking why the hell I’d refuse to do something that will make everyone so happy.”

“They told me I’m acting like an elementary school kid instead of a teenager who is basically a young adult.”

“They also have George’s oldest tell me how excited she and her brothers are to hear my speech, and she told me she’s excited to be my sister.”


“Also, the speech is like three pages long.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA – those aren’t your words, and that’s not how you feel.”

“Is there another adult in your life – maybe an aunt/uncle or grandparent that can support you here? And talk some sense into dear old Mom and George” – jrm1102


“That is pretty awful. They are trying to present a vision of what they want the world to see, not reality.”

“The fact they didn’t write the speech with you or trust you to write it yourself shows that they know how you feel.”

“Talk to your mom alone and make it clear that you are not going to read a speech that airbrushes your dad out of history.”

“Tell her that you like George and his kids, but you don’t love him like a dad and will never see him as your dad.”

“Write your own speech, which waters down what they wrote. Congratulate them on their marriage. Say you like George and are pleased your mom is marrying him.”

“Present them with the speech and tell them that is the one you’ll read or none at all.”

“Stick to your guns no matter what they throw at you.” – Dalton402

“Tell them you’ll read the speech that they wrote by prefacing it with, ‘Mom and George wrote this speech for me to read to you today.'”

“If they don’t want that, too bad, because that’s it is what is going to happen if they insist that you do any type of speech.”

“Let’s face it, any speech that is read and not from the heart sounds so insincere and contrived anyway. It won’t fool anyone, and the whole family will look ridiculous.”

“NTA” – Beautiful-Report58

“NTA. Your mother and your stepfather-to-be are welcome to make any comments they like about THEIR feelings about the new relationship.”

“They are not allowed to put words in your mouth and ascribe feelings to you that you don’t have.”

“I would continue to refuse to give the speech, and if they continue to push, I would tell them I might not attend the wedding at all.” – Ok_Childhood_9774


“They’re trying to sucker you into their ‘Perfect New Family’ script. Getting an 8-year-old to gush about ‘getting a new sister’? Ewww.”

“I’d be polite but firm about you not giving this gushy blurb a reading at the wedding. If Miss 8 is so ‘excited’ for it all, maybe she can do the reading.”

“Your mother is not being fair to you. You’re not a little kid.” – molewarp

“NTA. You have 3 options.”

“1, Just do the speech. Hopefully, everyone will see just how much you don’t mean it by your facial expressions and tone of voice.”

“2. Refuse. Just don’t do it.”

“3. If they don’t accept your refusal, then at the wedding, before you do the speech, say ‘I didn’t write this, and I do not feel about things as they are written on this speech.'”

“‘I have been forced to read it out as is with the threat of punishment. I have no objection to this wedding, i like them well enough, but I still miss my dad and would much sooner him be here.'”

“Or instead, just start reading and then when it gets to one of the phrases that really irks you, stop. Say you can’t read what they wrote anymore because it’s not true.”

“2 and 3 are lively to cause major upset, but your mum is being totally selfish and unfair here.” – StarlightM4

“NTA. I’m sorry your Mom is trying to to force this whole thing on you .”

“Is there another adult you can talk to and be willing to stand in your corner?”

“Despite what you think Family Therapy isn’t the worst idea, but you’ll need to be strong and stand your ground to get your point across, as this won’t be an easy ride.” – OnlymyOP

“NTA. ‘Why are you asking me to lie to all of these people for you?'”

“Also: ‘They said they took care of writing it because they could put words together better.'”

“And ‘They told me I’m acting like an elementary school kid instead of a teenager who is basically a young adult.’ are contradictory statements.”

“Either you’re a kid who needs the speech written for them, or you’re a young adult who can do it yourself, using the truth.”

“Sorry, your mom and George are awful, and this smells like one of those situations where the older kid from the previous marriage is neglected and ignored.”

“I would start right now doing everything you can to make sure you’re taken care of once you’re out of their house.”

“I can see how in a few years it’ll be ‘Sorry, we can’t help you with college, we have to spend that money on <whatever BS for the other kids>.'” – dplafoll

Verdict? Bridezilla.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)