Woman Kicks Boyfriend's Mom Out For Throwing Away Her 'Revealing' Clothes Without Asking

Home is meant to be a safe place.

A place where one can leave their belongings and trust they're going to be there upon return.

But some houseguests don't always follow that feeling.

Redditor Human-Association909 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

"AITA for kicking my B[oy]F[riend]'s mom out of my house?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I (25 F[emale]) have been with my BF for 3 years now."

"A few months ago his mom came to the US from India and has been spending the last few months in the home we got together."

"It all started when I kept finding her rummaging through my clothes on multiple occasions (I don't work from home, and she doesn't have a job)."

"Then I started to notice my clothes go missing,g and I noticed she was slowly throwing my clothes away."

"I don't make a lot, so it was really upsetting to me to see my clothes in the trash (that's when I put 2 and 2 together)."

"After that, I confronted her and asked her to please stop."

"She claimed the clothes were too revealing for someone who will be a part of her family (they are Lulu Lemon athletic clothes I wear to the gym)."

"I told her I could wear what I wanted but that I would refrain from wearing the clothes in front of her."

"She stopped throwing the clothes out for a while but then started up again, and this time she actually started cutting them apart and throwing them out."

"I had had enough and got her a hotel room and put all her stuff in there when she and my BF were out one day."

"Now she is going back to India, and my BF is saying he's going to break up with me because I disrespected his mom."

"He asked me to move out (we both pay half of the rent right now), and I just feel a little guilty."

The OP was left to wonder:

"I know it is disrespectful in Indian culture but AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"Good God, you have dodged a major bullet, my dear."

"First of all, you could have reported her to the police for what she was doing."

"Second, now you know you had a mama's boy on your hands — to the point that he said you were disrespecting her by not allowing her to cut up and throw your clothes into the trash?"

"Is this story even real?"

"Just let him go — and it can't be fast enough! NTA." ~ Less_Watch7655

"NTA. You caught a glimpse of what life would be like with him if you two got married."

"Consider it a bullet dodged." ~ Caspian4136

"NTA - she has no business violating your privacy, much less destroying and trashing your things."

"Your BF's reaction suggests that is what you will face in the future; he will prioritize his mother over you." ~ wesmorgan1

"No, your boyfriend is wrong."

"I wouldn't be fighting for a man who lets his mother destroy your property and speak to you that way."

"You didn't disrespect his mum, she disrespected you, and now so did he."

"You deserve better. NTA." ~ stevienicksballsack

"Your boyfriend's mother is throwing away clothes you bought with your money, but somehow you get the blame here?!?!?"

"NTA, and you dodging a bullet."

"Run, don't walk, or jog away from this relationship." ~ say_uncle914

"This was your future."

"Were you comfortable with that?"

"Move out and let him worry about rent. NTA." ~ Adorable-Growth-6551

"You weren't 'disrespectful to Indian culture.'"

"People from India don't get to come into your home, cut up your clothes, throw them in the trash, and then have the audacity to say you are disrespecting them." ~ Ilumidora_Fae

"If you have proof that she was destroying your property, press charges."

"Better yet, start throwing her stuff out."

"But also reach out to your landlord and inform them of this situation." ~ Altruistic_Tonight77

"Why should OP move out?"

"If you're both on the lease, you have equal rights."

"Find a roommate OP, he's the one who thought it was acceptable for his mother to steal your clothes."

"Also, send him an invoice for each and every item she stole."

"It's his responsibility to pay for his mother's thievery."

"He's lucky you don't have her arrested for theft and destruction of property."

"I would have filed a police report as soon as I found out."

"Go scorched earth, OP!"

"Don't let this AH get away with treating you like trash." ~ Remarkable_Sea_1062

"Absolutely! Let him move out."

"She's controlling you when she has no right to, and he's okay with that - which tells me he will probably get more controlling as the relationship progresses, as well."

"OP was not disrespectful."

"The mother was disrespectful by coming into her home and destroying her clothing."

'The fact that the boyfriend cosigned this behavior tells me that he shouldn't be OP's boyfriend any longer." ~ deathbystereo007

"Just to add to this (I'm an Indian woman), a lot of Indian men are like this."

"They always put their mom over their partner."

"OP dump him."

"And don't let him bully you about the house situation."

"If you pay rent, you have as much right to be there as him."

"Also don't make the mistake of thinking he will change. He won't."

"This is what he thinks is correct."

"Go put this story on an Indian marriage sub and see the reaction you get from men there."

"They completely agree that the wife is second to the mother (his mother obviously not hers)."

"You are 100% correct, but you need to leave him." ~ silverfairy5

"You are NTA."

"Do NOT MOVE OUT UNTIL you consult with a lawyer about what your rights are."

"Talk to your attorney about whether you can add the costs of the clothes that she threw out or ruined to your side of expenses."

"If not, file a small claims court action because Lulus is $$$."

"Move all of your stuff, including bedroom furniture, toiletries, clothes, etc., into the guest room and get a lock for the door."

"I would also get cameras for your room and wherever your property is that is too large to move into the guest room."

"Be sure to catalog all of your property as well as furniture, linens, etc., that you purchased together." ~ Little_Loki918

"No. Disrespecting his mother would've been you cutting up all her clothes and throwing them out as well as her."

"Not sending her, along with her stuff to a hotel."

"If your BF thinks you are the problem, then you are clearly with someone who not only allows his mother to disrespect you but doesn't deserve you."

"Do not excuse her acts or his behavior as cultural."

"She was invited as a guest into your home, then proceeded to violate your privacy by rummaging through your belongings and throwing away your clothes."

"Even after she was confronted, she doubled down and decided to destroy your clothes before throwing them out."

"YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM!!"

"Never feel guilty for not allowing someone (doesn't matter who) to disrespect you, especially in your own home." ~ Ratchet_gurl24

"NTA, if you bought the home together, then be prepared for a legal battle, but in no way is this reasonable."

"You shouldn't feel guilty at all." ~ notadruggie31

"Breakup with him."

"His mom doesn't deserve your respect."

"You aren't married, you owe her nothing."

"I would ask her or her son to reimburse me for my clothes."

"File a police report."

"See to it that she pays a price for her meddling in things that don't concern her."

"You have no responsibility to adopt her culture in your house, in your country. "

"Move out."

"Let her idiot son pay the entire rent by himself." ~ deux-peches

"Indian here, what she was doing was very, very disrespectful."

"My grandma used to do this to my mom very early on, and my mom didn't want to talk to her, fearing she might be coming off as disrespectful, so my mom started to lock her cupboards when she would go out."

"After a point, she also started locking her room."

"I think after a few years of this, my grandma got the hint, so now, even if my mom leaves her cupboard open, grandma doesn't really do any of that."

"This was in India in the early 1990s."

"One would feel things would have changed after that as my grandma's thinking also changed, but nope."

"Some M[other]-I[n]-L[aw]'s are still as regressive."

"It's better you break up with your BF."

"He is not going to stand up for you ever."

"He is a mummy's boy. NTA." ~ practical-junkie

"Break up, don't move out, get the house valued by 3 different agents, then send the valuations to him via certified mail. He has 2 options: you sell and walk away with your equity, or one of you buys the other out."

"This was a glimpse into your future." ~ ToTheBrightStar

"NTA. But initially, you said you two bought the home together, and later, you said you split the rent 50/50."

"That part didn't make sense to me."

"In either case, work it out minus guilt trip."

"Yes, culturally, parents are very important and respected in India, and you could have spoken to him in the first instance to speak to his mom, but that doesn't entitle his mom to destroy your property."

"They are set in their ways, and this break up is a blessing for you." ~ notthatgreatrytnow

"NTA. But you might need to get a lawyer to discuss your options."

"DON'T move out."

"The relationship is over."

"Tell him he needs to move to a different bedroom until you are in agreement about what is happening with the house."

"If he's going to buy you out of your share of the house make sure you get the current equity out that you're entitled to."

"If you want to go nuclear tell him he needs to reimburse you for all of the clothes your mother stole."

"Always refer to it as stealing as that is what it was."

"Tell him that if he doesn't you'll press charges and file a lawsuit against her."

"If she has charges and a lawsuit against her in the US, that could affect her ability to travel here."

"You may not have actually to go this route; the threat of a lawsuit might be enough to get him to pay you." ~ blueswan6

"NTA. You say that you guys bought the house together."

"I assume you are both on the mortgage and the deed."

"He absolutely can't make you move out."

"But what was his opinion of his mother destroying clothes that you worked hard to pay for?"

"Sell the house and move on." ~ justloriinky

"NTA. American here but my wife and most of my social circle are N[on]-R[esident]-I[Indian] and nobody I know in our generation (millennial) would tolerate that."

"It's a common problem to have and would only get worse, especially if the dad got involved." ~ golden_boy

"Cultural sensitivity is a fine thing, but why do I always have to be the one who is sensitive?"

"We have sessions at work where we're taught how to relate to people from different cultures."

"I don't want to unintentionally offend anyone, and some of this is useful information, but if someone is offended to see the bottom of my shoe, I would tell them this is America."

"Nobody gives a fig about my feet, and no insult is intended." ~ newbie527

"NTA. This is NOT Indian culture."

"It's just an entitled, controlling woman and her son still tied to her apron strings."

"Good move getting her out of the home."

"Thank your ex for helping you see that he is not the guy for you and for breaking up with him."

"Invite him to pack his bags, too."

"He has no legal power to make you leave."

"You used the words 'bought' and 'rent' when discussing your home."

"If you two co-own the house, then you two have to decide if one of you is able to buy the other out."

"If you co-lease the place, then check into what the lease allows (e.g., subletting or one person taking on the lease solo)."

"I am mentally picturing the woman dragging her son by the ear back to India, so she can control who he ends up in a relationship with." ~ swillshop

"NTA. You both bought the house together, he should be the one leaving and not kicking you out."

"Bring our mom home and tell her to go through his clothes and start throwing his things out and cutting up his clothes like his mother did to yours, see how he feels about that." ~ Lazy_Palpitation_789

"NTA. It's his mother that caused the problem and he's the one that decided to break up with you, so he gets to walk, not you."

"Oh, and before he goes, tell him how much he owes you for the clothes his mother ruined or threw away." ~ Physical-Bear2156

"NTA. You don't want to marry into that."

"Your BF is upset that you wanted to keep your clothes and told his mom that."

"He is not upset his mom destroyed hundreds of dollars (probably thousands, given the brand) of your property." ~ Exciting-Peanut-1526

"NTA, you need to speak to an attorney ASAP."

"Don't move out, force a sale if you have to."

"If he makes any threats, tell him you'll press charges on his mom for destroying your property and will forward the police report to the US Consular section in India so they can cancel her visa."

"Tell him the US can find her inadmissible for committing crimes of moral turpitude, that will shut him right up." ~ Euphoric_Egg_4198

"I'm Indian, your BF has no spine. NTA." ~ ChiquitaBananaKush

"NTA, thank goodness you found this out before you married him." ~ NoHorseNoMustache

"NTA. Tell HIM to move out!"

"Also, you dodged a bullet."

"Now you never have to deal with her again." ~ Lilac-Roses-Sunsets

OP came back to chat...

"It sucks that this happened but I am going to accept the break-up and see a lawyer."

"I don't want to because I am obviously very in love with him still, and it is hard to throw away three years of dating, but I understand what I need to do."

This is outrageous behavior, OP.

She has no right to treat you this way.

Redditors are clear where they stand.

You deserve better. Stand your ground.