No matter the circumstances, being let go from a job is always an emotional experience.
Often coming with its fair share of shame and embarrassment.
Particularly should you ever run into a former colleague or employer after this happens.
While many people go out of their way to avoid such a thing, chances are you will eventually see someone from a former job.
Redditor DaycareNursingHome was recently let go from a position she had held for years.
Naturally, the original poster (OP) felt ashamed and humiliated by the situation.
Complicating matters, the OP realized that she was missing something of great meaning to her, and it currently resided in her former workplace.
Having some doubts about retrieving said item, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
Unlike the similar “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
“AITAH for asking for a personal item back after being fired?”
The OP explained why she was hesitant to make a return visit to her former workplace:
“I (28 F[emale]) was recently terminated from a job I had for six years, and I’m wondering if I’d be wrong for asking for a personal item back from the workplace.”
“For some background, over the past several months, I felt like more and more responsibilities were being added to my workload.”
“I can’t prove it was intentional, but I started to feel like my manager might have had a personal issue with me or was hoping I’d eventually mess up.”
“He has only been there about two years, and I had worked under four previous managers without any major problems.”
“I was even close with a couple of them and often helped with management-side tasks, so I had a strong understanding of how things operated.”
“Recently, I was assigned to serve food at a private-pay building whose kitchen is currently out of service, meaning our team has to cover both buildings while staying on a very strict schedule.”
“While plating food, I accidentally served a bowl of veggies that apparently had some type of food stuck in the bottom.”
“I genuinely didn’t see it.”
“The setup makes it hard for me to look directly into the bowls because the stove and food containers sit high, and I was moving quickly to stay on time.”
“A nurse noticed the issue but didn’t say anything to me or ask me to remake it.”
“Instead, she just reported it.”
“I finished my shift completely unaware that anything had happened.”
“When I returned to my main building, I was immediately told to go home because I was suspended and needed to speak with my manager the next day.”
“I spent the next 24 hours extremely anxious, trying to figure out what I could have possibly done wrong.”
“I’ve always considered myself a strong employee and typically go above and beyond, so this came as a shock.”
“At the meeting, my manager asked if the nurse had said anything to me (she hadn’t) and then told me the incident was considered a health and safety violation that resulted in immediate termination.”
“What confuses me is that similar or worse food issues have happened before without anyone being fired.”
“For example, we had a cook who regularly served burnt or undercooked food for months and was simply transferred to another facility.”
“Anyway, here’s where I might be the AH?”
“I had brought a hand mixer to work that my mom bought me shortly before she passed away ten months ago.”
“It has a lot of sentimental value, and I want to ask for it back.”
“However, I don’t want to come across as a disgruntled former employee or cause any additional tension.”
“So, AITA for asking for my hand mixer back after being terminated?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Everyone agreed that the OP should absolutely reclaim her hand mixer.
Everyone agreed that the hand mixer was the OP’s personal property, and thus she should absolutely have it back, and if she didn’t feel comfortable returning to her former workplace, she should possibly have a friend retrieve it for her:
“‘I had brought a hand mixer to work’.”
“Of course, you should get your mixer back, and it never should have been brought to your job.”
“Regarding your job, you used a dirty bowl, but who was responsible for washing the dishes?”
“Who was responsible for setting the ‘clean’ dishes out for you to use?”
“It all seems odd to be fired for, since there were other failures.”
“It does seem like they wanted to fire you for some reason, but not noticing a bowl that had not been properly cleaned is not a good reason.”- hopingtothrive
“No!”
“Go get your mixer!”- buffydisneypotter
“I am concerned that you have had FIVE managers in 6 years of employment at this location, if I read this correctly.”
“There is a significant issue if the place has that much turnover.”
“Be grateful to be rid of the place.”
“Your property remains yours.”
“Go get it.”
“NTA.”- BonusMomSays
“I would have gotten it before I left personally.”
“If you have a friend there, maybe get them to grab it for you if you’re nervous to go.”-SundaePlastic2475
“Are you in a right-to-work state?”
“I’d definitely be putting in for unemployment, especially due to the uneven distribution of discipline.”
“Let the state work it out.”
“Regarding your mixer, go get it back.”
“I can’t imagine an employer expecting you to supply equipment for them – that should have been your first red flag.”
“I’d also contact HR at the nurse’s job and ask for more clarification on exactly what happened.”
“It all sounds very fishy to me, and I’d want to get to the bottom of it.”- kag1991
The OP later returned with an update, sharing some more insight into her former job and what she ultimately decided to do:
“First, I want to clarify why the situation was treated so seriously.”
“The concern was that the bowl should have been fully cleaned in the dishwasher, which uses strong chemicals similar to bleach.”
“If leftover food remained, it could potentially contain chemical residue and harm someone if eaten.”
“I do understand why that would require consequences of some sort.”
“While it feels unfair, it is just in the eyes of Corporate.”
“What makes this especially difficult for me is that I was the longest-standing employee with no prior major errors and was fully trained.”
“I genuinely loved my job and saw it as a long-term career, even if it didn’t come with traditional career benefits.”
“I was responsible for ensuring dishes were clean, but I was not the only person working in that area.”
“The bowl may have been washed and put away by someone on a previous shift.”
“I tend to be very particular about dishes and usually soak and hand-wash items before they go into the dishwasher, which is why this caught me completely off guard.”
“Many of my coworkers are also my friends.”
“I was friends with them prior to the job and was the one to recruit them, and I feel guilty taking something the kitchen uses, especially because the company is slow to replace equipment (our dishwasher was once out for over a year and a half) and often expects staff to work without proper resources.”
“Also, state and inspectors know this.”
“They show up, take notes on what’s out of service and how we are ‘making it work’ without it and move on.”
“For context, our team was covering a private-pay building whose kitchen is out of service, and this is where the incident occurred.”
“It’s essentially a two-hour job on its own (longer if you have to cook, obviously, I’m referring to the aide part), yet we were expected to complete both that and our main facility duties within an eight-hour shift while somehow still taking a 30-minute break.”
“Dayshift was responsible for 2 meals and nightshift 1.”
“I was working the day shift.”
“The workload has been intense for a while.”
“After thinking it over and reading the comments, I’ve decided to contact my manager and assistant manager to arrange picking up my mixer or having a friend grab it.”
“I don’t think I’m emotionally ready to walk back into the building yet.”
“The workplace was a safe space for me during some very dark times, so this has been overwhelming.”
“Right now, I’m focused on applying for unemployment and submitting job applications.”
“I’m hoping something comes through quickly since the sudden loss of income has been stressful.”
“I am paycheck to paycheck as the only income for my family, and for my previous one, I was out due to COVID, which they don’t cover.”
“I was only on schedule for 3 days for this one.”
“My lights are already overdue, so I am living on prayer.”
“I really appreciate you all for commenting and sharing your thoughts and advice!”
“I’ll probably edit in later when I get it back to let you all know.”
“Thank you!”
Returning to a place of work after being fired will always be awkward, no matter the circumstances.
Even so, that shouldn’t stop anyone, including the OP, from retrieving what is rightfully theirs.
Here’s hoping she gets it back and also lands a job that gets her back on her feet.