When staying at other people’s homes awkward moments can arise.
People may have to follow rules they disagree with.
And be put in situations that they are uncomfortable.
But if you’re living rent free, payment may have to come from somewhere.
Case in point…
Redditor absolutirony wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to babysit my brother’s kids?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My brother and his wife have two toddlers aged 3 and 2.”
“Due to a recent divorce and financial difficulties I’ve been living with my brother and his wife for the past couple of months.”
“His wife is not a fan of me staying with them but she tolerates my presence for the sake of my brother as I can tell.”
“That though doesn’t stop her from ordering me around the house and assigning me things to do as if I’m her personal servant.”
“My brother defends her treating me like that and claims I should do my part too.”
“I already do.”
“But he claims that I don’t do enough as a person who lives here too.”
“To the point.”
“My brother’s wife had a horrible stomach ache the other day and my brother wanted to take her to the doctor.”
“They asked me to watch the kids for a couple of hours until they come back and I refused.”
“I said I don’t want to have this responsibility and that they should either take the kids with them, or call an ambulance so his wife can go to the hospital and he can stay with the kids or call our parents or her parents for help.”
“My brother said ‘but you’re right here and we are in urgent need please.'”
“I refused again. I said not my kids, not my problem.”
“They ended up taking the kids and driving them to my parents until they came back.”
“My parents called me and said I was being ridiculous for refusing to help.”
“I reminded them how I’m not responsible for these kids and I don’t have to be.”
‘We had an argument about it and they said my brother is very pissed and I should be in my knees apologizing to him and his wife when they return.”
“They came home and my brother told me I have two days to pack my stuff and find somewhere else to live.”
“Because he’s done with me being a parasite in his own house and villainizing him or his wife for expecting the slightest help and contribution around the house.”
“And that I crossed the line when in time of emergency I put my ego above their need for help.”
“I defended myself and I honestly don’t believe I did something wrong.”
“I said they have the right to disagree but they have to respect my thoughts and feelings on this as well.”
“He insisted I have two days to either get my s**t together or leave.”
“I called my parents crying about what my brother and his wife were about to do and they sided with them and said I had it coming.”
“Was I really an AH?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“Since you’re living at Bro’s and S[ister] I[n] L[aw]’s house due to financial difficulties, I’m assuming you’re living rent free.”
“Do you contribute to anything at all financially?”
“The least you can do is watch their kids DUE TO A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.”
“Yeah, I’d say you had it coming. YTA.” ~ EmeraldBlueZen
“Notice OP says they do their part but doesn’t actually say what they contribute to the household – rent, bills, housework, etc.”
“But the brother is saying they don’t provide even the slightest help and the SIL is ‘assigning’ them tasks that OP presumably doesn’t do or doesn’t think they should do.”
“Like what OP?”
“Like cleaning or vacuuming or dusting or any of the other things an adult household member should be doing?”
“Unreliable narrator. I don’t think OP lifts a finger in this house. YTA.” ~ Distinct-Inspector-2
“I know it’s a major assumption, but it sounds like OP doesn’t even have a job.”
“Maybe it’s just the way it was written, but it sounds like they’re home all the time and usually in a situation like this I would expect work excuses.”
“It sounds like brother and SIL were already fed up with OP and this was the straw that broke the camels back.”
“YTA, OP. You sound like a very selfish person.”
“When I stayed with my sibling after leaving a bad relationship, I cooked, I cleaned, I babysat, I did laundry, all while I worked full time.”
“It was the least I could do for my sibling since they made room for me in their home on short notice and allowing me to stay rent free until I could get back on my feet.” ~ tinypurplepiggy
“Seriously. You don’t want to help out your brother and watch your niece and nephew during an emergency, whilst LIVING WITH THEM, you can sort yourself out.”
“They may not be your monkeys, but you are definitely not their circus.”
“Go leach off another family member.”
“Oh, and your SIL was probably not bossing you around, but asking you to contribute in the home, you know, like normal people who are sharing a home do.”
“If I were your brother, I would have kicked you out that same day. YTA.” ~ bvibviana
“They should have said the same about you when you needed a place to live – not my kid, not my problem.”
“They just woke up to your logic and now, you don’t like it?”
“YTA. Get what you give, my friend.”
“You dished it, now it is served to you cold!” ~ Few-Afternoon-6276
“The fact she’s on here to try and justify her actions and prove her brother wrong is very telling.”
“Especially since her brother gave the options of ‘you have two days to get your s**t together OR leave.'”
“The dude is still willing to be a good brother and let her stay if she pulls her head out of her arse instead she’s on the internet trying to be the victim.” ~ PlatypusTacos
“OP’s brother was nice to give him two days.”
“I would have come home and thrown OP’s stuff on the lawn and told him, ‘You’re not my kid, so not my problem.'”
“Instead of OP helping here and there and getting a free place to stay, now OP can work for 40 hours plus a week and barely be able to afford to live. Yay!”
“OP has to be an adult and have adult consequences! YTA.” ~ crystallz2000
“There was one when the roommate was begging OP to look after her child because she had to take her last exam for her medical qualification.”
“She had arranged a babysitter but babysitter had to cancel and no one else could cover.”
“OP said it was part of the agreement that OP would never have to look after the child to which roommate never did until that day.”
“Roommate even offered to pay OP and the child was old enough to entertain herself, go to the toilet etc.”
“Roommate was begging OP to help because it was her last exam and if she failed she needed to repeat the entire semester.”
“OP dug and said she’d leave the house if roommate left.”
“So she ended up not taking the exam.”
“I think OP was judged to be an A H in this case.” ~ nomad_l17
“YTA your living rent free and think you shouldn’t have to help around the house?”
“I get not watching their kids all the time but you didn’t even do that and this was an emergency.”
“You were being an unhelpful moocher and then crying to your parents makes you seems immature.” ~ Sfarsitulend
“Thanks for making this easy on us by waving your AH flag loud and proud.”
“Your brother and his wife allowed you to stay with them for months because it was convenient for you financially.”
“They asked you for your help during an emergency situation and you refused.”
“Interesting how when you needed help (a place to stay) they allowed you into their home (for MONTHS).”
“When they had a medical emergency, you couldn’t be bothered to help for HOURS.”
“YTA man and it’s so obviously the case.” ~ Ordinary-Choice771
“YTA. If you want to play the ‘not my kids, not my problem’ and refuse to help during an emergency, then they can play the ‘not our money issues, not our problem’ right back.”
“They gave you a home when you needed it.”
“You refused to help when they needed it while thinking you could continue to mooch off them.”
“You more than had it coming.” ~ missdannyalvz
“YTA. Absolutely. They take you into their home, and you can’t even watch the kids once so they can go to the doctor.”
“I would be ashamed to treat my sister the way you treat your brother. My God.” ~ Salz78
“YTA… and brought this on yourself.”
“Might be time for some reflection about why you’re going through all this.”
“That’s next level obnoxious behavior in my book.”
“You’d be gone by the time I got home, not two days later.” ~ Short-Classroom2559
“God I just love the juicy satisfaction of watching someone be hoisted by their own petard.”
“You are right, not your kids, not your problem.”
“Enjoy homelessness, where you won’t have to watch anyone’s kids. YTA.” ~ Objective-Elephant13
Well OP, Reddit really doesn’t seem to agree with your choices.
Hopefully you can sit down with your brother and SIL and hash this out peacefully.
Or maybe your parents can take you in.
Good luck.