Hiking is a favorite activity for many.
It can offer fabulous views, exciting trails, and it can be a very healthy form of exercise.
Winter hiking is especially popular.
Layers and layers of warm clothing are normally required.
Without layers, the cold can be bitter…
And so can the hikers.
Redditor Sure-Lemon6424 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to give my friend’s son my coat during a snowy hike?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This incident occurred a few days before Christmas, but my friend still hasn’t spoken to me, so I’m trying to determine if I was truly in the wrong.”
“I invited my friends to go on a winter hike.”
“The location is not far from our home and offers stunning views of the mountains.”
“Five women were going, including two who brought their children: Jane, who is 12, and Alex, who is 13.”
“When we all arrived at the parking lot before the hike, Alex’s mother insisted that he bundle up.”
“He was wearing shorts, Crocs, and a hoodie, claiming he wasn’t cold.”
“I believe he was trying to impress Jane.”
“Initially, I didn’t care much about the situation until we were halfway into the hike.”
“There was a designated sitting area where we planned to eat lunch.”
“At that point, everyone could sense that Alex was freezing, and it was also snowing lightly.”
“His mother was frustrated with him, reminding him that she had told him to wear a coat.”
“She took off her coat and wrapped it around him, but he shrugged it off, saying, ‘I’m not wearing a pink coat!'”
“Again, I didn’t really pay much attention to their argument.”
“I’m not a parent, and it wasn’t my business.”
“Then, the mother said, ‘OP, Alex wants to wear your coat because it’s black.’”
“I had the most gender-neutral coat there, I suppose.”
“It also goes down to my ankles, and since Alex and I are roughly the same height, it would have covered him.”
“I said no.”
“I was wearing warm clothing (thermals and a sweater), but if I removed it, I would have been cold.”
“She was upset and said, ‘He’s a child! Are you going to let a child sit here and freeze!’”
“I suggested that they walk back to their car and go home.”
“There was a shortcut right where we were that would have taken them directly to the parking lot in just 10-15 minutes.”
“The other people at the hike kept giving me disapproving glances and even said, ‘Oh, just let him wear it,’ all the while not offering their coats.”
“Eventually, Alex and his mother left. “
“The rest of the hike was filled with awkward silence.”
“Later, in our group chat, Alex’s mother posted a lengthy rant about how rude I was and that I would never understand what it was like being a mother.”
“I thought that after a few weeks, she would have moved on, but she hasn’t.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Was I in the wrong? AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“‘It’s incredibly irresponsible for a mother to not probably clothes her child for a winter hike, nor bring spare clothing despite knowing what he was wearing was inappropriate for a snowy hike.'”
“Put that in the groupchat, NTA.” ~ AspectNo1992
“For real.”
“You should see me leave the house with my kids.”
“My kids will tell me they don’t want a coat, and so I toss it in the car.”
“They don’t want gloves; they go in the school bag.”
“I will put an extra hand warmer in my pocket!”
“Also, if it’s cold but my kid didn’t like pink, I would tell him he’s obviously not cold enough.”
“If I’m feeling generous, I may ask OP if she would be up to wearing my coat and lending him hers, but then I’m still the one going cold.”
“I’m not asking my friend to sacrifice for my kid. My kids are also young enough that I might try to carry them in my coat for a few minutes to warm them up.”
“I would also probably take the shortcut back to the car at a sprint and grab his coat, and then come back dying of lung failure before asking OP to give up her coat.”
“So many potential solutions.” ~ knittymess
“Frankly, she’s a bad mom.”
“Not because she didn’t shlep a coat around for when her kid comes to his senses and wants a coat.”
“But because she has been shielding him so severely from any consequences.”
“This kid reached 13 entire years of age without a lick of sense in him?”
“And then she didn’t tell him FAFO?!?!?”
“WTF… my kid had this exact lesson learned when she was a toddler.”
“If she declines a jacket, fully aware of the weather, and decides not to bring one, ‘in case she changes her mind,’ then she will be cold.”
“And I sacrifice my sweater/jacket to her when the cold is unexpected!”
“But if she’s been warned, she chose to suffer.”
‘Bad parents wrap their child in bubble wrap, and then the kid becomes a problem for everyone else.”
“At his big age of 13, he knows damn well snow is cold. NTA.” ~ TheThiefEmpress
“NTA… as both a teacher and a parent, it’s important to let children learn from natural consequences sometimes.”
“Two people needed to learn a lesson that day, and they’re closely related.” ~ Disastrous-Assist-90
“100% this.”
‘If I’m bringing my nephews anywhere and they refuse to wear the suggested clothing, they’re told to bring along what was asked for, or we’ll be coming home when it’s needed, and we don’t have it.”
“Kids know when you don’t play.”
“That teen knows his mom will let him get what he wants in the end.”
“Trying to guilt an adult for her and her son’s dumb decisions is very telling.” ~ Serious-System4130
“NTA Frankly, his mother was negligent in taking him hiking dressed like that in the first place.”
I” would have told her that I wasn’t letting a child freeze; her inability to parent her child was doing that.” ~ Disastrous-Nail-640
“I’m a parent, and you’re NTA.”
“If the kid isn’t cold enough to wear a pink coat, he’s not actually cold.”
“Also, as a parent, I admit that there were several times my kid has tried to do something dumb like this, and I knew they would be unhappy, so I planned a ‘rescue’ option (like bringing the coat along myself).”
“Then you can help your child, but also relentlessly tease them about their lack of foresight so that the same mistake is not repeated.”
“That’s how kids learn.”
“If you know your kid is going to be cold and sad, purposefully leaving their coat behind is just bad parenting and kind of mean.”
“The kid in this situation is just going to be pissed off at his mother; he’s not going to learn that he should dress appropriately for the weather.” ~ Evening_Culture_42
“This mom had so many options.”
“She could’ve not let him go on the hike unless/until he dressed for the weather.”
“She could have let him learn from natural consequences and either turned back when he got cold or, as long as it wasn’t dangerously cold, let him freeze.”
“She could have packed his coat so it would be ready for him when he got cold.’
“At no point was taking someone else’s coat ever an option.”
“Frankly, the mom sounds selfish.”
“She clearly wanted to enjoy the hike and put that desire above her responsibility to parent him.”
“She also seems comfortable raising a boy with toxic masculinity (refusing to wear a coat to impress a girl, refusing to wear pink even if it meant being cold).”
“While he’s a kid and his behaviors make sense for his age, she’s reinforcing them rather than correcting them.”
“She doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to be friends with.” ~ conbird
“NTA. If he were that ‘freezing,’ he would have sucked it up and worn the pink coat.”
“Also, as the parent of a 5-year-old, when it’s really cold, and I think she is going to regret not having the coat she refused (or be in physical danger), I carry it for her.”
“Their lack of preparation does not constitute an emergency for you.” ~ Girl_Dinosaur
“Not the a**hole.”
“If the kid needed a coat, the kid’s mom should have given the kid hers.”
“And if the kid objected to the color, the Mom should have said, ‘tough s**t – wear it or stay cold.'”
“And the Mom should remember that the only reason the kid felt cold was that she didn’t step up before the hike and tell the kid,’ wear or carry your damn coat.'”
“So don’t feel bad – I suspect the Mom already knows all of this – but it is easier for her to think of you as the bad guy.” ~ No-Commission-8159
“NTA. Alex has an irresponsible mother.”
“When Alex refused to dress appropriately, that should have been the end of the day for him.” ~ suchalittlejoiner
“NTA. She’s a horrible parent for letting him leave the house in shorts and Crocs in winter, somewhere where it snows.”
“Florida would be one thing.”
“Call her out in the group chat for letting him leave like that.” ~ BuffaloRedshark
“NTA, the mom could have offered to trade coats, or asked if anyone else wanted to offer their coat up, or made the kid walk back and get his own coat, or made him wear the pink one.”
“Pink isn’t exclusively a girl’s color.” ~ UnhappyDay9147
“NTA. The kid and his mom learned a lesson.”
“He should have listened to his mom, and she should have made him wear his coat or wear hers.”
“She and her kid sound entitled if they think you should go child because of them.” ~ keesouth
Reddit has your back, OP.
This mother allowed her child to hike in shorts and Crocs?
How was he NOT going to freeze?
This is all on her.
Why did she not make him put on her coat?