You know how messy the dating scene can get. Sometimes two people are flirting, they start dating, everyone is going well, and then someone poops on someone else’s floor.
Wait. No, that’s weird, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
That was exactly how Redditor Signal-Ostrich5769 felt when she was at home visiting her parents alongside her boyfriend, who had seemed to be a great partner up to that point.
But when she woke up one morning to find out that he had pooped on her dad’s office floor because he “couldn’t hold it,” the Original Poster (OP) couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, let alone continue to date him.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because he s**t in my dad’s office?”
The OP just broke up with her boyfriend for possibly the strangest reason ever.
“I (22 Female) just broke up with my boyfriend (25 Male) because he took a s**t in my dad’s home office.”
“Yup, you read that right.”
One morning, the OP woke up to find herself in the weirdest situation.
“This weekend, my boyfriend of three months was visiting me at my parent’s house and I woke up to my mom coming into my room. My boyfriend was in the shower.”
“She asked me to come into my dad’s (otherwise VERY clean; he’s a bit of a clean freak) office and proceeded to show me a MASSIVE S**T.”
“At first glance, I thought it was a dog poop because my parents have two dogs. But this thing was way too big to be from their two small dogs.”
“My mom then asked me if I thought it could have been my boyfriend. Obviously, neither my parents nor I would do this.”
The OP’s boyfriend had some explaining to do.
“I walked back to my room, and my boyfriend got out of the shower, and immediately, he started apologizing to me and telling me about the poop situation.”
“He said he went in there to grab a paper he printed and an overwhelming feeling of having to poop came over him. He said he couldn’t wait and had to poop right there.”
“He got right in the shower because he got some on himself and said he was going to clean it up after, and he was profusely apologizing.”
The OP couldn’t bring herself to accept her boyfriend’s apology.
“I literally do not understand, because the bathroom is right down the hall from my dad’s office.”
“I appreciate the honesty from him, but I cannot understand in what f**king world you just s**t on the floor of someone’s house?”
“I broke up with him on the spot because I was so disgusted and I couldn’t even look at him after all of this, let alone talk about it with my parents.”
“I told him to leave, and since then, he has been blowing up my phone, apologizing, and begging me to reconsider, but I cannot even cope with the fact he s**t on my parents’ floor.”
The OP could not make her boyfriend’s behavior make sense.
“Since then, I’ve been trying to go back through everything that happened while visiting my parents’ house.”
“My dad and my boyfriend DID get into a small fight the night before. When we talked about the poop thing, he didn’t mention the fight with my dad, but I’m literally spiraling, trying to figure this s**t out, like was it some weird play at my dad…? I have no f**king clue.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some channeled Malcolm from Jurassic Park and said the boyfriend’s explanation was “one big pile of s**t.”
“So, your dad is a clean freak, and your (now ex) boyfriend had gotten into a fight the night before.”
“Yeah, he did it on purpose and tried to pretend it was an accident, which, even then, doesn’t make complete sense, but it makes more sense than his supposed claim that he couldn’t wait.”
“Don’t date this guy again, and probably don’t speak to him again, either, OP. NTA.” – Thistime232
“He’s a walking red flag. Or in this case, a brown one.”
“If it wasn’t diarrhea, but solid logs, then he either needs to see a medical specialist about his bowel movement issues and get a full colonoscopy, OR he s**t in your dad’s office on purpose as a spiteful move after a disagreement last night.”
“Either way, not worth sticking around after three months.” – UncleNedisDead
“I hate to go there, but he took the time to take his pants off.”
“I’m on an oral chemo medication that causes, let’s say, ‘issues,’ sometimes… I’ve sacrificed leggings and undies to the chemo gods… I’ve NEVER pulled everything down and s**t on the floor.”
“Also… and this is so gross, but we have dogs, too… Because you even CONSIDERED that it might be from the dogs, it sounds like what you found in the office was ‘pick up-able,’ as we call it in my house when we’re talking about the dogs’ tummy troubles.”
“If it was a real emergency, it wouldn’t have been pick up-able. It would have been an explosion on the floor after going through a pants filter.”
“OP, this guy has serious weird issues. The mask (and the pants) is off. NTA, and I would recommend blocking him and never speaking to him again.” – more_like_borophyll_
“I have had GI (gastrointestinal) issues after multiple rounds of surgery for gallstones. You don’t drop your pants and let loose. You clench as best you can, and maybe you have to clean up a trail or at least your pants, but you don’t just squat and go.”
“Further, he took a shower because he got some on himself, but he was going to wait until after his shower to clean it up? I’m not buying that. Clean it up in case you get it on your hands and then shower. None of his story makes sense.” – MarbleousMel
“Even if he did have a sense of urgency, he could have cleaned it up before going into the shower. There are other things he could have done, as someone has said, he could have put paper down.”
“He had an argument with OP’s dad, so I think it was done on purpose. Unfortunately for the boyfriend, the mom found it before the dad. OP is definitely NTA.” – Embarrassed-Lab-8375
A few tried to reason the situation out and wondered if the boyfriend had health concerns.
“So, my jaw is still on the floor. I mean, I could understand if it were uncontrollable diarrhea and he was trying to make his way to the bathroom but this is not the case. Was there not a trash can he could have gone in? And why bring it to your attention instead of cleaning it before anyone finds out (then confess to just you later)?”
“I mean, you can text him and ask him if there is more information, but d**n, if I had that big of an emergency I’d be looking for a freaking Walmart sack or something so I don’t just soil someone’s home.” – intrigued_eyes
“I mean, if he clearly was having stomach issues, I would be more understanding but it sounds like one big dump and he was fine. Couldn’t even lay some printer paper down?”
“I mean, embarrassing things like this can, do, and have happened, but man, did he f**k up.”
“I mean, you can text him and ask him if there is more or something, but I’m more weirded out than grossed out. I’m still grossed out but the whole thing is odd.” – jfb01
“I’m sorry, but yes, fecal urgency is a thing! But you do you. My ex literally pooped himself before, and it wasn’t his fault. I don’t know how many times I have near misses. People with gastrointestinal issues have this as a common problem.”
“You may be disgusted and embarrassed, but so is your ex-boyfriend. If anything, tell him he should see a doctor if it’s becoming a frequent occurrence. NTA.” – Strange_Zebra_6335
“As someone with a medical condition, I have s**t up a washroom, like biohazard kind of s**t.”
“I can see an accident happening. Even when I have done that, I left my pants on and created a bigger mess because of that.”
“That said. I don’t blame you for dumping him.”
“Also, something DOES feel off here. Like, who doesn’t at least look around for a trash can, paper, something? At least in that case, they tried.” – Federal-Ferret-970
All other concerns aside, some simply couldn’t see themselves stooping to this level.
“I mean, if I couldn’t make it to the bathroom, I would go in my pants before even thinking of defecating on the floor in my own home, let alone someone else’s.” – PhilsFanDrew
“I have severe Crohn’s disease, and I TOTALLY know what it’s like to not being able to hold in…”
“I still have NEVER s**t on the floor!! My pants while running to the bathroom, ABSOLUTELY!! Dropping my pants and s**tting on the floor of the room I’m in, and then leaving it to shower because I got some on me, absolutely not!!” – ASweetTweetRose
“…and if I somehow DID s**t on the floor in someone else’s house, you’d better believe I’d clean that up before cleaning myself up. ESPECIALLY if it was my girlfriend’s parents’ house, and doubly especially if it was in her father’s office.”
“Who the h**l thinks, ‘Well, it’s the middle of the morning and someone is bound to come in here and see this soon, better leave it completely alone and not even try to hide or clean it while I take a shower,’ and then just walks away?”
“I just can’t fathom the situation being the way he described it. Betting that this was some kind of ‘f**k you’ move towards the father because of the argument the previous night.” – ThrowawayAdvice1800
“It’s the kind of solution a character in a Farrelly Brothers movie would come up with.”
“If I was so desperate to s**t that I couldn’t make it five paces to the toilet, then I can promise you that s**t wouldn’t be solid. You wouldn’t have been finding a chunky brown log upon the Persian rug in Daddy’s mahogany-appointed study. You’d have just been met with a greeny-brown puddle of toxic bum drizzle.”
“Solid s**ts can always be held in. If you can pinch it off, you can hold the whole thing in. Everyone knows that.”
“This turd was deliberate.”
“OP, your boyfriend made the decision to s**t in your daddy’s office. Maybe it was some kind of dirty protest. Maybe it was a bizarre attempt to establish dominance. But either way, opening that particular orifice in any given office is always deliberate.” – SinisterDexter83
“NTA. Every so often, I find one of these posts that is PG enough that I can read it to my child who gets over dramatic on reactions. This was one of them.”
“His response was… silence… and then, ‘Why did he poop in the office?'”
“I explained the need to go and the excuse of not being able to make it.”
“Kiddo goes, ‘Yeah, no. That’s not true! He could make it to the bathroom if he tried. DID HE EVEN TRY?!?'”
“Even the nine-year-old knows your ex is a liar.” – Emotional_Fan_7011
It’s safe to say that breaking up with someone for dirtying their dad’s office was not on the AITAH subReddit’s 2024 Bingo card.
They simply could not fathom how the boyfriend had done this by accident or how he came to the conclusion that this was the way to handle things. There was clearly more at play here, and only three months in the relationship, it was way too far above the OP’s pay grade.