Bringing a pet into one’s life requires a considerable amount of love and commitment.
As they are living and breathing creatures who need to be fed, loved and nurtured.
Even so, there are many people who tend to raise an eyebrow when people treat their pets, be they dogs, cats, fish or snakes, as if they were a flesh and blood family member.
The boyfriend of Redditor throwawayscraps didn’t appear to have an issue with her relationship with her dog.
Even inviting the both of them over for a hike, followed by dinner at his house.
But this dinner quickly turned sour when the original poster (OP) gave something to her dog without her boyfriend’s permission, resulting in both of them being asked to leave.
Wondering if she had in fact done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for feeding my dog table scraps from a dinner my boyfriend made for us?”
The OP explained how her boyfriend did not appreciate her actions following a fairly lavish dinner he cooked for her.
“I(24 F[emale]) have been dating Jay(28 M[ale]) for four months.”
“He is handsome, smart, funny, well-educated, has an awesome job, and is a sweetheart.”
“Sunday he had a whole day planned for us.”
“We were going to walk a nature trail and then go back to his place for dinner he was making.”
“I was so excited because it was going to be the first time I’d be at his house.”
“Since we were hiking he said I could bring my dog Shelby with us.”
“He made us a roast and some vegetables for dinner.”
“I finished my plate before Jay did and took it to the kitchen.”
“There was still about half the roast left and it was close to Shelby’s dinner time so I took half of the half of roast and some still raw vegetables from the fridge to put on a plate for Shelby.”
“I was carrying the plate to the back door with Shelby to feed her outside and Jay asked me what I was doing.”
“I told him feeding Shelby.”
“Jay said something like ‘Well that’s not dog food’.”
“Jay knows I mainly feed Shelby a raw diet.”
“I opened the door to put the plate down for Shelby and Jay got up, took the plate away from her, went to the kitchen and came back with it wrapped up in tinfoil and told me to leave.”
“His excuse was that he made dinner for me and him, not me, him, and my dog and that I should’ve asked before I helped myself since he would’ve used his leftovers.”
“I did leave but not before telling him that he made that meal for us so I could do with some of it as I pleased and he knew damn well how I feed Shelby.”
“I tried talking to my friend about it later that night but she said Jay was right to be upset but this friend has never really approved of how I treat my own dog so I feel like she was probably a bit biased and the wrong person to ask.”
“AITA for just feeding my dog like I normally would?”
She does NOT get restaurant food daily, I eat out maybe 4 times a month.”
“If what I eat is dog safe or the restaurant makes food for dogs on request, THEN I bring some home for her.”
“Shelby’s daily meals are a bit of brown rice, raw vegetables, and ground chicken hearts and beef livers.”
“The hearts and livers are boiled just enough to kill bacteria and that is all with the approval of Shelby’s vet.”
“I asked Jay how he prepared the roast so I could know if it was safe to give her.”
“That’s also why I got her fresh, unused vegetables from the fridge.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed with the OP’s boyfriend that her actions were rather insensitive, with pretty much everyone finding her to be the a**hole.
Everyone agreed that she should have at least asked her boyfriend before cutting off a sizable portion of the roast, which very few people considered a plate of “scraps”.
“Lmao you’re clinging to the idea of feeding your dog a raw diet to deflect.”
“Please think objectively about what you did.”
“You took a sizable portion of roast, which isn’t raw, and then went into the fridge for Jay’s groceries to feed your dog.”
“He made you dinner.”
“He didn’t say ‘help yourself to all the food in my house for your dog’.”
“Raw vegetables in the fridge are not table scraps, neither was the pot roast directly from the pan.”
“Table scraps are the good left on your plate, what was uneaten of your portion at the table.”
“Maybe he had other vegetables in his refrigerator so he could make himself food later in the week like?”
“What even were you thinking?”
“If it’s not clear, YTA.”
“Please learn to be aware that other humans exist in this world not simply to fill your main character internal narrative.”- Notwastingtimeiswear
“YTA.”
“The fact you didn’t consider ASKING Jay, didn’t consider what HE may have wanted to use his leftovers for, and just assume ‘he knew damn well how I feed Shelby’ after 4 months is a bit entitled.”
“Also, a responsible dog owner brings their own food for their dog if they know they’ll have dinner elsewhere.”- imusto74
“YTA.”
“It would have taken 5 seconds to ask.”
“A quarter of a roast is not table scraps, you’re also the AH for misrepresenting the situation.”
“Just because he knows the bonkers way you choose to feed your dog doesn’t mean he wants to spend his hard earned money and effort to feed him the same way.”- thoracicbunk
“Bruh, a quarter of the roast isn’t table scraps.”
“I thought you were going to let the dog lick your plate or something.”
“YTA obviously and can I borrow your bf?”
“Lol.”- throwaway0rat
“YTA.”
“You did not feed your dog table scraps.”
“You took half of the leftover meat from the meal to feed to your dog.”- 4games1
“YTA.”
“You did not feed your dog table scraps.”
“You took half of the leftover meat from the meal to feed to your dog.”- 4games1
“YTA.”
“For not having asked first.”
“A quarter of a roast is not table scraps, that’s a whole meal.”
“Idk about your boyfriend, but when I cook meals that size I typically plan to have leftovers and would be equally upset if my wife just took half the leftovers and tossed them to the dog without running it by me first.”
“This is completely and entirely a valid reason to be upset at this situation.”
“Regardless of what you feel the meal he made for you guys was for, you should have asked.”-JBagginsKK
“I say this as someone who feeds their dog safe table scraps all the time, YTA.”
“Roast is expensive and for him to have bought and prepared this meal for you to enjoy and then you just put probably $10 of meat on a plate for the dog without asking is ridiculous.”-HauntingAccomplice
A contrite OP later returned to accept that she may have made a mistake in feeding her dog her boyfriend’s food, though stood firm in how she feeds her dog, while also offering an update on her relationship and her dating life going forward.
“I accept that Im the AH for what I said and did to Jay.”
“Some of these responses were harsh but I see now how and why I was entitled.”
“Thanks to people that responded to the actual issue.”
“Others going on about her diet, thanks for the concern?”
“But I came here to ask about Jay.”
“Not get into a debate about dog foods.”
“Shelby’s been on her diet for 6 years and is a healthy and active puppo, that’s all I and my vet need to know.”
“As for Jay, I apologized to him and he did accept my apology but he broke it off.”
“He said it was the last straw for him over me doing things without asking first.”
“He has talked to me about taking things off his plate or his drink without asking before.”
“I’ve tried to do better but keep slipping up.”
“I didn’t realize I was that bad about it so I’m going to work on myself for the next guy.”
“For people that said not going to his place for 4 months was a red flag, that was my decision that he respected.”
“I don’t want to go to someone’s house or them know where I live the first few months of dating and getting to know each other.”-
The OP certainly has every right to feed and raise her dog as she so chooses.
But she should have stopped for a moment to consider the time and effort taken by Jay to cook her that meal before feeding a significant amount to her dog.
Thankfully, it looks as if she will be much more cognizant in her next relationship.