Friends are incredibly important, and one way that some will stay connected is through getaway trips.
But sometimes jealous partners will try to get in the way, as pointed out in the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor throwaway8001349 was furious with his girlfriend for hiding something important of his to prevent him from going on a guys’ trip.
But when his girlfriend accused him of invalidating her feelings, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was being too hard on her.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to pay for a new prosthesis?”
The OP was in an accident that he was worried would change his life.
“I (24 Male, from the Philippines) had an auto accident over 2 years ago that resulted in a left leg knee amputation.”
“I thought that would be the end of my active lifestyle. I loved all kinds of sports as a kid and I still do.”
“I had a very hard time adjusting to my new normal, my parents were able to get me a prosthetic leg that allowed me to get back to running and going on trips with my friends like we always do every summer.”
The OP was planning to go on a guys’ weekend vacation with his friends.
“The guys were planning an RV trip on the weekend, we had already chosen a destination and were planning on spending some time out in nature and getting away from stress.”
“My girlfriend asked if she could come along.”
“I told her no, this is a guy’s trip.”
“All my buddies’ girlfriends wanted to go, but they were firm and put their foot down.”
“My girlfriend laughed at me for this and then tried to convince me to let her come because she was feeling stressed out from being at home 24 hours alone.”
“But I already made up my mind. I wasn’t going to ruin the trip just because she wants to be on a guys’ trip.”
“I promised her a trip when I get back, but she got upset and didn’t like the idea.”
The OP’s girlfriend decided to make her own vacation plans.
“Later on, before I went to sleep, I took my prosthesis off as I do every night.”
“This is my second prosthesis, I’ve already completed a wearing schedule during the first year and had to get another prosthesis to accommodate any physical changes I had.”
“I woke up in the morning and I couldn’t find my prosthesis. I looked where I put it but it was gone.”
“I asked my girlfriend, who was doing heavy cleaning around the place, and she said she didn’t see it.”
“I was confused because it was near my bed. I asked her to stop being childish and playing games and give back my prosthesis because I knew she took it.”
What happened was worse than just hiding the OP’s prosthetic leg.
“She’s a bad liar and couldn’t even deny it. She said she wanted to hide it so that I won’t go on that trip and leave her alone.”
“I got mad at her for this. I was stunned to find my prosthesis hidden underneath an auto part in the garage.”
“It had been damaged. It was placed in a position where it had a crack. It was obvious it no longer would function properly. I mean, I could still wear it but can’t put my whole weight on it cause it would break.”
The OP demanded compensation from his girlfriend.
“I yelled at her and showed her what she did. She said she didn’t mean it.”
“I told her she did mean it because she was being childish and jealous over a trip and now she caused me 7,000 dollars worth of damage.”
“I told her she ruined everything, that she owed me a new one, and that she needed to pay for a new one.”
“She got mad and left.”
“I basically had to use my old crutches, and it felt absolutely horrible.”
“I called the guys and told them I wasn’t coming, it’s been a few days, and she’s mad that I’m still asking her to pay for a new prosthesis and called me an a**hole for not apologizing and preferring a ‘plastic leg’ over her.”
“I had to call my parents today to tell them.”
“They told me she should at least help pay half the expense of a new prosthesis since she caused damage to it, and then consider my relationship with her.”
“Have I been an a**hole to her?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the girlfriend was incredibly controlling of the OP.
“The leg is not just an expensive piece of plastic, it is part of OP’s body and he needs it to move. Destroying it is equally bad as damaging someone’s ‘real’ leg (although it hurts a lot less, fortunately).”
“Furthermore, she ruined his trip on purpose, just because she couldn’t come along. This is extremely childish!”
“NTA OP!” – poeza-fluffy
“He’s not choosing a piece of property over her, it’s his literal leg! Just because it’s not flesh, doesn’t mean it’s not as important.”
“This is emotionally abusive as f**k and controlling. I’m envisioning a metaphorical version of Cathy Bates, smashing his leg with a sledgehammer. Sue her for damages and leave.” – ms_s_11
“NTA. She’s being extremely controlling and refusing to pay for something she broke is a huge red flag.”
“You’ve been way nicer to her about this than I would be. She should be begging forgiveness not accusing you of being an AH.” – C0pper-an0de
“NTA. Dude sue her for damaging your property and putting you at risk.” – Cheap-Anxiety-518
“I mean… she broke his leg. To keep him from going somewhere. SHE BROKE HIS LEG AND GASLIT HIM ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF HIS LEG. That’s almost past abuse to full-on torture. There are mafia guys who would call that overkill.” – WhiskeyPixie24
“You are not the AH and should be considering a lawyer and dumping your girlfriend. She’s childish and manipulative. It just shows she does something wrong breaks your prosthetic and then gets mad at you for not apologizing to HER?”
“In what world does that make sense? The fact that she felt she had to stoop to those levels shows how insecure she is that she gets upset you going out of town without her.” – italy2986
Others agreed the girlfriend needed to pay for a replacement prosthesis.
“I’m seriously thinking OP needs to ask for her leg in return and when she says no be like, ‘I can’t believe you would pick a piece of meat over me!'”
“Though she probably would not catch on; that is how ridiculous she sounds. NTA.” – venusiansailorscout
“Yeah, no don’t settle for half. She owes you 7k for a new f**king leg.”
“Doesn’t matter if you have to sue to get the money. You shouldn’t be out thousands of dollars because your GF was acting like she’s 12.”
“I’ll be honest, I thought 7k was pretty cheap considering some of them are 20k+.”
“And what kind of bulls**t logic is ‘If I can’t go, you can’t go’?” – Millenials_RuinedIt
“There’s also all of the long-term expenses due to him not being able to wear the prosthetic. You can’t just stop wearing it on the normal schedule. The residual limb will change shape and it takes time, and often several refittings, to get everything back into shape and fitted properly again.”
“Not to mention the pain and suffering of having to use mobility aids that cause other problems. And any skin break down or pain from refitting the prosthetic.” – BMagg
“SUE HER. You wouldn’t question suing a stranger for this s**t. She gets no exception. Every penny and more needs to come back to you.” – S3xySouthernB
“Dude. she HID your leg to keep you from leaving the house. Is she Kathy Bates from ‘Misery’?!”
“She’s acting like your prosthetic isn’t an expensive tool that allows you mobility. She’s gaslighting you by trying to downplay the leg’s importance (JUST a plastic leg??? Seriously???) AND she’s trying to make it all about her? SHE damaged your freaking leg and wanted YOU to apologize?”
“NTA. Look at this field of red flags and run.”
“And possibly take her to small claims. I’ve seen prosthetic legs, they’re pretty sturdy. Either she broke it on purpose or she was being EXTREMELY careless with it.” – TropicalRobot
“Calling her manipulative and childish is going too easy on her. She’s nutty as a fruitcake. I seriously cannot believe that someone would do something as repulsive as this just because she felt jealous over the fact that her boyfriend is leaving her out of the fun.”
“AND she has the nerve to refuse to pay for the damage she caused and also demand an apology for the names she was rightfully called? Has she got no sense of decency or shame??” – high_on_ducks
The subReddit was completely appalled at the abusive behavior the OP’s girlfriend had exhibited, especially over something as simple as a guys’ weekend and something as severe as damaging one of his limbs.
Not only did the subReddit agree that the OP needed to press for the full cost of the new prosthesis, rather than half of the cost as the OP’s parents advised, but they absolutely insisted that the OP not stay in such a relationship for a moment longer, given the extent of her behavior already.