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Sober Woman Stunned After Friends Want Her To Split $2k Bar Tab During Bachelorette Party

A group of women clinking wine glasses.
Hispanolistic/Getty Images

There’s very little that brings the mood down at a night out with friends than when it comes time to settle the bill.

Sometimes, everyone just decides to split the bill evenly, as it’s the easiest thing to do, even if some people are paying considerably more than they actually owe.

However, those with tight purses tend to make sure they don’t spend a cent more than what they ordered, resulting in a long, agonizing dissection of who owes what.

Thankfully, in this modern age there are apps that make dividing a bill much easier than it once was.

Sadly, this still doesn’t guarantee a drama free evening.

A recent Redditor recently joined a group of friends for a bachelorette party, which proved to cost a pretty penny.

Unfortunately, the group ended up getting their wires crossed when it came to payment, resulting in the original poster (OP) being asked to pay far more than she thought she owed.

Complicating matters even further, not all of the OP’s friends appreciated the fact that she refused to pay for anything other than what she, herself, partook in.

Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing to pay ‘my fair share’ of drinks when I don’t drink?”

The OP explained why she felt the need to stand her ground when it came time to settle the bachelorette party bills:

“We had a bachelorette at Vegas last weekend and hit up a steakhouse and drinks at the club.”

“The shows we visited were all on our own cards and so was the steakhouse but my friend put her card down for buying drinks and appetizers at the club.”

“I don’t drink, I haven’t drank since college (I’m 32 now) and all my friends know this.”

“I had a custom mocktail which cost $20-25 and a sparkling water.”

“We agreed beforehand to split the bill but I took that to mean food (we had appetizers) and not that I would be required to pay for drinks.”

“The other girls did order 2 champagne bottles along with cocktails.”

“Then we got back home and I got a Venmo request for $470 which I was shocked by.”

“I called my friend to ask what the breakdown was and they said it was split.”

“I said it was quite a bit as I remembered we ordered 4 appetizers that were $30-40 each so my share of that shouldn’t be that high.”

“She got annoyed and told me we agreed to split the bill and I said I did but only for the appetizer.”

“She said she didn’t take photos of the bill and now has no idea what anyone ordered so I should agree to pay my share.”

“I said I didn’t drink so the only thing that’s my share is the mocktail.”

“She said everyone was pretty wasted so it was hard to determine who drank what and since I didn’t keep track I should just pay for it.”

“By my calculations I owe about $60-70 but since I didn’t keep the receipts she is insisting I pay the whole $470.”

“I’m very unhappy with the situation and told another friend about this.”

“She acknowledged I owe way less than what I’m being told to pay but said out of the girls I clearly had the best job and 2 of the friends were living with their parents and working nearing min wage I should just pay and call it even.”

“I’m feeling like I got fleeced because my flights and hotels weren’t even as expensive as this one night out.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was somewhat divided on whether or not the OP was the a**hole for refusing to pay her requested share of the bill.

Many agreed that the OP was justified in refusing to pay for the champagne, not only because it was expensive, but also because her group knew she was sober and wouldn’t drink any of it, even if some did express that the OP should have made this clear with her friends before going out.


“If she is unwilling to readjust for the alcohol without hard numbers just call the place and request an itemized receipt be sent to your email.”- starbiebarbie99


“As a non-drinker outside of the occasional glass of wine, I firmly believe bar tabs should be separate from food.”

“If people what to get their drink on, it’s fine and dandy, it’s unreasonable to expect non-drinkers to foot the bill and subsidize their bill.”

“If it was a bachelorette you may consider chipping in a bit to cover the bride but not $470.”

“Oh heck, no!”- Peony-Pony


“Splitting works if everyone shared everything including alcohol or everyday drank equally.”

“In your specific trip, you were literally subsidizing other people by being asked to pay equally.”

“Also, I don’t care that two live at home with parents.”

“If they can’t afford to pay, they shouldn’t have ordered beyond their means.”

“Here’s the issue: if you don’t pay, you might be uninvited to the wedding or you might end up being made to feel very uncomfortable, even ostracized, at the wedding.”

“So if you’re ok knowing that either of those possibilities will likely come to fruition, you do you.”

“I personally would not pay.”

“I also would not care if this ruined friendships.”

“Because only a bunch of AHs would ever dream of making someone help pay for their drinks.”

“A few cocktails is one thing but bottles of champagne territory suggests they were taking advantage at that point.”- archetyping101

“Ha ha ha SOoooOo NTA.”

“Don’t listen to their malarkey.”

“It’s financial abuse under the guise of being all tee-hee about events.”

“Source: A raging alcoholic yet I’d never f*ck over a friend to save on what I pour down my gullet.”

“They are being willfully ignorant because their champagne tastes don’t match their vending machine budget.”- elegantsweatshirt


“You definitely do not owe anywhere near half a grand.”

“Pay what you think you owe and that’s it.”

“If they don’t like it then too bad.”

“They’re being ridiculous and trying to take advantage of you; don’t let them!”- StonewallBrigade21

Others didn’t think anyone came out looking particularly good in this situation, feeling that everyone needed to be clearer and more upfront about who would pay for what before any food and drink was ordered:

“For the fact that this was a bachelorette party and in VEGAS – I think you needed to be a LOT more clear and upfront at the start over what you were willing to pay for.”

“Vegas is going to be expensive, and bachelorette parties often split at least the brides portion.”

“So even if YOU don’t drink, I do think you need to be willing to help cover the brides portion.”

“I do think it’s fair to ask that you not be expected to split the entire alcohol tab, but I would over to cover a split of the food, the brides drinks, and of course your mocktail.”

“But really- NONE of this should be surprising and you should have made more of an attempt upfront.”

“ESH.”- Goalie_LAX_21093


“You handled this poorly.”

“I say this as someone who rarely drinks (and doesn’t eat meat, so often can’t eat half the shared apps).”

“When I agree to split the bill – it means the bill will be split evenly.”

“No one is sitting there, running the math on who owes what.”

“That is not splitting the bill.”

“That’s ‘everyone pays what they owe’.”

“A very different concept.”

“It’s annoying and it’s extra work, and if you are the one necessitating it, then you are the one who needs to handle it.”

“You should have said something from the start.”

“You should not have agreed to split the bill.”

“You should have asked the server to put the apps on a separate bill from the alcohol.”



“Instead, you expected the girl handling a bill drunkenly to calculate exactly what you consumed to determine your amount, then split the bill amongst the rest of them.”

“It also isn’t clear what your group was doing regarding the bride.”

“Every bachelorette party I have been to, the bride does not pay.”

“So the bill would be split amongst the other girls, NOT including the bride.”

“If that was the case for your night out, then your estimate on what you owe excludes any payment for the bride’s portion.”

“Do I think the other girl should accept it when you now say you do not want to pay that huge amount?”


“They were the ones getting reckless and ordering very expensive alcohol, and that bill is on them in the end.”

“But it is on YOU to track down the bill from the restaurant and figure out an accurate assessment of what you owe (including tax, tip and potentially the bride’s portion).”

“It was not this girl’s responsibility, in the middle of the club while drunk, after you agreed to split the bill.”- ImaginaryAnts

The OP later returned with an update, sharing how she decided to handle the situation:

“Thanks for your advice.”

“I got the bill and I owe $81 including tip.”

“The bill is $470 split 5 ways but the 2 bottles are over $500 each which is insane.”

“We didn’t agree to split the bride’s share but I texted the bride to let her know I’ve covered my share of her portion.”

“I sent $240 to the girl and sent her the receipt that I got to prove that I paid my portion and 1/4 of the bride’s.”

“She hasn’t responded so I hope that is that.”

It is a bit alarming that any of the OP’s friends would expect her to pay for alcohol, particularly very expensive champagne, when they know she doesn’t drink.

Even so, as the OP did agree to “split the bill” before the festivities commenced, it’s not difficult to see how the water got muddied.

One can only assume that the OP will make sure that on future outings, she will make sure she is crystal-clear as to what “splitting the bill” means.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a very good chance indeed that a group outing with this friend group might not be in the cards for quite some time.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.