Gender reveal parties have really become quite a divisive topic these days.
There are already so many parties surrounding a child’s arrival.
Why add to the drama?
Case in point…
Redditor Alittlespice- wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for ‘ruining’ my friends gender reveal?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (27 F[emale]) friend (29 F) is pregnant.”
“She wanted to do a gender reveal.”
“So at her 20-week ultrasound, she got the ultrasound technician to write the gender on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and gave it to me.”
“She wanted me to order those smoke cannons for her so that her husband and their kids could do the pop at a photo session to reveal what their new baby is going to be.”
“Personally I don’t see the point in them, but it made my friend happy, and I felt honored that she trusted me with such a secret.”
“When she handed me the envelope she made me swear that under no circumstances I would tell her what it is no matter how much she begged, or tell anyone else. I agreed.”
“Fast forward, I’ve had this envelope for 2 weeks now, I’ve ordered the cannons and the gender reveal is in a few days.”
“For the past 2 weeks my friend has HOUNDED me with texts begging me to just tell her what it is, but then following up with ‘actually no I don’t want to know.'”
“And it’s just been going back and forth like that.”
“The texts were annoying, but I just ignored them and understood she was just excited.”
“But the past 3 days she had begun hounding me at work – I work an office job, and I’m in and out of meetings all day.”
“After the first day of a call into my work, I asked her to please just chill out and stop calling me at work.”
“I reminded her that she made me promise not to tell and she’d find out soon enough.”
“Here is where I may be the a**hole.”
“I’d been having a crappy day at work with a particular client being a giant Pain in the A**.”
“I was stuck in a meeting with this client, and the receptionist stuck her head in and said I had an urgent phone call, thought it may have been my kid’s school, so I excused myself and took the call.”
“It was my ‘friend’ AGAIN.”
“I just snapped and told her ‘if she wanted to know so badly it’s a boy!’”
“And then I hung up the phone.”
“My husband thinks I’m in the right because there is only so much one person can take.”
“But our mutual friends are calling me the AH because I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Texting you is one thing, calling you up at work is a completely different thing.” ~ TR_Irisden
“Exactly. A friend being excited for 2 weeks and texting a ton?”
“I can totally live. Incessant calling?”
‘Depends on the friend.”
“Calls at WORK?”
“You better be dying, because absolutely not.” ~ FangtasticBattie
“And pull OP out of a client meeting… absolutely not!!”
“NTA OP. Pregnant friend – totally an a**hole.” ~ BonusMomSays
“I already thought the friend was an a**hole just for the text hounding.”
“The urgent call at work is next level.”
‘And then she sent flying monkeys OP’s way too. Yeesh.” ~ My_Poor_Nerves
“The text hounding is annoying, but I don’t think that would make her an a**hole on its own.”
“She’s excited, you can ignore text messages, whatever.”
“Calling into OP’s work and saying that the call is urgent?”
“Absolutely an a**hole move. NTA.” ~ A_Drusas
“Calling you at work and saying it’s urgent and pulling you out of a work meeting is INSANE.”
“NTA. She got what she so desperately wanted.”
“What a nightmare.” ~ Creative_Tart7794
“NTA, she called your work phone and interrupted the receptionist and a business meeting!”
“That is where she crossed the line fully – not that she hadn’t already with the many calls.”
“You needed to put an end to it, and you did.”
“If she didn’t want to know, she shouldn’t have asked!” ~ MsJamieFast
“NTA she was being a nuisance I may be biased because I can’t stand gender reveal parties, but she took obnoxious to another level.”
“But she is being obnoxious for 2 after all.” ~ citizensfund82
“Let your friends know that it’s affecting your work and you can get into trouble for her doing the harassing calls.”
“Especially since she is using the word: urgent with her calls.”
“Also tell your friends next time she gets pregnant they can take over the reveal and see how far they can go with their patience with her hounding them even at work of all places.” ~ Tamtam92
“NTA you never call someone’s workplace.”
“Those games can get someone fired.” ~ SpookyMamma
“Calls directly to the workplace are definitely reserved for family only, and only when necessary.”
“I called my mom at work all the time growing up because my mom told me it was okay.”
“Her assistant knew me and was willing to take a message, and I understood I wasn’t going to reach her immediately every time.”
“How did I as a dependent child understand workplace etiquette better than OP’s friend?” ~ Plastic-Artichoke590
“NTA – hounds you multiple times a day and then gets mad when you had enough.”
“You’re friend shouldn’t set up a big reveal if she can’t handle waiting like an adult.” ~ BrilliantEmphasis862
“She only said ‘don’t tell me’ once.”
“Now she’s mad that after a hundred times of asking OP to tell her, OP told her.”
“Heck, I would have told her the third time she asked.”
“First time gets the ‘No, you told me not to tell you.'”
“Second time gets the same, but now the asks have outweighed the forbidding.”
“Third time, ok, she wants to know.” ~ Snatch_Pastry
“Exactly! She warned her friend to chill out.”
“And not just to chill out but to NOT contact her at work again.”
“I work in a field where I cannot carry my phone and do not have a desk.”
“All personal calls have to go through the main office and get announced over the P[ublic] A[nnouncement] to be picked up.”
“That behavior would not fly.” ~ CatmoCatmo
“NTA. She wayyyy overstepped by telling your receptionist it was urgent and pulling you out of a meeting with a client.” ~ poetfrom13thcentury
“NTA, with that extreme behavior.”
“My question is why you didn’t hand back the envelope after the 3rd time she demanded you tell her the gender?” ~ ChiefTuk
“NTA… and I’d put her on blast publicly for lying about why you told her, but that would definitely be scorched earth.”
“She faked an emergency and interfered with your work to play her stupid game.”
“She doesn’t know if that could’ve got you fired, and clearly doesn’t care, she’s not your friend.” ~ Lizi_Jane
“NTA. You held off and tried to keep it a secret for a long time.”
“Your friend is TA for spam calling you while you’re literally working.”
“If she cared that much about a gender reveal, she wouldn’t harass you while you’re literally working.”
“She knew what she was doing.” ~ Negative_Ad5150
“NTA. For your friend to claim that there was an emergency only to ask about the gender of her baby is the absolute worst.”
“I hope you also told her to go read the story of the boy who cried wolf.” ~ He_Who_Is_Right_
“NTA – calling you out of a meeting with an urgent call?!”
“Very scary for a parent.” ~ kretanhaze
“I’m honestly terrified for her kids and spouse (if she has one).”
“Like who the hell would think that faking an urgent call and pulling a friend out of a meeting is an acceptable thing to do?!?”
“If someone pulled this on me I’d cut off all contact.”
“OP’s friend does NOT respect boundaries and seems like she’s a narc who lives for drama.” ~ DivineChaos785
OP came back around to chat…
“I’ve seen a few people concerned about these ‘cannons’… these aren’t the same type that have caused devastation and loss of life by causing fires.”
“They are pressurized with air and powder inside them in nonflammable so they don’t pose any fire hazard.”
“But I completely understand and appreciate people’s concern.”
“I finally got one of our mutual friends to respond to me and tell me what they were told.”
“Turns out as another commenter had guessed, they were told a different story, my ‘friend’ never mentioned the onslaught of texts begging to know or the ringing me multiple times at work they were simply told that ‘OP couldn’t keep a secret and just had to tell me and ruined the surprise.'”
“I honestly don’t know where to go from here, since being able to tell one of the mutual friends what ACTUALLY happened she’s just as pissed as I am.”
“I haven’t heard from my ‘friend’ except for a text message telling me how I’m such a horrible friend, and I shouldn’t have told them.”
“I haven’t responded.”
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
No one deserves to be hounded at work.
Sounds like a little distance from your “friend” may be in order.
Good luck.