Sibling rivalry is all fun and games until it culminates in litigation.
That was the situation for a woman who was furious to find out the status of a precious item she claimed was specifically meant for her.
It all centered around an heirloom passed down from her late grandmother.
After staying true to her convinctions in a situation where she felt she was being wronged, she turned to the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor CourseTasty9395 asked:
"AITA for suing my brother over a family heirloom he gave to his fiancée?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I come from a family where heirlooms mean a lot. Our grandmother left us an antique diamond necklace that's been passed down for generations to the first daughter in the family."
"Since I'm the only daughter of this generation, it was supposed to come to me."
"My brother claimed grandma told him in private that it should go to him instead because he's 'the most responsible.' I didn't want to cause drama, so I let it go, even though it felt unfair."
The OP continued:
"Last week, I saw on social media that my brother gave the necklace to his fiancée as an engagement gift. She posted a picture wearing it with the caption, 'Feeling like royalty with my new family heirloom.' "
"I confronted my brother and reminded him the necklace was meant to stay in the family. He said, 'She is family now. Don't be petty.' When I asked for it back, he refused, saying it would ruin their engagement."
So the OP was forced to take things to the point of no return.
"I decided to take legal action to get the necklace back. Now my brother is furious and calling me selfish. My parents think I'm overreacting, but some extended family members are on my side, saying he never had the right to give it away."
"His fiancée even messaged me, calling me a jealous drama queen and telling me to find my own man to buy me jewelry."
"The whole thing has caused a family feud, and now my brother and his fiancée are threatening to uninvite me from the wedding."
"AITA for taking this to court over a necklace that was supposed to be mine?"
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
Many Redditors had her back and saw her as not the a**hole (NTA) here.
Over a week later, the OP shared the following update to her story after receiving an overwhelming number of responses to her initial post.
There was more to the story.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this much attention on my post. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts and advice. I wanted to give an update because things have escalated and there's some new context."
"First, I talked to my parents about the situation. It turns out my brother didn't just take the necklace he convinced my dad that grandma told him it was meant for him because she thought a man would be more responsible."
"My dad, trying to avoid conflict, handed it over without asking questions. So no, my dad didn't intentionally give it to him, it was manipulation."
"I also reached out to other family members who remember grandma's clear wishes that the necklace was supposed to go to the first daughter. They're willing to back me up if this goes to court."
"My dad has also agreed to speak on my behalf in court, clarifying that he never meant to give the necklace away permanently."
"As for the legal side, I've consulted with my lawyer, who thinks I do have a case. Since there's no will, it all comes down to proving that the necklace was meant to stay in the maternal line. It's tricky, but I feel more confident now knowing I have some family members on my side."
"My brother and his fiancée, however, have doubled down. They've accused me of being jealous, and his fiancée posted another passive-aggressive picture on social media wearing the necklace, captioning it 'Some things just find their rightful home❤️.' "
"It's honestly infuriating."
"At this point, I'm committed to fighting for the necklace, even if it causes more tension in the family. I'll keep you updated if there are any major developments."
She started off the comments with:
"I'm not backing down no matter how much they try to twist things. This necklace belongs to me and I'm going to make sure it stays in the family."
Redditors continued defending the OP.
"Keep fighting. And don't fall for "you're breaking the family apart" narrative. Your brother is doing that and he can fix it very easily. I would also partially blame your dad, who should grow a pair and have a serious talk with your brother. It seems your family dynamics is quite odd though." – Idontlikesoup1
"Also, speaking from experience, grandma not having a will clearly delineating her wishes is a sure fire way to divide families. If you and your Dad do not have one, get one asap."
"Your brother is a manipulative pos. I'd take out a loan if I had to to get that necklace back and, because of all the trouble your pos brother has caused I'd let him know that Dad was leaving it to you!" – VeraLumina
"The fiance is absolute trash. The correct response would have been to say 'oops. I didn't realise it meant so much to the family. Can I borrow it for my wedding and special outings?.' "
"Not nya nya nya it's all mine now. Best of luck with the court case. Once you win cut the b*tch out of your life." – AccomplishedLeave506
"You keep fighting the good fight! There have been times I have read stories about inheritance on reddit, and the author was absolutely wrong. However, in your case, you are 100% right in trying to get what is yours."
"Your entire family knew that the necklace was always passed down to the first daughter, and your brother is just trying to manipulate everyone (for what seems like the 1000th time) in order to get his way. I do really think it's unfortunate that your dad gave him the necklace, so I would make sure that he is actually going to say he didn't mean for your brother to have it permanently."
"As for your SIL, I kinda want to kick her in the shins. Her social media posts in your first post were bad, but the one you mentioned in this post just shows she is not a good person. I also thought it was hysterical that she previously told you that you just needed to find a man who would buy jewelry for you... Ummm... does she realize that HER man didn't buy jewelry from her and just stole it from the rightful heir?"
"I do hope that this is the event that allows your extended family to see what type of person your brother is. From your posts and comments, it seems as if he has been manipulating people to get whatever he wants for quite some time, and people always seem to give in to him."
"If this isn't the straw that breaks the camel's back, I don't know what is. I also think you would be well within your right to cut off any family member who thinks you should let your brother keep the necklace, as it shows they really don't care about family if they're willing to allow your brother to take something that isn't his."
"Please keep us updated on how this goes... I (and this is probably horrible to say) can't wait to see what your SIL posts after she gets sued... and then after the case, what she has to say then."
"Maybe she can post more about feeling like royalty (which 1. Made me gag and 2. Was written to rub in the fact that she got the necklace and you didn't)." – Icy_Cardiologist8444
"Your brother is a manipulative POS. Your parents should tell him he'll be written out of their will if he doesn't return the necklace to you, saves you going to court."
"If not, go to court and go NC with him after, he's not your brother, he's a snake. And go LC/NC with anyone in your family who sides with him."
"For social media, you can just post if you need to respond and say it is an ongoing legal matter and will be discussed in court. Everyone will know what is up then." – iknowsomethings2
"Especially as this is the father's problem to fix. He disrespected his mum and maternal line by doing this. I can't believe he is still so nonchalant about this knowing that son lied, leaving it up to op to sort out. He fudged up, he should fix this." – MunchausenbyPrada
Overall, Redditors thought the OP's anger was warranted given her brother's manipulation.
These intense situations are unfortunately enough to tear families apart, especially when there's no existing will with no inclusion of specific clauses relating to the circumstances.
When the dust is settled from any legal actions if they were taken, they'll be able to move on from this and salvage familial ties over time.
New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.