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Guy At Odds With Unknowingly Pregnant Wife After Making Her Stay At Her Parent’s Empty House Alone

A couple argues on a couch
Eleganza/GettyImages

Marriage isn’t easy.

Also, once a baby is on the way, emotions tend to fly out of the window.

Giving each other space is important.

But there could be such a thing as too much space.

So how do people communicate?

Case in point…

Redditor eliyyyyas wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for sending my wife away and not checking up on her?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (28 M[ale]) wife (24) has a very strong bond with her family.”

“Last month her both parents moved to live with her brothers in Australia and she’s been feeling very down since then.”

“I’m definitely at fault for not making enough time for her these past few weeks due to excessive workload at my new job.”

“This all led to constant arguments initiated by her.”

“It started to get really suffocating and frustrating for both of us so I asked her if, for a few days, she can go live at her parent’s house that they’ve left in her care.”

“She did not say anything, but packed her stuff and left in the morning.”

“I only wanted her to have some time alone to clear her head.”

“I assumed she needs space and called to ask her if she reached their safe and needs groceries since it’s been a month since that house is empty.”

“She didn’t pick up my calls but sent a text later to inform me that she’s there.”

“I thought she really wants to spend this time alone so I decided to not bother her because she’s an introvert who often needs her personal space.”

“We talked very briefly over messages a few times after that.”

“On Tuesday I took a day off work to go see her since it had been over a week and she didn’t return or even called.”

“Got to know she’s been sick for days and is on leave from work.”

“When I asked her why she didn’t inform me, she said she did not want to bother me.”

“I took her to see a doctor and turned out she has Jaundice and is four weeks pregnant.”

“Now she is back home, I’ve apologized but she’s unusually reserved and I feel like I am the reason.”

“My intention was to only give her space and have some time alone for myself, I really love her and never intended to hurt her at all.”

“AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“So let me get this straight:”

“1- Your wife expressed that you had been ignoring her…”

“2- Your response to this was to send her away to live in an empty house by herself…”

“3- You ignored her all week…”

“4- And you justify this by saying SHE needs space? You were doing this FOR HER?…”

“No, YOU wanted space.”

“And you’re so immature and messed up that you can’t even admit it to yourself!”

“Your selfish behavior here has made your wife feel awful, humiliated, and disrespected.”

“Not to mention you could have put her in danger because she was sick and pregnant.”

“You are a completely self-absorbed AH and it doesn’t seem like you respect your wife or care about what she wants at all. YTA.”

“I feel bad for your wife that she’s stuck having a kid with you.”  ~ WearyRelationship729

“There are several states where it is illegal, but saying that you’re trying to save the mother’s life is an affirmative defense.”

“That means that doctors can be charged and they would have to defend themselves in court.”

“Doctors have been very very reluctant to terminate pregnancies and are making women wait until they are very ill and are basically at death’s door.”

“Off the top of my head, I know that one state (Tennessee) is considering a bill to decriminalize abortion when a doctor’s medical judgment is that it’s necessary to save a woman’s life.”

“This would mean that doctors would not have as much of a fear of being charged with a crime and dragged into court.”

“Unfortunately bills like this are necessary because… The current situation is really bad.”

“I hope she isn’t in one of those states.”  ~ hikehikebaby

“Not even misbehaving though.”

“She was upset that she didn’t get time with him so she told him that and his depiction was its best if you go live in a house by yourself to see it not that bad here and you could be a lot lonelier only to find out.”

“Oh, sh*t… I’m going to look like a right f**king prick for sending my pregnant wife to a house all alone where she ended up getting sick and it could’ve cost her their child and he would’ve been none the damn wiser.”

“Now he’s all woe is me I was doing it ’cause I thought it would help!”

“But now everyone hates me and I need people on the internet to tell me it’s not my fault.”

“Except there are a lot of people on the internet and yeah maybe some will agree with him but dudes a moron if he thinks he’s not a crappy partner at this point.”

“I’m guessing that’s the first kid?”

“Wouldn’t it have been great if it could’ve been happy news for either one of you?” ~ Odd-Description-8794

“YTA. OP lacks accountability and empathy.”

“His wife was missing her parents and needed support to fill a void.”

“He seems selfish and out of touch with the responsibilities of a significant other.” ~ RainGirl11

“This! Op May also be a bit narcissistic.”

“Like her whole family moved to another continent and she expressed being lonely.”

“The solution was to make her even more lonely?”

“What kind of a** thinks this is OK?”

“Even justified it by saying she needed space.”

“Op wanted space, not her.”

“OP messed up big time and his wife will remember it forever.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be in good and bad, forever together.”

“Apparently not for OP.”

“Forgot the giant YTA.” ~ LiliumIam

“This comment made me realize how many times the script has been flipped on me.”

“My ex-partners would be distant and I’d bring it up, and they’d get even colder, then justify it by saying they thought I wanted space.”

“It was so exhausting and so hard to see what was really going on.”

“It affected my mental health greatly and we weren’t even married, thank goodness.”

“I can’t imagine how miserable my life would be if I let that continue. Thank you.”

“OP, YTA.” ~ bettleheimderks

“This comment made me realize how many times the script has been flipped on me.”

“My ex-partners would be distant and I’d bring it up, and they’d get even colder, then justify it by saying they thought I wanted space.”

“it was so exhausting and so hard to see what was really going on.”

“It affected my mental health greatly and we weren’t even married, thank goodness.”

“I can’t imagine how miserable my life would be if I let that continue. Thank you.” OP, YTA.” ~ bettleheimderks

“So… let me see if I have this right.”

“Your wife was depressed because her parents moved.”

“You didn’t make time to help her because of work.”

“You were fighting a lot (and how you found time to fight when you had no time to be loving and supportive is beyond me), so you kicked her out to go live in an empty house.”

“How you could have written all of this out without realizing that YTA is amazing.” ~ consectariana

“Why would you assume someone needs space when they are clearly communicating that the lack of attention is the problem?”

“So, to solve that, you send her away to isolate her and you don’t even bother to try to contact her because you’re happy to be alone and away from her complaints.”

“She didn’t communicate with you because you banished her for annoying you.”

“Why would she call you when she’s sick?”

“You clearly don’t want to hear her ‘complaints’ and would have brushed it off as nothing but whining.”

“All you cared about was yourself and your comfort. YTA.” ~ babcock27

“Let this sink in:”

“Your wife was sick for days.”

“So sick that she was on leave from work.”

“‘When I asked her why she didn’t inform me, she said she did not want to bother me.'”

“Read that again carefully!”

“You are so dismissive of her needs that she is afraid to tell you that she is seriously ill because she doesn’t want to bother you!”

“YTA! Either change your priorities or get a divorce and set up co-parenting because she deserves someone better than you.”

“A lot better than you!” ~ Unable_Ad5655

“YTA – so your wife is lonely and down because she misses her family.”

“You’ve been neglecting her and fully acknowledge that you aren’t giving her the attention she deserves.”

“She brings this up to you and tries to talk to you about how she’s feeling, which leads to arguments.”

“And your solution to all of this is to… ask her to move out for a while?? Really?”

“I mean, re-read that.”

“How on earth can you even think that you’re not the a**hole here?” ~ DisneyBuckeye

Well, OP, Reddit is not with you.

It seems like you and the wife have a lot to work out… particularly during this pregnancy.

Being in tune with your partner’s (and the baby’s) feelings can take time.

Time for more listening.