Neighbors can really be a problem.
Depending on where one lives, neighbors can be more involved in life’s day-to-day than necessary… or wanted.
Sometimes being a good neighbor means looking away or turning the other cheek.
Or maybe just minding your business.
Case in point…
Redditor Pregnantpoolta wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:”
AITA for not covering up more to float in my pool?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I have an above-ground pool in my backyard.”
“It’s almost as tall as the fence, so you can see into it from my neighbor’s deck and lots of their windows.”
“In short, it’s not very private.”
“I’m eight months pregnant and getting pretty uncomfortable.”
“Being in the water helps enormously, so I like to spend a good chunk of time most evenings just floating in my pool.”
“I wear a bikini to do this because it’s about a million times easier than fighting with a one-piece.”
“The end result of this is that my neighbors get an eyeful of large, pale (wear sunscreen, kids!), stretchmark-covered belly when they look in the direction of my backyard.”
“The other day, my neighbor stopped my husband when he was on his way out to ask if I could cover up more in the pool.”
“Apparently, they’re avoiding using their deck because seeing so much of my body is uncomfortable for them.”
“My husband laughed as if they were joking, and they didn’t press, but now they’ve started giving me dirty looks whenever they see me.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for subjecting my neighbors to my pasty pregnant body on the regular?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Definitely NTA! You’re pregnant, and you’re relaxing in your own pool, in your own yard, wearing a normal swimsuit.”
“F**k them. If it’s that big an issue for them, they can stay inside.” ~ emily_in_boots
“Nobody is forcing them to look in any particular direction.”
“Making a pregnant woman uncomfortable for your convenience of being able to look at her and not see her pale belly, or whatever the actual reason is, is bonkers. NTA.” ~ RegrettableBiscuit
“OP is 1000% NTA.”
“I wonder… Would the neighbors also complain if their pool-using neighbor was not pregnant but incredibly obese?”
“What right do they have to judge someone’s body?”
“Will they tolerate her in a bikini in her own pool when she ‘gets her figure back?'”
“This is just every flavor of infuriating.” ~ Moulitov
“Worth checking to see if you can add a trellis on top, though, as this is often permitted.”
“OP, I’m not suggesting that you are doing anything wrong here.”
“In fact, I’d go further and experiment with decorating your pregnant belly with bright body paint.”
“Your neighbors, however, are ugly, judgemental people, and I’d want to see as little of them as possible.”
“ETA… I loved floating in late pregnancy.”
“You’re so buoyant it’s almost impossible to dive under the surface.”
“Enjoy and ignore your petty neighbors.” ~ geekgirlau
“Honestly, in my country, at least (in Eastern Europe), it’s considered very rude and poor manners to look into other people’s yards, balconies, and apartments, even when it’s unavoidable.”
“So definitely NTA. I bet there are at least three other directions the neighbors can look at to avoid seeing a pregnant belly.” ~ bigmamma0
“This. I guarantee that if OP were not pregnant, slim, and conventionally attractive (but not too attractive, of course), they’d have no beef.”
“Bikinis are so much easier to wear when you’re pregnant. I did hydrotherapy while preggers and wore one because I could not imagine squeezing a one-piece over my bump.” ~ lemikon
“NTA – But OMG, are your neighbors!”
“Who the hell do they think you are to deny you the use of your own pool, especially when you’re heavily pregnant and miserable?”
“Enjoy that pool with your new baby!” ~ KandyGirl477
“NTA – Continue to float and use your pool at any time.”
“Their request is ridiculous, and it conveys shaming.”
“You are beautiful and about to deliver the life you and your husband have been waiting to meet.”
“The world does not revolve around their wants.” ~ DesertSong-LaLa
“LOL, of course NTA!”
“I would laugh my a** off at those neighbors.”
“I made a very private backyard so I can sunbathe topless by the pool and nobody can see me.”
“That is until my backyard neighbors got a trampoline for their kids!”
“They wanted me to stop because omg what if the little tikes saw BREASTS???”
“Oh, the horror!”
“They threatened to call the cops – I said go right ahead.”
“Never heard from them again, and they eventually moved (I guess because I was corrupting their babies).” ~ AryaStark1313
“This is besides the point, but what you said is 100% accurate.”
“Source: got a major spinal cord injury at age 11 on a trampoline after a mean super bounce from neighbor kids.”
“The trampoline had that netting around it to prevent children from falling off as well.”
“Ironically, I probably would have been better off falling onto the ground.”
“Was wearing PJ pants (Tony the tiger to be specific) and slipped on them on my way down, my back nailed right on the metal bar, and whiplash ricocheted up into my spine/neck.”
“My body went into shock and started convulsing. I lost feeling in my lower extremities for three weeks.”
“I wasn’t supposed to walk again.”
“Woke up one night and felt what I can only describe as pins and needles on fire in my back and legs.”
“Nerve endings were coming back.”
“I spent three months in the ICU on steroids and six months after that completing land/water therapy.”
“Never played sports or did dance again.”
“Reoccurring back pain as an adult.”
“Developed an addiction to painkillers.”
“Rehab twice. (Sober for some time, we do recover 💪).”
“Can safely say I would have much rather seen boobies.” ~ verynervousmama
“This is entirely their problem, not your problem.”
“Next time they see you, ask them to stop ogling you from their deck as that makes you uncomfortable. NTA.” ~ SamW20910
“NTA. They’ll probably be the sort of neighbors that will ask you not to breastfeed while sitting outside because they are offended.”
“They need to grow up and get over it – babies don’t come from a cabbage patch or brought down by a stork.”
“Good luck – enjoy floating in the pool for the next month.” ~ West_Map4218
“NTA… I laughed as I imagined trying to get a bathing suit over a belly with a child at eight months.”
“I can barely get one over mine.”
“Those miracle suits take a miracle to get into.”
“If your neighbor doesn’t like seeing this, he shouldn’t look.”
“A pool is a brilliant way to relieve the stresses on your body.” ~ Sad_Affect1104
“I got stuck, naked, in a public restroom at seven months pregnant trying to get into a one piece.”
“I was so exhausted by the adventure I almost passed out.”
“I may be a pale whale at 8.5 months, but you bet your a** this whale is rocking a tie bikini.”
“On my own property, though?”
“If I didn’t face a golf course, my neighbors would be lucky I had clothes on at all.” ~ ummmno_
“NTA – I hope this is largely in your head.”
“It’s important to get on with your neighbors, but only if mutual respect is there.”
“If they are genuinely put off by the sight of a pregnant belly – to hell with them.”
“That said: I get on with my neighbors very well.”
“I’m a big fat old b**tard, and I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy gardening in the nude.”
“I do have good, tall fences and hedges around my property, which keep my garden 75% hidden.”
“It might be worth talking to your neighbors about putting up a higher fence or trees.”
“I’d do it in a friendly way based on wanting them to enjoy their gardens too, but make a point of whipping out your belly and asking them what EXACTLY are they uncomfortable about.” ~ peterhala
“NTA. One thing being a homeowner has taught me is that as long as you are not naked outside, it is not your job to cover angles of view.”
“It is 100% the onlooker’s job to make it so that they cannot see you.”
“If you are comfortable being seen (again, unless naked, as that is indecent exposure even on your own property), then it is not your job to prevent people from seeing you.”
“If they are uncomfortable seeing you, then they should make it so that they cannot see you.” ~ Mysterious-Wave-7958
“NTA. I just had my baby last week, and if I could have spent the last three months floating in a pool, I would have done it no matter what I looked like or how my neighbors felt.”
“If it was a fat old man sitting shirtless in his own backyard, it would be the same result.”
“Your yard, you’re not naked, do what you want!” ~ musicbox081
“NTA, but your neighbors are.”
“Do not let their issue become your issue.”
“Congrats on the baby to be, and for being comfortable being you!”
“There’s zero wrong with showing belly, period.”
“With or without a baby on board, in your pool or in your back yard, at the beach, or anywhere else for that matter!” ~ Intrepid_Potential60
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your property, your rules.
Props to you for finding such a creative way to be comfortable while pregnant.
Just keep swimming, we say!