It would be great if all roommate situations were like… “The Golden Girls.”
Most are not.
Most can be contentious and chaotic.
It’s difficult when people fight over shared space.
But it’s a daily problem.
Redditor Adventurous_Age_3694 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to move out so that my roommate’s b[oy]friend] can move in?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My roommate and I split our lease 50/50 and are currently month-to-month, as we have been living here about a year and a half.”
“Last week she sat me down and told me that she and her boyfriend want to take the next step and move in together.”
“As she was telling me about it, she told me I need to leave and find a new place to live.”
“I am refusing to leave as I believe that the person who wants change is the person who should facilitate that, and that I should not have to uproot my life by finding a new place as well as spending the money to move in order to make that happen for her.”
“She says she is entitled to stay because she made a garden in the backyard and does the majority of the yard work; also, most of the furniture is hers.”
“These are things I have taken into consideration, but ultimately decided I want to stay.”
“I also made it clear I was okay with her staying and her boyfriend moving in since she already has the master bedroom, but they want to live alone without a roommate.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, if she doesn’t want to be roommates, she moves.” ~ Zestyclose-Height-36
“NTA. She’s not more important than you.”
“It is not her house to kick you out of; you have the same rights to the space.”
“If she wants you to move badly enough, she could offer to help financially and practically to make it happen (assuming you were ok with that) and also give you your half of the security deposit back.”
“Otherwise, she can move herself.” ~ cynical_overlord1979
“NTA, but please speak to your landlord and see if you can get a longer term lease and make it clear to him that you won’t be moving on.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her to tell him you’re leaving to end your lease behind your back.” ~ JBB2002902
“NTA. Your roommate is being pushy.”
“She thought she could bully you into moving, and like you said, why should you spend the money and have the inconvenience of finding a new place?”
“Yard work and furniture have no bearing on the lease.”
“If she wants to live with her BF, they can find somewhere else.”
“This place is already occupied 👋🏻” ~ Regular-Message9591
“Let her know she can pay for your moving costs as her romance is costing you money, and legally you don’t have to go anywhere, but you can sure make life uncomfortable for her.” ~ SafeWord9999
“Her reasoning that she’s tended to the garden and most of the furniture is hers is laughable.”
“It’s almost like she knows she can’t actually kick you out.”
“The one who wants a change is the one who moves.” ~ MarionberryOk2874
“NTA. You live there, you don’t have to be good with getting kicked out of your own home.”
“That said, I’d be keeping my eyes open for other places to move.”
“Month-to-month lease, you might not have a choice.” ~ BMal_Suj
“I’m not sure it matters if YTA or NTA.”
“What are the odds she’ll move out if you refuse to budge?’
“Do you expect to live in harmony with her after this?”
“She’ll either not move her BF in and make your life miserable.”
“Or he’ll move in and they’ll both make your life miserable.”
“You are pretty naive if you think otherwise.”
“I’d try to bargain with her to give you an incentive to leave since she’s pushing for that, but if she doesn’t move out, I expect you’ll be leaving, when and after how much stress & frustration is up to you.” ~ Copper0721
“NTA, if she and her boyfriend are deciding to make a change, the burden is on them to do it, not you.”
“It wasn’t even a thought in your head until your roommate made known their intentions.”
“There are still legal matters to consider – the lease and Attitude matters.”
“Will your roommate and/or her boyfriend make living there unnecessarily stressful or difficult?”
“If they do, you may have to consider moving for your peace of mind and general well-being.” ~ Reasonable-Wedding21
“NTA. Is she willing to pay for your moving expenses?”
“New deposit, first and last month’s rent?”
“Probably not.”
“There is no reason for you to uproot your stable living status to make their lives better.”
“Never light yourself on fire to keep others warm.” ~ Conflictedhumor
“Inform your landlord about this and make it clear that you have no intentions of moving out.”
“I would suggest you be cautious because most roommates try to make the environment hostile so the other person moves out of frustration.”
“Also, don’t allow her boyfriend to live overnight, especially if it’s against what’s on the lease contract; if necessary, complain to your roommate.”
“Protect yourself and your space.”
“Your roommate is the one who wants the changes, so she has to be the one to look for a solution or a place without making you move out.” ~ Think_Storm_8909
“NTA—It’s fishy that the boyfriend doesn’t move her to his place.”
“It sounds like the boyfriend doesn’t want to do the heavy lifting, renting a place, furnishing it, a deposit.”
“You may want to have a heart-to-heart, ask if they are serious and he wants to make it official, but why is he not doing the work?”
“Moving a good roommate out, and moving in a stranger (?), she doesn’t know if he has a good credit rating for an apartment, if they break up, who is left with the lease agreement?”
“Good luck, this is a lot more than it looks.” ~ momof3bs
“NTA. She can move in with her BF if she wants that.”
“But you should have to move out of your home because she wants to take the next steps with her BF.” ~ candyheartfairy
“NTA. It’s not up to her.”
“It is up to your landlord.”
“You may be month-to-month, but that just means the terms of your lease carry over each month until one of you gives the landlord notice you’re moving.”
‘If you were to move out, you’d have to notify the landlord, and then it is up to the landlord to make a new lease with new tenants.”
“Possibly your roommate and her S[ignificant] O[ther] but the landlord is not obligated to continue the terms of your lease with her and the new tenant.”
“Her putting in a garden or supplying furniture is not going to matter to a landlord unless you have plans to trash the place if she moves out.”
“She’s out of luck.” ~ Silent-Friendship860
“NTA. They want to live together, then she moves out.”
“You’re on the lease, she can’t tell you to go.”
“Doesn’t matter that she has a garden; it was her choice to put it in.”
“Her furniture?”
“Take it with her.”
“She can’t evict you.”
“If her BF doesn’t want a roommate, then it’s on them to move, not your problem.”
“It’s your home too.” ~ Mulewrangler
“NTA. It’s a rental, so her having a garden doesn’t really mean much.”
“She knew eventually she’d have to either move the garden or leave it behind when she moved.”
“Definitely talk to the landlord, advising them you’re definitely.”
“Not moving.. I’d be sure to also email or text too, it’s in writing and not just verbal.” ~ simplyexistingnow
“NTA, she can leave if she wants them to live alone with him.”
“You’re both on the lease 50/50.”
“Don’t let them talk you into leaving.”
“Stand your ground.” ~ mundo923
“You are NTA at all.”
“For wanting to stay in your apartment that you pay for.”
“I don’t know why your roommate thinks that, because she wants to change her life, but that it should mean you changing and uprooting yours.”
“Sounds like she’s acting like an entitled brat.”
“I agree with the other comments and let your landlord know the situation.”
“Sounds like your roommate will pull some crap.”
“Who cares about a garden?”
“Her reasons are dumb.”
“Doesn’t make it any more important at all.”
“Stand your ground.”
“Sounds like they don’t want to fork out the money to move, but why should you have to?
“That’s Ludacris!” ~ jlz0714
“NTA. They want a new start- they can go start it at a new place with the first and last month’s rent that they both contributed to.”
“You are one person, why should you foot the bill when you didn’t ask for the change?”
“That said, not sure why you’re so cool with the dude moving in with you.”
“Distinct possibility he’d do anything he can think of to drive you out.”
“And that the bills won’t be split 1/3 each, they’d still try to go 50/50, so you’d be paying for him to freeload.” ~ Beneficial-Sort4795
“NTA. When my now husband and I decided to live together, he told his roommates our plan, we got our own place, and they stayed with a new roommate.” ~ desertg1rl
“NTA, and I would be very leery of letting boyfriend move in.”
“He may not be allowed on the lease; there would be changes to your utilities and rent, plus the fact that they may try to bully you out of your home.” ~ Imfromsite
Reddit is with you, OP.
Roommate situations can be a nightmare.
If you’re on the lease, she can figure out a new situation.
You’re right to stand your ground.
Good Luck.