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Bride Livid After Overweight Bridesmaid Drops Out Of Wedding Party Due To ‘Skin Tight’ Dress

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Picking dresses for a wedding is meant to be all about fun and fashion.

But often times it turns into sheer drama.

Bridesmaids dresses can be an especially ornery topic.

Case in point…

Redditor PhysicsVast9133 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for refusing to be a bridesmaid because of the dress?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (29 F[emale]) am overweight.”

“It’s something I’m working on as I’m very much not comfortable in my body but again, it’s a work in progress.”

“My friend (30 F) is getting married in a couple months in a pretty informal wedding.

“But still asked me and a few other friends to be bridesmaids. I agreed, of course.”

“A week ago my friend sent pictures of the dresses she was thinking about.”

“My friends voted on this long sleeve skin tight dress.”

“I would not be comfortable in this dress as it’s too tight, both in terms of physical comfort and mental comfort.”

“I voiced my opinion and why.”

“And my friends all said they liked the dress most.”

“And the bride to be said that since all of my friends agreed on this one we had to pick it.”

“I asked if I could wear a similar dress of my own that’s more comfortable.”

“It’s in a similar shade of green that my friend chose for this dress, so I could still be there but also comfortable.”

“My friend told me that the day is not about me and that I will just have to put up with being uncomfortable for an evening.”

“I told her it would be genuinely embarrassing for me to wear the dress and that since I respect her day, I’m just going to withdraw from being a bridesmaid so my discomfort doesn’t overshadow her.”

“I said that the dresses were very pretty and I understand why they chose them but I’m just not willing to wear it.”

“I then said that there’s no hard feelings, I’m not mad.”

“I understand, but they have to understand why I’m uncomfortable.”

“The bride to be messaged me the next day say saying that I embarrassed her in the groupchat and that she doesn’t understand why I’m so opposed to it.”

“I explained once again that the dress was too tight and would be unflattering and uncomfortable for me.”

“She then got mad and said now either her fiancée will have to drop a groomsmen or she has to find another bridesmaid.”

“I apologized for causing her strife and then said again, I have a dress in a similar color that is much more comfortable for me to wear and she turned me down again.”

“I’ve been shunned by all of the bridal party since.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA. You don’t have to be paraded around in front of people in something that you’re uncomfortable wearing, and you never have to be a bridesmaid.”

“If their aesthetic is more important than their wedding party’s feelings, then that’s the choice they made.” ~ T3HN3RDY1

“It’s rare I say this, because I do tend to prefer the AITA posts where OP is TA and am more than happy to point out when OP shared blame, but OP did everything right.”

“Like there isn’t a single point where she could have made a better move.”

“OP’s friend group is TA first and foremost.”

“They should have immediately backed down when OP said she was uncomfortable.”

“I can get that it’s uncomfortable for the bride to veto the whole group in favor of one person.”

“But she really should have and is the TA for not doing that.”

“Then she’s the TA again for trying to pressure OP, but now the friend group is back to being TA for shunning her.”

“I’m more sympathetic to brides than most because it really is a stressful time—and people not cooperating is absolutely the most stressful part—but the rest of the friend group has zero excuse.”

“They liked this dress more than they cared about their friend’s feelings.”

“It’s their outfit for one day; they barely have skin in the game.”

“What a selfish group of AHs.” ~ harmcharm77

“The bride had to have known OP wouldn’t like the dress.”

“Skin tight body con dresses take a lot of confidence to wear, they aren’t for everyone.”

‘They aren’t even flattering on everyone.”

“It seems like the bride knew this and decided to peer pressure and bully OP into wearing it.”  ~ Yaaaassquatch

“It’s damn near impossible to find a dress that doesn’t look awful on 3-5 different girls of different shapes and skin tones.”

“Most of the weddings I’ve been to lately the bride picks a brand with a few different styles in the same color.”

“I thought matchy-matchy bridesmaids were out of style like ten years ago.” ~ DelsMagicFishies

“I was in a wedding where the bride said all of us needed to be in short dresses in a specific color from David’s Bridal.”

“And either everyone had to be in different dresses completely or everyone had to be in the exact same dress.”

“The group was leaning towards one specific dress, I went to try it on and it looked TERRIBLE on me and was super uncomfortable.”

“I have a different body type than the rest of the group and it had zero give where I needed it and I couldn’t walk or sit in it comfortably.”

“I texted the bride with a photo and said I couldn’t wear the dress because the lining didn’t fit my body and she almost immediately texted the group and said she decided she’d prefer us to be in completely different dresses.”

“Everyone was happy and looked great in the photos.”

“I was thankful the bride finally made a decision because the group was mostly women who were slender and athletic looking and I was more of a short Ashley Graham.”

“I probably would have dropped out before buying and spending a long day in a dress that made me feel uncomfortable and like my weight was on display.”

‘I don’t blame OP for bowing out, it’s an awful position to have to be put in.” ~ Ok-Aardvark-6742

“NTA. You don’t feel comfortable so you stepped down.”

“As you didn’t wanted to make a big deal out of it for her.”

“And why do there have to be equal bridesmaids and groomsmen.”

“There are no rules for a wedding unless you follow a religion yourself.”  ~ zieliigg

“But there DOES, when the people in your wedding party are more important as props than being your closest friends.”

“The sides must be even and you need to kick people out or ask ‘plan B’ friends to join, in order to achieve this.”

“It goes without saying that it’s only women on the bride’s side and only men on the groom’s side.”

“And the women need to wear matchy-matchy dresses for ‘the pictures.'”

“How dare you want to wear a more flattering dress, OP.”

“Think of THE PICTURES!”

“All sarcasm. NTA. OP, you were kind and understanding with your friend.”

“You offered to step down or wear a similar dress in the same color.”

“It’s perfectly valid to refuse to wear a dress that you would feel deeply uncomfortable in.”  ~ NolaJen1120

“My sister has six bridesmaids, all difference shapes and sizes.”

“We tried a bunch of dresses and in the end, we chose those infinity ones that you can do in a bunch of different ways.”

“Everyone’s comfortable, looks gorgeous, and no one has to be embarrass or humiliated by their so called friends. NTA.”  ~ Sabrielle24

“This makes me so sad.”

“I had a plus sized bridesmaid and she told me one dress I was heavily considering didn’t come in her size.”

“I immediately told her she was more important than a dress and we went with a different company with a broader size range.”

“I picked something with a high waistline that wasn’t too tight because my matron of honor was 5 months pregnant.”

“And we needed a dress to accommodate her belly too.”

“I can’t imagine a dress being more important than people!”  ~ bananaslammock08


“I missed out on so much ‘not being comfortable.'”

“I don’t own any pictures of myself for any of my 20’s.”

“And a good chunk of 30’s.”

“I got up to 350, down to 175. I’ve been everything, but skinny.”

“My biggest regret is not living.”

“I put so much thought into things no one else cared about.”

“I avoided pictures I wish I now had, and skipped events I was sad to miss.”

“Now in my 40’s and after kids, it’s a completely different outlook.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not out in booty shorts, but I don’t tell my kids I won’t swim with them because I’m not comfortable in a suit.”

“I swim. I missed swimming.”  ~ MiLeenaLee

OP, Reddit understands your plight.

And it sounds like you did everything right, with time to spare.

Don’t take it personally.

Weddings make people crazy.

You keep doing you.