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Bride Mortified After Groom Says He Can Barely Recognize Her In Her Wedding Makeup

A bride sits on church steps, sad with her head in her hands

Everyone wants to look their best at a wedding.

So people will put their best foot forward in preparations and attire.

But no one wants to be more stunning than the newlyweds themselves.

This is a big day in their lives.

They want to look back and feel beautiful forever.

So that’s why certain types of commentary may be best left unsaid.

Case in point…

Redditor GateKeepingRunner wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for telling my fiancée she looked weird on our wedding night?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Me 32 M[ale], I’ve dating Sarah 29 F[emale] for over 2 years.”

“I love her to death, and she means the world to me.”

“Also she is a person who is comfortable with her skin and doesn’t use a lot of makeup which I really adore about her and we always tell the truth to each other no matter what.”

“Yesterday, was our wedding and the moment I saw her there I was shocked she used a huge amount of makeup that I barely recognized her without hearing her voice.”

“She saw my facial expression that I was acting a little out of the ordinary and she asked me what’s wrong?”

“I told her that it’s nothing but she looked a little weird with all that makeup in her face.”

“She tried to laugh it off and started talking to her other friends, to be honest at that moment I really didn’t think I said something wrong or anything especially since she didn’t say anything.

“However, when we went home, she started to give me the cold shoulder treatment.”

“I asked her what was wrong, and she said it was nothing, and she doesn’t feel well and she is tired, etc.”

“To be honest I think she’s hiding something and that got me wondering if what I said may be the reason.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA. On the day she’s meant to feel beautiful and stunning and desirable to her new husband, you pulled a funny face and told her she looked weird.”

“What a shi**y start to a marriage. Poor Sarah.”  ~ CrystalQueen3000

“This is something a small child would say when they see their mother wearing makeup or a drastically different hairstyle and feel alarmed that she looks so different from the woman they know and see as a bedrock of security.”

“It’s ridiculous for a 32-year-old man to be like, ‘Why do you look all weird?'”

“In response to bridal makeup.”

“She obviously made an effort.”

“She’s obviously going to wash her face that night and not just hire a makeup artist every day now that she’s married.”

“Tell her she looks beautiful and move the f**k on.” ~ ibuycheeseonsale

“This just sickens me to think about.”

“The wedding anxiety and pressure on women is already so real and so toxic.”

“Even for brides who don’t care much about appearances, traditions, or even ‘cheesy’ romantic stuff, the pressure is on 24/7 to be absolutely perfect and you get scrutinized by EVERYONE.”

“It’s hard, even for confident women, to avoid the constant nitpicking of every physical imperfection and not let it get to you.”

“I thought even I’d be immune to it, but it wears you down, sometimes to the point of breaking.”

“It felt like middle school bullying all over again.”

“If my fiancé behaved that way I don’t think I could ever face another person again, much less walk down the aisle in front of dozens of them.”

“I hate to think of how heartbroken and crushed this poor girl must feel.” ~ MyMorningSun

“I don’t think this is fair.”

“I think he wasn’t used to it, that’s all.”

“It’s still wrong that he said it on their wedding day.”

“But if she’s never done that and then did, it was probably just a bit shocking.” ~ Arlaneutique

“Okay, but it’s makeup.”

“After the night ends, it all washes off, and they can live their lives with her face makeup free if she wants. Lol.”

“This would be a time to pick your battles and just smile and say you look beautiful.”

“That was unnecessarily cruel and immature.” ~ 856077

“I don’t think a partner not liking his partner’s makeup implies they won’t like them aging or losing/gaining weight.”

“Makeup is not inherently a part of the wearer whereas wrinkles and scars are.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with not liking someone’s makeup.”

“I’ve had makeup done and hated it and appreciated my partner not liking it either.”

“I like that level of honesty.”

“Makes the compliments feel that much better.”

“And I feel I can count on my partner for the truth.” ~ meglandici

“You’re right 100%.”

“I just feel kind of bad for the guy.”

“I always feel for people who don’t intend to do damage and truly were just speaking without thinking.”

“Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of things you can say that shouldn’t come out because they shouldn’t be in your head.”

“This one just shouldn’t have come out I really don’t think he meant to be a d**k.” ~ Arlaneutique

“Sure I get you – it doesn’t change the fact that it was tactless and hurt her feelings though.”

“Most guys tend to know that the default thing to say is ‘you look beautiful/stunning/gorgeous honey’ or whatever meaningful words they’d use to convey the message that she looks great, on such an important occasion.” ~ stanleysgirl77

“Full disclosure, my wife did something similar on our wedding – way more makeup than usual.”

“She didn’t typically wear makeup like that – it looked weird since that wasn’t typically her style, kinda like a mask, but she was having a blast.”

“Lord knows I’ve had my share of screw-ups, but I still knew enough not to say anything.”

“The important thing was us getting married and her enjoying every minute.” ~ sadllamas

“Also, wedding makeup is expensive as hell.”

“Even if it looks bad or weird you do NOT tell a bride that after they spent all that money on it.” ~ bortzys

“Not to mention that for whatever reason bridal makeup is super thick and often contours the face in a way that does make the person almost unrecognizable from their normal self.”

“Clearly he was an idiot for saying what his initial thoughts were without thinking, but it was done out of shock at seeing a ‘stranger’ standing in front of him.”

“He will have a lot of apologizing to do to make up for that kind of faux pas.”  ~ BluntButHon3st

“OP is the a**hole here by a mile!”

“That was their special day and she will forever look at those photos and hear his comment.”

“I was a bridesmaid for my friend’s wedding.”

“My fiancé hadn’t seen me with full makeup on before this day.”

“To be honest It was a lot of makeup, I didn’t even think I looked like me but the makeup people said it would ‘settle in’ as the day went on.”

“It did a bit but I waved at my fiance and it wasn’t until he heard my voice he realized it was me!”

“He never said anything except ‘You look, beautiful darling,’ but I could see he thought I looked overdone.”


“How, as a groom, could you think to say anything that isn’t 100% nice, kind, and flattering to your wife on your wedding day, excessive makeup or not!!” ~ InstanceQuirky

“Just to validate this, my husband said something similar to me at our wedding. I am also one who almost never wears makeup.”

“The feelings I had after that comment have never really gone away. Married for 25 years so he has made up for it by being a good husband.”

“But I don’t like to think about my wedding at all, I never discuss it, and I shoved our wedding photos in an envelope at the bottom of a drawer and never looked at them again.”

“My mom hung up my wedding photo and I asked her to take it down.” ~ sterrecat

“My husband said to me a month after our first one was born that I still looked like I was pregnant.”

“It’s been 13 years and he has apologized and made it up in compliments a million times since.”

“But it still pops in my head and makes me insecure every now and then.”

“I know it wasn’t out of malice, and I did indeed look like I was pregnant (which is NORMAL), but I still didn’t need to hear it from him.”

“Words really matter.” ~ FuzzyPeachDong

“YTA – but it’s an honest mistake.”

“Lemme be clear… LOTS of women overdo the makeup and look like totally different people on their wedding day.”

“They do a lot of things they don’t usually do on their wedding day because it’s one day that a lot of them have dreamt of and they want it to be perfect.”

“Your job was to tell her she looked beautiful, no matter what, and say ‘I do.'”

“Congratulations just the same.”

“I got married over the weekend, didn’t even have a wedding, and it still got dumb.”

“Weddings and funerals are always hard to navigate because emotions are high and people are human.”

“I recommend just telling her how lovely she was yesterday.”

“And if she says anything about you having said she looked weird, you tell her it was shock from how beautiful she was and nerves from the big day.”

“And that you went stupid for a second, and then you tell her she was gorgeous and give her a kiss.”

“The heavy makeup is for the photography.”

“It photographs better.” ~ SecretTimeTrash

OP came back with a resolution…

“Thank you, everyone I realized how I totally f**ked up and how my comment was misinterpreted.”

“I will apologize to her and try to fix things.”

Well, OP, Reddit had a lot to say.

It’s nice to hear that you’ve taken responsibility and that you realize how what you said was hurtful.

Weddings can be a stressful time.

Hopefully, you and your new bride can work through this moment.

And in the future, maybe think more before you speak.

Good luck and congrats!