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Bride Refuses To Let Serial-Dater Sister Bring ‘Fling’ To Wedding To Avoid Having Strangers In Photos

A bride and groom holding hands.
Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

Whether they’re having a small, intimate wedding or a large wedding with hundreds of people, all prospective brides and grooms must eventually draw the line at who gets an invitation and who doesn’t.

Often making guest lists even more complicated is who gets a plus one and who doesn’t.

Indeed, many invited guests do not take kindly to the fact that they were not also granted a plus one, and thus must attend the wedding alone.

Even if they are currently without a significant other and have been for some time.

Redditor RealisticOpening2048 was finalizing the guest list for her upcoming wedding.

When doing so, and in an effort to keep her guest list small, the original poster (OP) eventually decided not to give her sister the opportunity to bring a date.

Sadly, the OP’s sister was quite hurt and angry by this news, and the OP’s explanation as to why she wasn’t allowed to bring a plus-one only made her sister feel even worse.

Wondering if she could have handled things better, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for not giving my sister a plus one to my wedding?”

The OP explained why she made a conscious decision not to allow her sister to bring a plus-one to her upcoming wedding:

“I (25 F[emale]) am a Winter 2024 bride, and am marrying the absolute love of my life.”

“My sister and I have always had a great/interesting relationship.”

“Most sisters would know; one day, you start fighting because she wore your clothes, and the next day, you’re having Dunkin together, typically sisterly things.”

“Well, my sister has always been, to put it frankly, a pick-me, girl.”

“She has no friends that are women because she says ‘she sees them as competition’ and she likes to be friends with boys.”

“She will only date rich men, and refuses to settle for less (a little bit to that later).”

“My sister has not had a relationship last longer than 2 months, and she always has a new guy on her shoulder.”

“My mother and Fiancé were recently talking about this before I sent out my invitations.”

“I had mentioned since our venue was on the smaller side, we didn’t want strangers in our wedding, nor did we want them in our wedding photos.”

“My mom had made a comment about how anyone my sister would bring would be a fling, since she currently was not in a relationship.”

“When we went home that night, I brought it up to my Fiancé (we’ll call him Bertram).”

“I told Bertram that I really did not want a complete stranger in my wedding pictures, and certainly not someone my sister would only have been dating a few weeks, maybe a month.”

“Well just this past week Bertram and I sent out our wedding invitations, and they read ‘We have reserved __ seat(s) in your name’.”

“So for example for my Fiancé’s family his reads, ‘We have reserved 4 seat(s) in your name’.”

“When my sister received her invitation, hers read ‘We have reserved 1 seat(s) in your name’.”

“And boy was she upset.”

“She called me and told me that it was not fair that she could not bring a plus one.”

“I mentioned to her that she didn’t have the best track record with men, and that Bertram and I really didn’t want some random person nobody would talk about in our wedding pictures.”

“She said that I was selfish, and that since our Wedding was towards the end of December (the 29th) she had 6 months to find a boyfriend, and that it would be a serious relationship.”

“Now here I might’ve gotten mean, but I told her I would seriously doubt if she found anyone, given her track record for the absolutely worse men alive.”

“As I mentioned before rich men, who think buying gifts will excuse cheating, and lying.”

“She got upset, hung up, and said she will be attending my wedding with a boyfriend of 4 plus months because she will find one.”

“AITA for not giving her a plus one? And would I be an a-hole for considering to uninvite her all together?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they generally had trouble sympathizing with the OP for not giving her sister a plus one to her wedding.

Some supported the OP’s stance, agreeing that she was completely valid in not wanting complete strangers in her wedding pictures and pointing out that plus ones also result in added costs:


“For the last time, for everyone in the back, you don’t have to invite anyone to your wedding just because someone expects it.”

“Just like people are free to take that invitation and respond to it how they see fit.”-NotCreativeAtAll16


“There is never any obligation to offer single people a +1 to a wedding.”

“But I certainly hope this is a blanket policy you applied across the board rather than singling out your sister.”- Jyqm

Others, however, felt that the OP was being completely insensitive for throwing her sister’s dating history back in her face and that giving your sister a plus one to the wedding was only polite.

“Gonna go against the grain and say YTA.”

“You come across as very judgy and contemptuous of your sister, and I bet that tone was apparent when you explained the rule to her.”

“You might win the battle, but if you value your sister at all, you need to find more respectful, empathetic ways of communicating with her.”- growsonwalls

“You’re not an a**hole for not giving your sister a plus one, but DAMN, the way you talked to her?”

“You had so many options, and you chose to be an a-hole every time.”

“You knew that this was going to be something your sister would want to discuss.”

“Why on earth didn’t you prepare yourself for this conversation?”

“You should have had a clear, neutral explanation ready to go.”

“‘Because this is a small wedding, we only want people there that we have a relationship with’.”

“‘We don’t want someone there we don’t know’.”

“Of course, a discussion (and possibly an argument) would follow.”

“But at least you could have gotten off on the right foot.”

“Instead, what you did say, the very first explanation you gave her, was that she didn’t have the best track record with men.”

“Damn, girl, you went right for the throat.”

“You immediately made it personal, and you did so in a massively judgmental way.”

“You don’t approve of her relationship history, so she doesn’t get to bring a date.”

“You could have given her an explanation that wasn’t hurtful and judgmental, but for reasons of your own, chose not to.”

“She responded poorly, but you absolutely provoked her.”

“And as if that wasn’t enough, you then made absolutely clear that this was 100% about you disapproving of her choices, and that there’s nothing she can do to change your low opinion of her and her relationships.”

“Yeah, saying ‘Well I’m going to find a boyfriend right now just to spite you’ is her being petulant, but you basically told her you don’t think she’s capable of having a relationship with a decent guy.”


“And again, you had other options!”

“You could so easily have told her, ‘Well, if you start seriously dating someone, we can revisit this discussion’.”

“But that wasn’t what you said, at all.”

“And because she reacted badly again, now you’re thinking of uninviting her entirely?”

“I’m sure you love your sister, but it really doesn’t seem as if you like her very much.”

“At every turn during this conversation, you chose the most hurtful thing to say, even though there were blatantly obvious alternatives available to you.”

“I’m going with YTA, because while your sister also behaved badly, you really provoked her.”-FeuerroteZora

“I don’t know, you tell me?”

“You’re placing yourself on a pedestal and using your wedding as an excuse to belittle and shame your sister’s love-life, because her plus-one might be in some photos?”

“If I were her I wouldn’t even come, and years down the road when people ask why you can tell them you cared more about the wedding photos than your sister.”

“Get over yourself, seriously.”

“YTA.”- behappysometimes

“Oh, god YTA.”

“Just the way you wrote this.”

“Close family always get a plus one, even if it’s a friend so they’re comfortable and happy.”

“Unless you have about twenty guests, your sister gets a guest.”

“Your writing of this is seriously judgmental.”

“It’s not cute or fun.”

“Actually, don’t invite her at all. The whole thing sounds insufferable.”- whatsername235

It’s common knowledge that the more people you invite to a wedding, the more it’s going to cost.

And had any of us been in the OP’s shoes, much as we might be loath to admit it, we probably also would have preferred her sister come alone rather than bring a stranger with whom she very likely had no future.

But that is a thought that the OP should have kept to herself rather than telling her sister right to her face.

Still, the OP likely doesn’t need to worry about her sister bringing a plus one anymore, as chances are, her sister will not be attending either.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.