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Guy Called ‘Immature’ For Kicking Brother Out After He Ate His Wife’s Birthday Cake Before Her Party

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After the year we had with the pandemic, we all appreciate the small things a little bit more.

That definitely includes birthdays and making them more special.

But of course, there are people who want to ruin it, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

Redditor AstronautInTheOcean3 was fed up after his brother ruined his plans to give his wife a wonderful first birthday as a mom.

But when he was criticized, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he overreacted.

He asked the sub:

“AITA for kicking my brother out of my house for eating my wife’s birthday cake?”

The OP wanted to do something nice for his wife’s birthday.

“My ([Male] 28) brother Steve ([Male] 23) moved in with me after he got kicked out of his college dorm for repeated violations. He’s been staying with me, my wife, and our 6 months old son for a couple of months.”

“My wife’s birthday was days ago. I wanted to plan something special for her because this year has been very stressful for her from studying to becoming a new mom she barely found time for herself.”

“I help with all I could but because this is her birthday I decided to not let her burden herself with doing any work.”

“On her birthday, I made reservations for a spa session she has been needing for so long and I started getting everything done.”

“The cake arrived from the bakery at 11 am and I asked Steve and his buddy Jason to help with decorations.”

“I gave them a few tasks to get done while I went to take care of my son and get him to sleep.”

The OP’s brother didn’t respect his plans. 

“About half an hour later, I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and saw that both Steve and Jason were having large pieces of my wife’s birthday cake in separate plates.”

“I asked what the heck was going on and Steve told me to chill.”

“I got mad seeing the cake split in half and two large pieces of it were gone.”

“I flipped out and told him this wasn’t for him to take.”

“He said he and his buddy got hungry from helping me out and really wanted to try some of the cake because it looked delicious.”

“I yelled at him about how awful and disrespectful what he did was.”

“He said I was overreacting since he left enough for me, my wife, and the guests, but it’s not about that. He ruined the cake that I spent a week ordering from the bakery.”

“I told him my wife wouldn’t even like how it looked and won’t even get the chance to blow the candles.”

“He said, ‘I’m sorry, alright, but you’re just being a little too dramatic about a piece of cake.'”

“Then Jason said, ‘Yeah, man. Besides, who cares about some stupid candle blow, totally unhygienic!!! Is your wife like 5?'”

The OP wouldn’t stand for it.

“I lost it. I kicked Jason out and told Steve to pack and leave my house.”

“He said he couldn’t believe I’d seriously tell him to get out over something so small.”

“I told him this was my wife’s birthday cake.”

“He said he could talk to her and explain, but I had none of it. I had him pack and leave.”

“My father called and got all p**sed, telling me I was out of my mind to kick my brother out with nowhere to go over a birthday cake. (I live in the city where Steve’s college is but my family lives far away).”

“He and mom told me to go pick Steve up where he’s staying but I said no.”

“My actions were called disgraceful and immature for reacting this way over a cake.”

“AITA!?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some said it was about so much more than a few pieces of cake. 

“I don’t even like cake and I still understand and appreciate the cultural significance of being given a cake on your birthday. He took as much joy from op as the gifter as he did from the wife as the receiver. Absolute trash.”YoSaffBridge33

“He wasn’t kicked out over a cake, OP’s brother was kicked out due to his actions and attitude. It was his selfishness, disrespect, maliciousness, and inability to accept any responsibility that got him asked to leave.”thebeerlibrarian

“NTA.So often when people say they’re getting upset over something ‘so small’ (‘It’s JUST a piece of cake, Chill!!’) it is never about that small thing. It’s about the behavior and lack of respect for boundaries and simple requests.”SuperKamiGuru824

“Steve can’t have the cake and eat it too.”

“Stay firm and don’t let him back in your house or even your life for the next few years. He is just absolutely disrespectful, entitled, and a complete butthole. Your parents enable his g*d awful behavior and if you let him come back, it will just embolden him further.”

“He needs to learn that consequences have actions and your parents have to stop trying to sweep his chronic assholery under the rug. They are doing him a disservice in the long run and for you too by expecting you to tolerate and allow him to continue being a spoiled disrespectful jerk.”

“NTA”Remarkable-Car-7176

Others could not believe the brother’s and friend’s audacity. 

“Seriously. Oh, you were hungry? Order a pizza and split the bill with your friend, grab a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, some fruit ANYTHING other than two giant slabs from the damn cake you’re decorating for someone else. I mean who does that?”MSTllllllady

“EVERYONE knows you don’t cut a birthday cake before the party!!”

“If this was the only food in the house and they were starving that still would have made them AH’s. But to just blow it off like “meh, there’s enough left for the birthday person” is just mind-boggling levels of AH-ness.”

“Good for you for kicking those 2 out and thank you for taking such good care of your wife for her birthday! I’m sure it least the spa day turned out well and hopefully, she’ll learn to laugh at this cake story.”Einstwo

“It’s not about the cake.”

“It’s the fact that he showed he didn’t understand how important that cake was. So ruining was disrespecting OP.”

“If he would’ve accidentally dropped I don’t think OP would’ve lashed out like that. He purposefully destroyed something you spend time, energy, and compassion on, because HE WAS HUNGRY.”

“Anyone with mediocre social skills knows YOU DONT TOUCH FOOD FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION BEFORE THE HOST DOES. Jeez, preschoolers learn this.”Icy_Appeal4472

Some said getting kicked out of a dorm should have been the OP’s first red flag.

“Seriously, people constantly have stories of nightmare roommates that the universities just will. not. deal. with. The bar is HIGH, and that should’ve been OP’s first red flag.”

“Unfortunately the ‘but faaaaamily’ argument often overrides people’s instincts. It’ll be interesting to see how mom and dad deal with it when their precious boy turns up on their doorstep with his hands out.”DiTrastevere

“Idk (I don’t know) if this is a universal experience or not, but in my experience, it is D**N hard to get kicked out of a dorm building.”

“Violate quiet hours? You get a lecture. Go months on end without bathing? Another lecture. Get mold growing in your room because you leave stacks of half-eaten boxes of pizza under your bed? You get a cleaning bill.”

“Sexually assault multiple girls on your floor? You get a warning. Try to get into a girl’s room with your key? THEN you’ll get moved… one floor down in the same building. And this was ALL THE SAME PERSON.”

“For OP’s brother to get kicked out, he must have done something pretty f**ked up.”Inquisitor1119

“Seriously, I don’t even have kids and I’d be hesitant to take in someone who got kicked out of their dorm under those circumstances, because I’d be worried they wouldn’t follow whatever house rules we might decide to set; I definitely wouldn’t take them in if I had an infant or small child in the house!”

“I get that some universities are super strict with their housing rules, and if someone had been kicked out just for smoking weed one time, that’s a situation I might be able to sympathize with. But here, it was multiple violations, and OP doesn’t specify what they were, but I’m willing to bet that if I saw that person’s track record, I wouldn’t feel comfortable having them live with me.”VisualCelery

The OP’s family may have pushed back against throwing out his younger brother for eating the birthday cake, but the subReddit agreed with the OP’s actions. Eating the cake represented much more than taking a few bites: disrespect and the breaking of tradition.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.