Families are complicated. They are often rife with complicated emotions like embarrassment and jealousy.
Redditor Used_Mention_1364 was recently accused of jealous behavior by her cousin.
This accusation led the Original Poster’s (OP’s) cousin to make fun of the OP and call her “embarrassing.”
All of this drama pushed the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked,
“AITA for “embarrassing” my cousin and getting us kicked out of a restaurant?”
She went on to explain.
“I [Female age 25] don’t have kids yet. I never really wanted them growing up, but I figure I’ll eventually have kids in the future once I get my life together.”
“My cousin Sarah [age 29] has two bad-behaved kids from a previous relationship and a newborn baby with her boyfriend MJ [age 40].”
“Last night, my mother, sister, Sarah, and I went to a sushi restaurant – and this was my first time having sushi.”
“After we ordered, I had a hard time using the chopsticks. My cousin started obnoxiously laughing.”
“The waiter came over and asked me if I wanted “training wheels” which is a little plastic item that attaches to the chopsticks and helps you hold them in place.”
“My cousin laughed and said ‘sorry about her. She constantly embarrasses herself and us.’”
“I just gave her the side eye and put the training wheels on. When it was time to order desserts, her boyfriend MJ finally joined us – claiming that he was ‘busy.’”
“She went on to tell him how “stupid” and “slow” I was for not knowing how to use chopsticks and how the waiters and everyone around now know that I’m an embarrassment.”
“My mom asked her what her problem was, and she goes on a rant about how I’m so embarrassing, and it’s no wonder I’m ‘jealous of her being a mother’ and ‘no one wants to have kids with me.’”
“I finally had enough. I said, ‘I don’t have kids because I don’t want them to come out like your rude pieces of sh*t.’”
And, “You’re calling me an embarrassment? Didn’t MJ just have a baby on you with his wife? Your baby literally has a sibling a week apart from her.’”
“‘You probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife’s leftovers.’”
“I guess when she was attacking me it was fine because everyone turned on me. It got so loud that management had to get involved.”
“Sarah was screaming and crying, MJ was yelling at me, and my mom and sister were berating me for being ‘mean.’”
“Management brought the bill and told us to please pay it and leave.”
“My mom paid the entire bill, but my sister said I’m an AH for embarrassing Sarah and getting us kicked out – and how she’s probably going through postpartum depression.”
“Now…idk if I went too far, seeing as she’s probably going through some post-baby stress.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“‘You probably learned how to use chopsticks by eating his wife’s leftovers.’”
“You are my new spirit animal. NTA.” – QuesoDelDiablos
“NTA. Asian here, you don’t even eat sushi with chopsticks, it’s a traditional finger food lol.” “
As for cousin, hopefully, she’ll rethink about dissing you next time, and for mom and co., depression isn’t an excuse to sh*t on people.” – universalsh*tlord
“ESH- you suck least & I probably would have lost my sh*t, too, in your shoes (in which case I, too, would suck). Your relatives kinda had it coming, but nobody else did.”
“My God. What a dreadful scene. I feel awful for the other diners, many of whom were probably honoring Mother’s Day a night early if you are in the US.”
“You should probably give some real consideration to avoiding being in public with these people. (Maybe avoid them altogether, they don’t sound like they bring anything good to your life)”
“(Oh, and totally not the point, but chopsticks are super easy once you have the hang of them- there’s a learning curve, but then all a sudden, you know how.”
“Either go out with nicer people who will coach you instead of harassing you or fiddle with it at home. Even if it doesn’t come up often, it’s one of those things that is nice to be able to do confidently)”
“Edit to add- I can’t approve of the airing of dirty laundry, but I can and do applaud your line about how she learned to use chopsticks- magnificently brutal.” – rapt2right
“If you really said the chopsticks burn, off the cuff and in real-time; you’ll never be the AH to me.” – Iammeimei
“NTA. it needed to be said. you were literally defending yourself after being berated all night.”
“yes, she probably is going through post-partum but that still doesn’t excuse the fact that she was being cruel. you shouldn’t have to put up with that.”
“especially since you were just trying to have quality time with YOUR family.”
“i can understand it seeming mean, as some of what you said was :0 but it sounded like she needed a reality check.” – usemepls88
“ESH. Mildly, you for taking it as far as you did and not just skipping dinner with Sarah or leaving when she started; I’m guessing that this isn’t the first time she was an AH.”
“I don’t blame you for being upset, but I think it would’ve been better to leave.”
“Ultimately, Sarah was the big AH in this one. Your mother and sister are AHs for not having your back and making excuses for Sarah.” – FancyPantsDancer
“‘Sarah was screaming and crying’”
“Because you finally had enough, and you stopped letting her bully you. Bullies can’t handle the tables being turned on them.”
“If your family turns on you over her, then they are her flying monkeys.”
“NTA. Sarah certainly is, though, and so is your family who sided with the bully.” – Proofread_CopyEdit
“Why do so many people with kids think every single nonparent envies them and is jealous?”
“I have kids, but I can 100% understand anyone not choosing to.”
“It’s not that my kids are nightmares. They are all average and ‘normal’ but to pretend to be a parent isn’t the most body changing, relationship challenging, expensive, exhausting, worrying, thankless, stressful choice one can make is insanity.” – PaisleyPatchouli
“NTA. And if I had been a patron there at the time, I woulda have been AALLLL about the drama and the free entertainment, so don’t listen to the pearl-clutches here.”
“You probably made the night of a lot of people, especially with that chopsticks line 🤣” – Pharmacienne123
“NTA, if she had just kept it light and jokey about being unable to use chopsticks, then your response would have been over the top.”
“She randomly linked you struggling with chopsticks to not having children, which is pathetic, and your response was literally turning a mirror on her!” – shesingssoso
The OP went on to post an update.
“Thank you all for the overwhelming responses! I’ve been wanting to put Sarah in her place for a while now – and I’m glad I did! However, Sarah’s Mom got involved and is mad at me.”
“Apparently, MJ told Sarah that he and his wife were separating.”
“Sarah found out that he lied because she was secretly stalking his wife’s Facebook page – and got the shock of her life when wifey posted a newborn baby, and MJ was there for the birth.”
“Sarah did the math and realized that he got both of them pregnant the week of his birthday. She confronted him, and he confirmed it.”
“He also said that she’ll have to get over it, or he’ll leave. So, she stayed and is now constantly in shambles. Not my problem.”
“Now, onto the problem. She kept the wife’s baby a secret and only told her mom, who told my mom, who told my sister and me.”
“So, they said that they were pissed because I wasn’t supposed to repeat it.”
“BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. After like a week, that’s all everyone talked about.”
“Sarah’s mom (my aunt) reached out to me this morning, and she said that Sarah’s problem with me is that I always said I don’t like kids and only a “horrible person” won’t like kids – and that I was mean to her about her kids two months ago.”
“2 months ago, she wanted to go to a party with MJ and asked me to watch her kids. ALL THREE OF THEM. FOR FREE.”
“I told her no because they’re untrained, I don’t feel comfortable watching a newborn – and she’ll have to pay me to put up with the other two.”
“So, I guess that’s why she’s still holding grudges.”
“Regardless, Sarah’s mom said she was having a really hard time after finding out about the “outside” baby (who technically is the inside baby as Sarah’s baby is the outside baby but whatever), and she wants me to apologize for putting her business out there for everyone.”
“She got my mom and sister involved, so I just called Sarah and apologized. She just said, “I don’t care what you have to say,” and hung up.”
“Regardless. I held up my end of the bargain.”
“Hopefully, this gets blown over soon because ya girl is TIRED.”
Sounds like the OP’s cousin was more jealous of her than the other way around.
We with them all well as the navigate this baby situation. And that the OP might learn to use chopsticks we deftly as she can sling insults.