People really need to be more discerning about what internet influences they are inspired by.
The TikToks and YouTube videos seem to be causing a bit of havoc globally.
Just because a lot of the people in these "prank" videos survive, doesn't mean we all will.
And this brand of comedy may not be everybody's cup of tea.
Case in point...
Redditor Throwawy654677 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (23 F[emale]) and my husband (24 M[ale]) just had our first baby.
"My husband was so excited and was super supportive and caring throughout the pregnancy."
"The only thing is that he became slightly obsessed with watching YouTube and TikTok videos of husbands pulling pranks on their wives while in labor."
"I didn't mind at first but then he started casually joking about doing things he saw in the videos saying it would be funny."
"I clearly stated my distaste for them and asked him not to do anything like what he saw."
"He agreed and continued to joke about it time to time but I brushed it off since I trusted him and thought nothing would come of it."
"The day of the delivery came and I had been in labor for 8 hrs (12 hr total labor)."
"I had just finished another round of contractions when my husband let out the loudest fart, turned to me and said, 'what the hell have you been eating OP? It smells disgusting.'"
"I immediately recognized that as one of the pranks in the videos."
"Outraged at him not honoring what I asked him not to do I demanded that he leave the room."
"He started, arguing saying it was just a joke but I insisted and luckily the nurse helped get him out."
"I went through the last 4 hrs of labor by myself since my family lives out of state and I'm not close to my mother in law."
"After the delivery I told the nurse he could come back into the room and he was fuming."
"He started demanding that I tell him why I kicked him out."
"I calmly told him the reason but he was pissed. He hasn't talked to me in a week."
"His mom is taking his side saying that I was a complete *itch for kicking him out."
"Normally he will defend me from her but this time he completely agreed."
"I might be the a**hole because I know how much he was looking forward to being there for the birth of our first kid and especially when he got to cut the cord, but I still kicked him out and refused to let him back in."
"The nursed asked a few times if I wanted him back but each time I said no."
"AITA for kicking out my husband after a stupid prank he agreed not to do?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It's a tricky situation.
Let's hear some thoughts...
"NTA. If he was really excited about seeing his child be born, he would have honored your request."
"I can't imagine where this trend originated? 'You know what would be funny? If when my wife/SO has been in labor for hours, in pain, exhausted, being torn apart from the inside I played a prank on her.'"
"'Wouldn't it be hysterical if instead of giving her the support she needs, I humiliated her?'"
"That's your SO. He thinks like a 5year old, and his mother, who has given birth herself, says that's ok."
"That means in her eyes nothing he does, no matter who it hurts, is wrong."
"She will always support him over you. That invalidates her opinion in any argument you have with your husband."
"That she is even allowed an opinion in a private matter between the two of you is another issue."
"Do not feel guilty for robbing him of this experience, you did not, he threw it away all by himself." ~ efgrigby
"NTA - and what did he think was funny about that?"
"Also: how totally gross for the delivery room personnel, who definitely did not need to hear or smell a grown man fart loudly."
"Well, he played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. I'm so sorry this is messing up what should have been a magical time for you both." ~ Corfiz74
"NTA. And the silent treatment during the first week of your child's life is appalling!"
"My husband and I are caring for our child who just turned one week old."
"I cannot imagine going through the anxieties and sheer exhaustion without him as a team mate!"
"I am so sorry that your husband and mother in law are behaving so horribly." ~ PoisonApple413
"NTA. You were passing a small human out of your body."
"It's painful and scary, and you have the right to decide EVERYTHING in that situation. You told him not to do it."
"He was selfish and did it anyway. He felt his needs were more important than yours."
"He faced appropriate consequences, but still doesn't want to admit he was wrong even though his bad choice meant you had to deliver without his emotional support."
"I hope he grows up soon for you and the child's sake. Sound like his mama is an enabler." ~ Magnanimoe
"I know I sound like an old - but by God every time I read a story about tick tock I feel like it is breaking apart the fragile decency of our society."
"If I even once caught my husband laughing at a video of a husband playing a prank on the woman who was suffering to bring his child into this world I would have verbally torn him apart with all the rage pregnancy hormones can bring."
"Watching a second video would have gotten him banned from the bedroom."
"That stuff isn't funny and it isn't cute. Who can possibly watch the woman they love in pain and decide to play a prank on them?" ~ Music_withRocks_In
"NTA, especially since he is still ignoring you. He should have respected your wishes."
"I can understand the frustration of a father not being able to be there for a birth but this is his bed to lie in."
"How many times did you have to tell him not to do this?"
"My husband didn't witness the birth of our daughter bc of an emergency C-section where I needed anesthesia."
"BUT he knew that I was in charge the rest of the time."
"And if he would have joked about any of it, he would have been kicked out of a lot more than the delivery room."
"That's a hard lesson, but you are in a lot of stress and he shouldn't have made light of it." ~ Trick_Bathroom2236
"NTA. Life is not a series of 30 second clips. You wanted a present supportive partner and he blew it."
"You specifically asked NOT to do something, and he did it anyway."
"Time and again we see in this sub someone saying 'it's just a joke.'"
"No. No it isn't. It's a complete disregard for your loved one's boundaries and a total lack of respect for the faith your loved one has put in to you."
"'Just a joke' is very very thin veil for being a complete a**hat." ~ lassmanac
Well it sounds like all of Reddit feels childbirth already has so much stress involved, maybe it's not the best time to try out comedy material.
Let's hope OP and her hubby can have a start over with their new person.
Maybe they can all move forward.
Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.