Everyone is welcome to have their own opinions, their own interest, and their own religion, and we should understand that we won’t have everything in common even with our closest of close loved ones.
But some people refuse to accept that someone might not share their beliefs, especially when it comes to religion, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Once his family began to attend church, Redditor TheWizardy90 found it really difficult to spend time with his family, who turned every family event into a prayer circle and sermon.
When his family ruined his birthday by taking it over with prayer and planned to do the same for his son’s upcoming birthday, the Original Poster (OP) decided it was time to take a step back.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for telling my family that if they’re going to have a 15-minute prayer before my son’s birthday party dinner and lecture everyone about God, they should just not show up?”
The OP was struggling to stay in touch with his family now that they were religious.
“I am a single father of three.”
“My family (mother, sisters, and grandparents) became extremely involved with the Christian church over two years ago. So much so that it has become a chore just to visit any of them since all they want to talk about is their religion.”
“When we get together, it’s never, ‘How have you been? How’s work? How are you?’ It is always, ‘When are you going to join us at church? The Holy Spirit really helped me this week. Have you read the Bible I gave you?'”
“Honestly, when I have to spend more than an hour with them, I feel like I need to sleep for the next 12 hours to recover. I now try to distance myself from them as much as I can and just spend time with my kids.”
“Last year, my mother asked if she could take my kids to get ice cream and go to the park. Little did I know it was a church-related event and my daughter quickly called me to pick them up because ‘a man was speaking into a microphone and people were fainting all around them and crying to god.’ That was the last time I let them go with my family alone.”
His family’s religious demands ruined the OP’s most recent birthday.
“My birthday was in April and I had friends, family, and coworkers over just to relax and take time off, swim a little, and play backyard games.”
“When it came time to eat, my mother took it upon herself to make a huge speech about how it was and still is difficult raising a son who does not believe in religion and her testimony that god is the way. I felt the ambiance change and everyone got uncomfortable.”
“After that, I tried to blow it off and continued entertaining people who were there. That’s when my family brought out their pamphlets and began going to everyone and preaching to them, talking to them for ten minutes at a time.”
“I pulled my mom to the side and told her that this was not the place nor the time for all of that.”
“She apologized and they left soon after.”
The OP would not let the same thing happen at his son’s birthday party.
“My son’s birthday is coming up and while at my mom’s house for Memorial Day, she quickly asked me if it was okay to speak to some people about the lord at his birthday.”
“I took it upon myself to inform everyone if they are going to act like a congregation to a child’s birthday party to just not show up, period.”
“Everyone looked upset at me. Now I have them calling and texting me, saying I should be ashamed of myself for ‘denying the lord to people.'”
“I honestly want to just cut them all off because these past couple of years have been insufferable.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out to the OP that his family likely would not respect his boundaries.
“NTA. Don’t let them come. You know they will not respect your wishes.”
“They think your wishes are wrong, so why should they respect them? It’s inconceivable to them that their efforts aren’t exactly what their god wants and expects of them.”
“In their eyes, you’re someone who needs to be saved, and they undoubtedly feel that your son will benefit from hearing about their religion.”
“I wish you luck.” – miyuki_m
“They did all of that while at your house with your friends at your party. What nerve! It’s so disrespectful to hijack someone else’s event for their agenda.”
“It’s your event, your rules. Your son’s birthday party, still your rules. They need to respect your boundaries and can make other plans if they decide they ‘can’t’.” – AdkRaine12
“I’m having a hard time deciding which is worse, OP’s proselytizing parents at parties or people who get engaged at someone else’s wedding. Maybe the Venn Diagram is a circle.” – alleecmo
“Jesus said, ‘When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men… but when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your father who is unseen.'”
“The OP’s family isn’t doing this out of the goodness of their hearts. They are doing it for attention and to prove who the ‘better’ Christian is. They are the hypocrites, and they are the ones who are hard to live with. Not the OP.” – Batbuckleyourpants
“My sister walked out of her husband’s funeral because instead of a celebration of his life like she wanted, it ended up being a come-to-Jesus meeting.”
“Many people told her that if they knew the reason she walked out, they would have joined her. No one wants religion shoved down their throats unless they are expecting it, like at church.”
“NTA.”
“You also don’t gain many converts when the people are just p**sed that they have to hear this at a party… The OP’s family is really just wasting their time when they could be connecting with their family.” – SuccessfulPiccolo945
“She really said, ‘denying the Lord…’ Lady, WE’VE HEARD IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES. PLEASE STOP LECTURING US. WE KNOW ALREADY!!”
“I feel really bad for this kid if they attend, because all anyone will remember are the preachy religious weirdos at a kid’s birthday party. Then they’ll probably associate that with the kid, which won’t be great for their social life. ‘No, we’re not having [OP’s kid] over for a play date, his family are a bunch of pain in the a** freaks, and I don’t want to hear a d**n sermon at pick-up time.'”
“I really wish I could spend a day without any self-awareness or shame and just be an a**hole and force my opinions on people In inappropriate situations.”
“OP should say, ‘It’s my kid’s birthday, and the day is about him, not you and your need to convert people. If you can’t be unselfish enough to let the day be about your grandson, then you don’t deserve to celebrate it with him.'”
“But she’ll probably burst into tears and blah blah Jesus blah blah savior blah blah persecuting me me me me me.” – NothingAndNow111
Others empathized with the OP about thinking of going low- to no-contact.
“I would NEVER attend another event where I thought I (or my children) were going to be proselytized to.”
“Stand up for yourself. And your children. And tell your family to kindly f**k off. Tell them you’re Satanists.” – ommnian
“NTA! I would be very offended if I attended what I thought was a birthday party and got lectured about religion. I would warn them that if they came to your home and opened their mouth about religion, it would be the last time they would be allowed to visit.”
“Years ago, I went no contact with my mother because of her trying to force her religion on me. It took her two years to learn the lesson, but she hasn’t attempted to ‘convert’ me since.” – FoundationWinter3488
“There was a guy at my college campus with a big ‘Repent Now!’ sign and people were asking him questions.”
“I pointed out that public prophesizing was for hypocrites and asked, ‘Isn’t that what you are doing right now?’ And he said, ‘No, I’m not doing this for posterity. I’m doing it to save your soul. I’m doing God’s work.'”
“I don’t think anything I could have said (I was raised Catholic, and I know a thing or two) would have changed his mind. These people think they are saving us and that gives them a free pass to do whatever they want.”
“There’s really no having a relationship with them at this point. They can’t hear you. I’d personally go no contact or incredibly low contact until something changes, if it ever does. Sorry, OP. NTA to you.” – Master_Ad_7945
“Go no contact, OP. Your wishes are not respected by your family. Even the Bible says that there is a time for everything. Time to cry, pray, laugh, sing, drink, celebrate… They need to be better.”
“Cut them off so they realize that there are consequences for their s**tty behavior.” – Fair_Text1410
“NTA. I would text them the following:”
“‘I’m not ashamed, but you should be for assuming you hold the keys to heaven because no one else you encounter could possibly have their own spiritual life. That is extremely arrogant, rude, and false since God didn’t put you in charge of our part of the country that I’ve heard.'”
“‘You are not welcome at any parties or other events I hold unless you can develop some humility, because it’s not all about you and your religious beliefs. If you ever apologize for pretending my home is your church and my guests are your congregation or just lost souls to pick up, then we’ll talk.'”
“‘In the meantime, leave my son and myself alone until you recover from thinking you are saints and remember you have family that you need to treat like real people with feelings.'”
“Best of luck, OP.” – julesk
“Tell them you have no opinion about their religion. It’s the fact that they are constantly being HORRIFICALLY RUDE and refusing to care about the feelings of others that has brought you to this place.”
“Nothing in the Bible requires them to be this rude. It’s a choice they are making and it’s not okay. The way they are treating you is not loving and is incredibly disrespectful. Make it clear that it is their behavior that is unacceptable, not their beliefs.”
“If they refuse to give you or anyone else any respect, they don’t deserve to be part of family events anymore. Full stop.” – Adventurous-Fig2226
The subReddit was appalled by how the family’s new beliefs had already begun to tarnish family gatherings and encouraged the OP to protect his son’s upcoming birthday party at all costs.
Not only was a child’s birthday party not the right time or place for a religious discussion, but the OP’s son also deserved to have the positive memories of gathering with friends and celebrating his birthday, not witnessing his family lecturing people and potentially having friends distance themselves from him because of his family’s behavior.
If the family really wanted to celebrate their grandson’s birthday, they’d adjust their priorities, fast.