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DJ Shuts Down Surprise Proposal At Wedding Reception Without Realizing It Was Bride’s Brother

A DJ's hands mix the tables

Another person’s wedding isn’t always the best time to make a part of the event about you.

That really should be cleared and discussed with all the major players.

If the happy couple is cool with it, great.

But everyone should communicate that point.

Otherwise, chaos ensues.

Case in point…

Redditor Significant-Pass-784 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for ruining a proposal at a wedding?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So, I (27 M[ale]) am a part-time DJ.”

“I mostly DJ for just family and friends.”

“I’m not really a professional, just do it for a little side cash from time to time.”

“Last weekend I got invited to DJ on the cheap at a wedding for a friend of a friend.”

“At the wedding, while everyone was on the dance floor one of the guests we’ll call him ‘Kevin’ approached me and asked if I could play the song ‘Golden Hour.'”

“It was an odd request because at this time all the guests were literally hopping around and dancing but I was told to take all requests so did it anyways.”

“When I started playing it the dance floor started to clear up and then Kevin invited a woman onto the dance floor they started slow dancing for a bit.”

“A few people joined them (including the bride and groom).”

“Then at that one part of the song, Kevin got down on one knee and I knew right away that he was going to propose.”

“I didn’t think it was right especially because they were in the middle of the dance floor with all eyes on them and I kinda felt like if this happened I would take the fault because I was the one to put on a romantic song out of nowhere.”

“So instead of letting that happen as soon as he pulled out the box, I started to play ‘BOOGIE’ and turned up the volume instead.”

“After that, Kevin just side-eyed me and got up and everyone else sat down.”

“After that nothing else really happened and the tension was very thick.”

“After the wedding, no one really brought it up and I obviously thought that I wasn’t the a**hole and the friend that was friends with the bride said that I wasn’t.”

“But then a bunch of the family started to message me.”

“It turns out that Kevin was the bride’s brother and the family kept asking why I did that.”

“I told them that proposing at someone else’s wedding was not appropriate.”

“They told me that I shouldn’t have an opinion because I was just the DJ and now Kevin got publicly humiliated because some people knew this was going to happen.”

“So they were taking videos and live on Instagram so all their friends could see.”

“I responded with ‘That would’ve made the newlyweds hurt’ but then they came back with ‘You shouldn’t have assumed that the bride didn’t want that.'”

“That part got me thinking because I was mostly communicating with the bride about arrangements and she was very chatty before the wedding.”

“But after that, she kept giving me one-word answers.”

“So I assume she is mad at me.”

“But then again when she paid me.”

“She almost doubled the amount for what I was asking for with a generous tip?”

“So I’m not sure if the bride actually knew.”

“I think she would’ve told me.”

“But AITA for just assuming?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“If the bride knew this was going to happen and approved it, she should have told you beforehand.”

“Going with NTA.”

“Your heart was in the right place.”

“Protect the bride and groom’s day.” ~ KronkLaSworda

“Ya, maybe hindsight is 20/20 here.”

“But if I’m the guy proposing, I’m making sure every important person (like the DJ you’re requesting a special song from) is in the know.”

“Make sure one of the bride or groom tells them that it’s chill if the guy uses their wedding as the spot to propose.”

“Honestly I’d want both the bride and groom to tell the DJ together that it’s ok.”

“Maybe I’m just an over analyzer but I would be playing out every possible thing that could ruin the proposal before actually doing it and making sure those things are figured out.”

“And if I can’t shore it all up then I’m not proposing.” ~ istrx13

“Agree 100%.”

“If I’m the DJ, ain’t no chance I’m honoring a request like that without getting verbal face-to-face approval from bride AND groom.”

“And I want a 3rd party witness there to verify.”

“Preferably one of the other vendors.”

“Proposing at someone else’s wedding is tacky AF.” ~ REF_YOU_SUCK

“I wonder if the brother is the golden child.”

“And this is the first time he didn’t get what he wanted.”

“This is why the bride also was so happy with OP and paid him this way as a ‘thank you.'”

“If the proposal was planned, OP would have got the information.”

“I guess he also got a tracklist like for the first dance. NTA.”  ~ EvilFinch

“Yeah, the bride’s mood change is to be expected especially if she is coping s*it from her brother for ruining ‘his special day.'”

“OP NTA and take that tip as confirmation you did the right thing.”

“In the future maybe just for your own sanity add a question into your discussions about how they want announcements and proposals handled.”

“For Eg, ‘For no extra cost to you, I offer an improper proposal/announcement interruption service,’ and ‘Is there any particular song you would like me to play in should this service be required.'”

“Make the conversation about it with the bride and groom fun and joking but let them know you are willing to have their backs on the matter and that you will take the blame from the family should anyone kick up a stink like this time around.”

“It would also be a way for the couple to let you know if they have prior knowledge of someone planning this and are consenting.” ~ Environmental_Art591

“This!!!! NTA.”

“As a bride, I was very clear with our DJ on expectations, including how I did not want ANY requests.”

“I am a music person, and every song was picked for a reason. Call me a bridezilla if you want.”

“But anyway, the DJ was so nice at my wedding and worked great with the other vendors.”

“However, he still felt the need to ask my husband if he could take requests because he had gotten a few.”

“I don’t know why my husband of 2 hours didn’t ask me or remember what I said about our playlist being every song meant something special to us.”

“But anyway – he played the first request an 8-minute salsa song, and it was our first argument being married.”

“My husband corrected the situation, letting the song finish, but told them no more requests.”

“The next one was from his High School buddy ‘Shorty got a big ole butt’… So thank goodness.”

“We still argue about this from time to time. It’s been seven years.”

“Something similar happened to my MIL too, not the same DJ but requests got out of hand, and she cried.”

“Thank you DJ for looking out for the bride.”

“If this was known by her beforehand, or even if ‘Kevin’ told you it was pre-approved, it seems you know where your loyalties lie.”

“At worst, though, just ask her?”

“See if she had been ok, and you made it worse, or if she’s upset everyone else made her wedding about a non-event anyway.” ~ Ok-Pop-1059

“NTA. A bunch of families may have known about this, but that doesn’t make it okay.”

“They planned to mess up the bride’s day by hijacking the wedding for their own purposes.”

“It was clearly not OK with the bride.”

“The bride either didn’t know or was coerced into allowing it.”

“The double pay and the generous tip show how happy it made her that you messed up this plot.”

“To those who wanted to hijack the occasion, you’re the villain.”

“To the bride, you’re the hero, even if she can’t publicly acknowledge it.”

“Rest assured, you did well.”  ~ extinct_diplodocus

“NTA. On this day you worked for the bride and groom, not some guy that wants to propose during a wedding.”

“If this was going to happen, you should have been told about it. It’s pretty standard to absolutely NOT propose at a wedding, and you made the safest assumption.”

“If the bride is upset, that sucks, but you made the right call. How are you supposed to know if it was planned?”

“If the bride knew? If the bride was okay with it?”

“If the groom was okay with it? Who the guy even is?”

“You know nothing here.”

‘All you know is that it’s typically inappropriate to propose at a wedding, and you reacted accordingly.”

“If they’re upset with you, they need a reality check.” ~ UsefulAccident3031

OP gave an update…

“A lot of people said to ask the bride and groom.”

“I did, but like I said their answers were vague.”

‘Bride said it was fine, but it was probably just to spare my feelings.”

“I didn’t want to push because she clearly had a lot on her mind at the moment.”

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

You did what you thought was right.

And it sounds like maybe the bride is lowkey happy about it, too.

You did your job.

Play us out, DJ.