Often at the beginning of a relationship, everything will feel like sunshine and rainbows, but once the happy couple takes the next step and moves in together, the storms start rolling in fast.
Because sometimes it takes being around someone 24/7 to realize that you don't want to be around them 365 days a year for the rest of your life, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Spiritual_View4192 had just recently moved in with her boyfriend, and everything was good, except for her boyfriend's showering habits.
Instead of using a towel after, he would leave trails of water behind him, and after slipping multiple times, she wasn't sure she wanted a drip-dry boyfriend.
But when she brought up her concerns and asked him about using a towel, the Original Poster (OP) was surprised when her boyfriend spun the issue back on her and accused her of being "high-maintenance."
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for wanting my boyfriend to use a towel after his showers, which he says is 'high-maintenance' of me?"
The OP was excited about her new relationship with her boyfriend, except for one thing.
"My boyfriend (29 Male) and I (27 Female) recently moved in together."
"Overall, things are fine, but there's one thing that's starting to really get under my skin."
"Whenever he showers, he walks out of the bathroom completely dripping wet, leaving puddles all over the floor."
To make matters worse, the OP's boyfriend didn't recognize the problem.
"When I pointed out that it's gross and dangerous (I literally slipped once), he said, 'Just don't walk there then.'"
"I asked him to at least keep a towel in the bathroom to dry off before walking out."
"He said, 'You're so high maintenance. It's just water.'"
"I told him it's not just water, it's his water, and I'm tired of stepping in cold puddles."
"He rolled his eyes and said, 'You're overreacting, I'm not changing how I shower.'"
The OP wasn't sure what to think.
"Now I'm wondering if maybe I'm being dramatic over something small, but it feels like such a basic courtesy?"
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some found this to be such a weird hill for the boyfriend to "die" on.
"NOR. Speaking as a man who has known a lot of other men in my life... We use towels. It's very weird to not use a towel after a shower." - Foreign-Cow-1189
"My son even bought his own towels AND bathmats for his own apartment! And he's 26."
"NOR, OP. You might have to send this one back." - Slw202
"Her man doesn't care about anyone else, and she's going to need to figure that out, sooner rather than later, I hope." - oroborus68
"He doubled down and called her high maintenance... as if 99 percent of people with access to towels don't use them. NOR, NOR, NOR." - Typical2sday
"Her: 'Please dry off with a towel so there isn't water all over the place.'"
"Him: 'Godd**mit, you're so effing high maintenance!'"
"This escalated very quickly. I'd be concerned about what else he'll escalate, and to what heights."
"Break up, and enjoy your safe floors, peace, and lack of gaslighting." - Nortex_Vortex
"NOR. I've never not used a towel after a shower. That behavior would get under my nerves quickly."
"The rest of the experience with him would have to be amazing to balance it out, but with his attitude, I bet the bloom will be coming off the rose soon, then you'll realize he's just a pr**k." - bgthigfist
"I don't get out of the shower until I've dried myself off fairly well… and even then, I wrap a towel around my waist and step onto a very plush bath mat." - indyarchyguy
"He shows no concern to compromise on something so small and has seemingly no negative impact on him if he does as you ask... imagine what it's like when a real conflict starts to occur."
"You honestly didn't even have to give a reason, and he should've just been like, 'Oh, ok, does it bother you that much? I'm sorry.'"
"Good luck with whatever is wrong with him, but if I were you, I wouldn't stick around to find out, let alone try to 'fix it.' NOR." - katastrxphe
"NOR. It sounds like he is high-maintenance, honestly. High-maintenance can be a lot of things."
"It can be a person who is super demanding (and it's NOT super demanding to expect someone to dry off after their shower)."
"Or it can be a person so adverse to anything they don't specifically want to do that they make everyone else deal or pick up after them." - Empty-Stomach5873
Others agreed and pointed out that this was a huge safety concern.
"It's not even the fact that he doesn't use a towel that made me concerned. It's that she slipped and potentially got injured, and he showed approximately zero concern that his actions caused harm to her." - Shadowphoenix9511
"The lack of concern for her safety is the real issue, not the towel itself." - KriosV
"I've also fallen on my butt and it got my tailbone, thus affecting my spine. It is not something simple to recover from. You can't even sit for months." - questioningsince1912
"I don't think this guy has ever lived with anyone. When I'm alone, I just step out of the shower and grab a towel from the cupboard in my bedroom. Later, I drag a mat along my path to dry the floor, mostly so I don't end up slipping and making an unplanned acrobatic performance."
"That's basic decency to MYSELF, let alone someone I'm supposed to care about enough to want to live with and maybe even marry someday." - Southern_Iron04
"NOR. Just because he is a lake monster with no maintenance that insists on potentially damaging the floors, it doesn't mean not wanting to get your socks wet from puddles in your own home makes you 'high maintenance.'"
"No, you're at the regular amount of maintenance, which is not leaving everything wet.
"I'm not sure how he can even stand not drying off. I would personally freeze half to death at room temperature while soaking wet."
"And don't even get me started on the safety concerns. I'm clumsy as f**k. Maybe lake monsters are graceful. Either way, NOR." - miserableschoolchild
"Sometimes when you live with someone, you find out that they're an inconsiderate, selfish, and childish a**. This is one advantage to living together before deciding whether you want to be with them forever or not."
"Personally, I would not stay with someone who is so flippantly dismissive of my feelings and concerns, especially when it comes to personal safety."
"High maintenance is the one who doesn't clean up after themselves. Maybe he'd prefer to go back to splashing around as a single person. NOR." - StephenNotSteve
Not to mention, as some pointed out, what dripping dry could do to their floors.
"This isn't even a man-or-woman behavior thing. This is unhinged behavior."
"It should be common sense for an adult that leaving huge wet puddles all around your house isn't good for your house. Unless he has all stone floors, which I doubt. He's an id**t and probably not worth dating." - Mothra_Stewart69
"I know someone who did that, and it ruined the floors. Not just where they walked and dripped, but basically all of the floors, because of warping and rippling. They had to basically start over to repair all the damage." - ForwardMuffin
"NOR. If you leave water on hardwood floors, you will create hundreds of dollars in damage in each place the water pools. If you're lucky enough for the problem not to spread underneath." - KlooShanko
"My grandmother used to do this. Or maybe she was just getting water on the floor while showering. Either way, it didn't take long of that before her bathroom floors started falling apart. The tile wasn't enough to protect it. And that was JUST in the BATHROOM." - 0hNova
"NOR. Legit had an upstairs neighbor cause my ceiling to cave in from doing s**t like this." - UncFest3r
"Mold. This is how you get mold." - toodiisoon
"This is how you get wet socks. No good relationship has wet socks." - DifficultWing2453
"This is how you get a broken back, warped floors, wet socks, mold, bugs, and lose your significant other, all in ten days. Turn THAT into a movie, why don't you." - TwistyTwister3
The subReddit was nothing short of alarmed by the situation that the OP found herself in, simply because it was such an easy problem to fix, and especially since it was still early in the couple's relationship, when people are typically on their best behavior to try to impress their partner.
But the OP's boyfriend was already accusing her of being "high-maintenance" over something that most people wouldn't like to live with, which was also a safety concern and a home maintenance concern; there was no telling what the OP would have to put up with in the future if she stayed.
















Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Cancel Date After He Makes Too Many Sexual Comments
Dating can be really hard, because let's be honest, as fun as it's supposed to be, there are some very strange prospects out there.
While some might just be socially awkward, there are definitely some walking red flags, ready to push every boundary, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Suspicious_End_441 had been talking to a guy for a little while and was planning to go on a first date with him when he started sending her increasingly inappropriate text messages.
But when his texts went far past her comfort zone, especially for someone she'd never met, the Original Poster (OP) planned to call off the date and truly never meet the guy in real life.
She asked the sub:
The OP had been talking to a guy and was looking forward to going on a first date with him.
"For context, I (30 Female) met this guy online and have been talking to him the past few days."
"He asked me out, and we planned a date for today. He seems really nice so far."
"I like him, but he’s made a couple of comments that maybe seem like a red flag to me."
"First off, I did my nails for the date, and he asked me to send him a picture, so I did."
"Then he made some comment like, 'Those would look great wrapped around something.'"
"I kinda brushed it off because I know that’s how some guys are... but it did give me the ick a little."
"Then I asked him to tell me more about himself, and the second thing he told me was that he has a high sex drive."
The potential date texted:
The OP no longer liked the idea of dating the guy.
"Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude, but this made me slightly uncomfortable. I’m wondering what reason you would need to tell this to someone you haven’t even met yet."
"I didn’t think he would be expecting sex on a first date, but this made me rethink."
"I’m also recovering from a surgery that I had three weeks ago, and he knows this. So that literally isn’t even an option for me, not that I would wanna do that on a first date anyway."
The OP considered never meeting the guy in person.
"I kind of feel like he’s making too many sexual comments too quickly, especially considering I didn’t engage with his first comment at all."
"Am I overreacting, feeling like I maybe want to cancel the date and block him?"
"I just feel like these comments are an indicator of his expectations... or maybe he is just 'being a guy'?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some had second-hand "ick" from reading that text message.
"NOR. My face when I read that text: [Dan Levy from 'Schitt's Creek']" - Unlikely_Captain_499
"I’d nope out right after the nails comment. After I blast him for being completely out of line." - WHYohWhy__MEohMY
"If he’s that comfortable saying stuff like that before he meets you, imagine what he’ll say after he knows you better." - ScrambledNoggin
"Gross. That joke should be saved for wife or long-term girlfriend where you know you'll get a laugh... or more accurately, an eye-roll and a 'threat' to not sleep with him for the next three months, LOL." - HovercraftIII1258
"Every time I get my nails done, my husband says something similar to that, and I always reply, 'I think they'd look good jammed in your eye sockets,' and we both laugh, LOL. But we've been married for over a decade. When we met and when we were dating, he was incredibly polite and possibly TOO slow in making advances. THIS is gross." - wingin_it0618
"This is exactly what I expect as a response from a man heavily in the dating scene right now. Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control." - BrayIsreal
"If he's giving you the ick, listen to that. It's not going to go away. Don't waste your own time or his. Plenty more fish in the sea, girl." - Zieglest
"As a man who is heavily in the dating world right now, that sounds like such a turn off, and any self-respecting girl who wants an actual relationship would not even talk to him anymore after this. It's so cringey and makes all of us guys look like there's no reason we want to go out with them other than getting laid. As a guy, it's really annoying; it makes girls weirded out by all of us. Sigh."
"Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control."
"That was the dumbest thing he could say to kill his chances. I wouldn't bother with him." - BrayIsReal
"NOR, I wouldn’t want to go anymore either. Making multiple sexual comments before even meeting someone is purposeful, and I doubt he remembers that you can’t do anything due to your surgery or even considers whether you want to."
"Don’t brush off how your gut makes you feel. If you are uncomfortable, then you are under no obligation to go." - AliBari
Others urged the OP to listen to her gut, not to go on that date, and to immediately block the guy.
"If he is already this forward, making sexual comments to a complete stranger, then it will only increase from here; he’s not going to suddenly stop. OP, if he already makes you feel uncertain or pressured, then don’t bother." - saiphxo
"Your gut is telling you something and wants to keep you safe. Don't ignore it." - SparkEli1
"Stay far, far away from this guy. Block. Don't look back. Men like this use high sex drive as a disclaimer for zero boundaries later." - CompetitionLankys
"Trust your intuition. Don’t go."
"I (39 Female) am very comfortable with casual sex and hook-ups. When single, I have never needed an emotional connection with a man to let off some steam. I don’t need him to make me feel special or like we have potential. I don’t need to know his hopes and dreams. I separate men into 'just sex' and 'potential for more' easily."
"I do need him to show the most basic level of respect and not be a creep. I would stop talking to this guy the instant he started speaking like that, even if my intention was to just f**k him."
"We are already talking, we are already about to go on a date, why is he turning it creepy sexual, what is that doing for either of us. It just speaks to a lack of judgment, I wouldn’t want to trust. If he can’t handle a basic text conversation without being a creep, why would I trust him to be alone with me?" - TheCa11ousB**h
"Ok, so I'm a degenerate, but even I wouldn't say something like 'those would look good wrapped around something' to a person I'd never met."
"I mean... do I have to be dad here and say the obvious? It's some guy on the internet who's looking to f**k. Is that really what you want? He can't even be bothered to type the d in the word 'and.'"
"Also, your nails look cool." - skippybeefree
"I’m more insulted that it’s just a terribly uncreative line. This guy's a bum!"
"Also, it's a huge red flag is the first thing he describes himself as a clean freak and needs things done his way. Sounds like a control freak, which would make me dip out immediately." - JeromeBarkley
"Only you know what you need to do. Feel safe. Feel comfortable. Feel SAFE!"
"If you don't, then cancel."
"Some men (I am a man) sometimes say way too much way too soon, and some men don't know how to hold a decent conversation. Sometimes just telling them how you feel about the sexual comments and seeing his reaction will tell you more than anything else he has ever said to you up until this point."
"But always remember you can choose to back out at any point in a date, even if you turn up to have dinner but can't walk in. The same goes for him as well if he turns up but doesn't walk in. We all have the right to feel safe and comfortable, especially on a first date." - Ok_goal6591
It was possible that the guy was just excited about the date, nervous to talk to someone new, socially awkward, or just joking at an inappropriate level.
Unfortunately, though, it was much more likely that these comments indicated the guy's expectations for the first date and how he would treat the OP if she set boundaries, especially regarding his inability to perform after surgery for safety reasons.
While it would be fun to meet someone new, it was much safer for the OP to wait for someone else.