It can be difficult to pull off a surprise announcement when big news comes your way. Usually someone was inherently involved or someone blabbed to the rest of the friends and family.
So when you find yourself right on the cusp of the big reveal, it can feel too good to be true.
And for one Redditor, who posted her experience on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit, it was.
The Original Poster (OP), known as sadgirl1260 on the site, left the post’s title vague and provocative.
“AITA for making my sister leave my house at a family dinner?”
First, OP set the stage with some important context.
“I (21-year-old female) live with my now fiancé (25-year-old male) and we like to have our families come over for dinners or to hang out.”
“My fiancé proposed over the weekend and we did not tell anyone except my sister (27-year-old) and his best friend.”
Up until that point, everything had gone according to plan.
“We wanted to surprise everyone with the announcement and invited them over for dinner and my sister knew we would be announcing our engagement.”
“At the end of the meal before we brought out dessert we told everyone that we had some exciting news.”
But then this happened.
“This is when my sister cut me off mid sentence and said ‘I am pregnant again!’ Everyone in the family was so excited and happy for her and her husband.”
“I think I stood for a solid minute with my jaw dropped.”
“My grandma then made a comment to me about how sweet it was to have made this dinner for her announcement.”
However “sweet” was about the last thing OP was feeling at that moment.
“I was furious and walked up to her and her husband and said ‘please leave’ and she looked like I had just stabbed her with my words.”
“She started crying and saying how I wasn’t excited for her and I was just jealous of her life and she didn’t think I even liked my nephew (2) whom I love and spoil.”
That struck a nerve.
“I told her then that she had to leave that she and her husband could not stay anymore.”
“My mom was furious with me and told me I had to apologize after my sister left my house.”
“Her and my dad went on about how insensitive I was being and that was disrespectful to send my pregnant sister out of my house.”
“I apologized to her and my family but I still don’t think i was in the wrong. I still have not told my family about my engagement. So AITA?”
OP later added an edit outlining how her parents went on to respond after the dust settled for a bit.
“I FaceTimed with my mom and dad this morning and spoke with them calmly about everything that happened.”
“My dad agreed with me that is was disrespectful of her to take my moment and my dinner.”
“My mom on the other hand said I was still insensitive and it was unfair of me to ruin my sisters moment and that I could have announced it a different day and let her have the moment.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A clear majority of people felt certain OP wasn’t the a**hole.
“NTA. Your sister sucks and intentionally ruined your big moment by making it all about her. You were right to kick her out and don’t feel even slightly bad about it. Any drama or problems caused by this are entirely her fault.” — Hi_Im_Dadbot
“NTA. You should tell everyone the dinner was for your engagement and your sister knew beforehand. If anyone still sides with her, I’d go LC with them, and I wouldn’t include your sister in your bridal party and/or planning.” — NinjaBabaMama
“NTA. YOUR house, YOUR dinner, YOUR news, she KNEW IT and HAD to put the attention on her, though this sounds familiar…a sister did this and it turned out she wasn’t actually pregnant, just wanted the attention, and the family supported her.” — YourImaginaryFried
“Why did you apologise? It was a truely shi**y thing to do. My advice – don’t bother telling your family and if they find out from someone else and want to know why you didn’t tell them then explain” — Hot-Currency-1881
Plenty of people assured OP she hadn’t been an a**hole, but they did empathize with her family members too.
“NTA your sister sucks for sure but I think you probably should have told your family. After your grandma made that comment you should have said that your sister hijacked the event and you told her it was to announce your engagement.”
“By not telling everyone it makes it look like your sister announced her pregnancy and you got so mad you kicked her out. So people are gonna think you are an asshole instead of realizing your sister is to blame.” — FaizerLaser
“Okay, both NTA and YTA. You are not NTA for being angry with your sister, she definitely did that to take the attention away from you and onto herself, and NTA for asking her to leave, I would probably have done the same.”
“Where YTA is in not telling your family what was going on. On the surface, it must look very petty to your parents because they don’t have a clue what you were going to tell them. All they saw was you being mean to your sister because she said she was pregnant…”
“…if, however, they knew that you had made the dinner because you wanted to give them your happy news and your sister knew this and deliberately upstaged you, then I think they would have reacted quite differently. So I think you should tell them what was really going on.” — history_buff_9971
“So right from the start, your sister is the a**hole. We don’t know whether her husband knows about the engagement, so the jury is out on him.”
“You, obviously, are NTA.”
“Your family are also NTA because, from their perspective, you had a totally unprompted outburst and kicked your sister out for no reason. I’m sure that if they knew she had knowingly stolen your moment, they would be on your side.”
“Congratulations on your engagement, I hope you get the chance to announce it properly soon ❤️” — goosenschmirtz
“You’re not an a**hole but you played this completely wrong. You must seem like an insane person to your family if you haven’t yet told them about the engagement.”
“You should have bitten your lip at the engagement event, taken the credit for hosting the event, and announced your engagement later without your sister present. Then plot your revenge.” — GumpTheChump
All OP can do now is share the big news and hope her family understands why the original timing of it all was so bad.