It’s simply second nature for parents to worry about their children.
As a result, when they leave them under someone else’s supervision, even for a matter of minutes, it’s not unusual for them to give this temporary caregiver the third degree as to everything they did when their child, especially if some things were questionable.
That can make things tense if this individual happens to be the child’s other parent.
Redditor EbbLeather8675 was a bit confused when her fiancé told her that he managed to sneak in a run while watching their daughter.
When he made it clear exactly how he accomplished this, the original poster (OP) let her anger and dissatisfaction be known in no uncertain terms.
Wondering if she overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For asking my fiancé not to leave our daughter alone in her stroller while he runs track?”
The OP explained why they were not at all pleased after she recently left her daughter under her fiancé’s supervision.
“I came home from work today, and my fiancé told me that he went for a mile run while our 1-year-old daughter took a nap in her stroller.”
“I asked how he ran with her staying asleep (and we don’t have a jogger stroller), and he said he left her under a shaded tree while he ran around the track.”
“I was pretty adamant to him that this was not ok, and I did not want him to do that ever again.”
“He insisted that there were many factors that made it ok, including that the track was fenced in, near an elementary school, there was no one but older people and high school kids around walking to get lunch, and that he is a fast runner and he had eyes on her and the surrounding area at all times.”
“In my opinion, none of these factors really matter as someone could watch the situation and swoop in at any moment. The track is actually also off a walking path that is frequently used by homeless people in the area, with some sleeping close to the park.”
“He is insisting that he is right, and I became upset, asking him never to do that again.”
“He responded, ‘I’ll never tell you that I’m going to do that again.'”
The OP was left to wonder.
“Am I totally out of line and being an a**hole by overreacting? Or is he being an a**hole by not seeing how this is wrong?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was largely in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole.
Nearly everyone agreed that despite her fiancé’s protests, he wasn’t giving their daughter his full, undivided attention, and she had every right to be angry. A few even urged the OP to question if marrying him was a good idea.
“‘He responded, ‘I’ll never tell you that I’m going to do that again.'”
“That, right there, would make him an ex.”
“I’d like to point out that if a good samaritan called the police because they found an ‘abandoned’ baby, your husband could be charged with child endangerment or abandonment, which could open a whole criminal and/or CPS case.”- AdIllustrious1468
“What would he do if someone’s dog slipped through their collar and went after your baby?”
“What would he do if a little kid was running and knocked over the stroller?”
‘What would he do if someone saw an unattended baby and called the authorities because they don’t know who the guardian is?”
“What would he do if someone took the child?”
“There are so many ways this could be harmful or deadly to the baby.”
“It’s irresponsible and it doesn’t matter how fast he can run. He couldn’t outrun any of those scenarios in any capacity that matters.”
“If he can’t understand the gravity of this, then I couldn’t trust him to watch the baby by himself.”
“Especially not with his passive-aggressive ‘I’ll never tell you that I’m going to do that again’.”-CrimsonKnight_004
“My parenting attitude is hardcore ‘free range.'”
“I’m a helicopter-free zone, yet, this scenario freaks me out.”
“Anything can happen in an instant to a 1-year-old.”- invisiblebyday
“I don’t personally think her taking a nap in a clearly visible, shaded area while he runs around a track is a big deal.”
“At least where I live, you could be at a place like that the whole day and no one else would show up (and he’s close enough to see her the entire run and hear any cries).”
“But this part is absolutely a problem:”
“He responded, ‘I’ll never tell you that I’m going to do that again.'”
“He is flat out saying that he’s going to disregard your opinion in the future and just lie to you about it.”
“NTA, this isn’t okay.”
“Infants can have needs happen quickly, and if he cannot reschedule his run, he shouldn’t have had sex.”
“Babies are babies.”
“They’re vulnerable, and while he is faffing around, can’t go ‘help I’m having baby’s first anaphylaxis’ or ‘help some psycho is kidnapping me!'”
“He needs to understand that these fears are not nebulous but real dangers.”
“As the child of neglectful parents, this is also a concern.”
“What.else does he dismiss that is a real and present danger, and will he need to see it in action?”-FirebirdWriter
“I’d be rethinking him being my fiancé.”
“How could you ever trust him again if his response is not to tell you in the future?”
“That seems wildly irresponsible.”
“What if someone just walked off with her strapped into a stroller?”
“He can’t watch her responsibly until you get home?”- oqvis
“Clarification, are you both American?”
“If so NTA, but if not, then I may lean towards NAH.”
“I know this can be considered fine in other cultures, but in America, it is definitely something I would be worried about.”
“That being said, if he has other parents that also like to run, could he next time just coordinate with a group and maybe have 1-2 people stay with the babies while others run and swap?”- akricketson
“This is dangerous.”
“Dude needs to invest in a jogging stroller if he wants to do this.”
“I don’t care how fast he runs, we live in a messed up world, and anyone could swoop in and grab her and maybe be a faster runner than him.”- Constellation-88
“NTA and ‘I’ll never tell you that I’m going to do that again’ is very concerning independent of the circumstances.”
“You need to have a serious talk.”- Kindly_Egg_7480
“NTA, and I really hope you show your fiancé all the replies here.”
“I would think long and hard about if you can truly trust him after this after he didn’t apologize and said he would do it again but not tell you.”- gabbyella88
“The safety of your child is way more important than his feelings.”
“It takes only a second for a child to be snatched up.”
“Children should never be left unattended.”
“I’ve read/heard of way too many stories where situations like this did not turn out well.”
“If he really can’t wait until you or someone else can watch the child, then he needs a running stroller (if that is financially feasible).”- Onebrokegerrrl
There were a few, however, who didn’t believe the OP’s fiancé put their child in any real harm, even if they still understood why she was upset.
“If it’s a an outdoor circle track which is on average .25 miles, wouldn’t he be about .1 miles away from her at any given point?”
“To me, that isn’t very far and close enough to cut the track to get close to her fast.”
“I’m assuming if the track is closed in, he could see anyone seedy and run straight towards the kid.”
“I can see why you’re worried, but if he is doing everything he is saying, I feel like he did all that research and care because he feels he needs the run.”
“Does he get free time to run at other times?”
“Can you go with him to see what he can and can not see?”
“Did he think you would genuinely be okay with it, or was it an ask for forgiveness later situation?”
“Being a mom and dad for a one-year-old has to be brutal, and I hope you two get through this.”-Petite_Tsunami
It’s perhaps easy to think why the OP’s fiancé didn’t see a problem with leaving his daughter in the stroller.
However, as others have pointed out, any number of things could have happened to his daughter if he even looked away for even a second.
But now that he openly admitted to the OP that he may not always be honest with her, it seems he’s given himself even more problems than he already had.
Including the likely possibility of a canceled wedding or a runaway bride.