What one’s body looks and feels like is their choice. To many, that seems pretty obvious.
But not everyone is so deferential, as a recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated.
The Original Poster (OP), known as noseworriesbeunhappy on the site, explained the body area in question right in the post’s title.
“AITA for not wanting to get a wart removed from my nose?”
OP kicked off with some body positivity.
“I [32-year-old female] have a wart about the size of a sesame seed that sticks out on the side of the bridge of my nose.”
“It doesn’t bother me, and I actually think it makes my face look more interesting since I’d otherwise describe my features as in the realm of conventional attractiveness but boring.”
But apparently not everyone agreed.
“My fiance [34-year-old male] and my mother [66-year-old female] both have been asking me to get it removed for a while.”
“Today my mom told me it looks like I have ‘graffiti on my face,’ my fiance regularly tells me I’d be prettier without it and that he doesn’t want to look at it in our wedding pictures.”
“I don’t understand the big deal: it’s small (I hardly look like a cartoon witch) and it’s on MY face, but they say they’re the ones who have to look at it.”
OP then shared some relevant backstory.
“If it helps at all, my mom has had all manner of facelifts and laser facials and my fiance regularly has veins in his nose that I can’t even see zapped away.”
“Am I the a**hole for telling them to deal with looking at me?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A hefty majority of responses from Redditors assured OP that she hadn’t been an a**hole at all.
They had all kinds of questions about this fiance.
“NTA. You wanna marry this guy?” — ollygollymolly
“NTA but I worry about you marrying someone that thinks like that. You are going to age, preferably together. You might have some kind of accident that results in scarring tissue. You might want and have children which can sometimes drastically change your body. And what about the kids if/when you have them?”
“He’s probably going to comment on each and every little ‘imperfection’ they have as well. Coming from experience, those kind of comments really hurt your self-esteem and self image…” — Ikaryas
“NTA. Your fiancé is a real piece of work though. He sounds like the type of guy who would threaten to leave you if you ever got in a car accident that scarred your face or something. :/” — trash_subreddits_acc
“NTA, but they are AHs. Do you really want to marry someone who’s more bothered about how your wedding pictures will look than your self-confidence? Telling you that ‘you’d be prettier if…’ is the ugly thing here, not your wart.” — flannelshirt1862
“NTA. What the fu** is wrong with these people. It’s your face. You should be under no obligation to change it, especially via surgery. Your fiancé’s comments are particularly disturbing.” — iliedim-dyinginside
Others understood OP’s perspective, but had some concerns about the wart.
“YTA Warts are contagious infections, you need to have them removed before you spread them.”
“Extra YTA if you’ve been in a swimming pool with them.” — ik101
“Wart or mole?”
“If it’s really a wart and it hasn’t disappeared on its own, then I’d get rid of it before you wind up with warts in other areas – warts are like verrucas in being caused by a virus, and they can be easily transmitted to other people/other areas of the body via the virus remaining live in shed skin.” — Normal-Height-8577
“ESH warts are contagious and if your fiance is often touching your face (kissing for example), you’re putting him at risk of getting a wart too.”
“(But he could also just stop being in contact with your face if you prefer keeping your wart) (but he is an AH too for more worrying about wedding pictures than your health)” — Fun_Grapefruit_7015
“ESH. Your mom and partner are being shallow tools, and you’re entirely justified in being upset with them for this.”
“YTA for a completely different reason. Warts are contagious from skin-to-skin contact. Assuming your partner is touching you, you are putting him at risk of contracting warts himself. You’re also putting other people who get close to you at risk.”
“You should get it taken care of, not because it looks unsightly, but because you’re creating a health risk for others.” — theresbeans
To address these criticisms, OP added some information.
“Info: I guess wart is the wrong word, it’s probably a skin tag, it’s been there for at least 15 years and hasn’t grown/spread.”
“I’ve gone to dermatologists about other things since it’s been there and none have commented on it despite looking at my face closely.”
Some took that caveat into account.
“Edited to change my verdict to NTA since OP updated her post and it’s skin tag not a wart. So NTA, if you like it and it’s not hurting you then keep it but… and I don’t normally jump to this, but you might want to reconsider this relationship.”
“What he’s going to be like as you get older? Botox your laugh lines? Diets to fit a certain image? If you want to do these things, great! But you’ve made it clear you love your perfectly imperfect skin tag and he still pushes.”
“Make it about breast implants instead of a skin tag and how would you feel? That may seem like an extreme scenario but control starts small. Hold your ground OP. Most people that have changed something cosmetic due to peer pressure talk about the regret they had after the fact. Two famous examples of this are Jennifer Grey and Enrique Iglesias.” — turquoisevanislander
“After you clarified that it’s not actually a wart but a skin tag, sooooo NTA! Don’t EVER change your physical appearance to please someone else, no matter who they are.”
“And trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I had a big beautiful mole smack in the middle of my forehead, and people constantly told me that they thought I should get it removed.”
“I refused, because I loved that damn thing! I actually cried when the doctor told me they had to remove it, because he suspected that it might have been cancerous.” — Celinder_pigen
So if what OP says is true, she can feel fully confident that her nose looks just fine.