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Redditor Excludes Friend From Dinner Party Over Post Saying She Won’t Eat At Cat Owners’ Homes

cat reaching on table for fish
AlexSava/Getty Images

If you own a cat with fur, you know that keeping their hair contained is next to impossible.

It gets all over your clothes and furniture. As a byproduct of that, sometimes it ends up on or near your food or beverages.

As a cat owner, it’s just part of life. But for others, it may not be accepted as well.

A woman whose friend made a public statement about cat owners turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Howcanibequiltya**in asked:

“AITA for not inviting someone for dinner because she made a big deal out of how she doesn’t eat at the homes of people who have cats?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“A while back I posted a picture to my IG Stories of my cat sitting NEXT TO my counter as I was cooking. On his own stool. He was watching.”

“Again, he was NEXT TO my counter. Not anywhere near the food. He doesn’t go on counters. He doesn’t go near the food.”

“My ‘friend’ Rose reposted it with her own caption, a puke face emoji and ‘You can’t eat everybody house’.”

“I ignored it and went about my business. She is very much the type of person who just regurgitates whatever popular phrases she sees on social media.”

“Pineapple on pizza = monsters, raisins in cookies are why I have trust issues, I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs, ‘hot girl’ walks, ‘hot girl’ books, delulu, I’m going to hold your hand while I tell you this, is the X in the room with us right now, etc…”

“She has other traits that make up for it, but truthfully I do tend to avoid one-on-one time with her.”

“About a month ago I hosted a small get together… to show off some Le Creuset cookware I obtained—getting older is weird. I had a whole little shindig with home prepared food, lots of fun times between pals.”

“I didn’t invite Rose.”

“She found out after folks posted on their IG stories and confronted me over it, saying that I was ‘giving high school mean girl vibes’. I told her that she has made it clear she doesn’t eat at the homes of people who have cats, so why would I have invited her to a dinner party?”

 “She got defensive and said that she could have just come and not eaten anything. I said that in the future, maybe she should be more careful about what she says, because to me it was very clear.”

“Rose has continued to tell people I’m giving ‘high school mean girl to nurse pipeline’—I’m an accountant—and all that.”

“Am I really the a-hole for not inviting her? Why would she have wanted to come?”

The OP summed up their situation.

“I didn’t invite Rose to my home for the dinner party, and this action would have made me the a**hole for excluding her from an event with a lot of our mutual friends.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

“OP, NTA. Now I think you have good reason to stop associating with Rose and blocking them on social media if you want.”

“If not, you’re still NTA; you aren’t obligated to invite somebody to your home.”

“I strongly suggest you stop debating this with Rose; if your friends bring it up, just say, ‘I didn’t invite her, and she blew up.’ Don’t get dragged into the mud here.” ~ NorthRiverBend

“‘I’m gonna hold your hand when I tell you this…. you’re not entitled to my time, cooking, or entry to my house Rose. Mmkay? It’s giving delulu vibes’.”

“She should understand that.” ~ Driverpicksthetunes

“NTA, your house—you can invite (or not) anyone you want, for any reason (or none at all), but Rose has given you plenty of reasons not to invite her.”

“I wouldn’t want to hang out with this person, either.” ~ 7hr0wn

“Tell her your cat said she wasn’t welcome in your house, and then block her. NTA.” ~ Dangerous_Ant3260

“NTA. Words have meaning. You were simply believing what she said and acted accordingly.”

“She’s free to be upset about it but in the end, you respected her opinion and didn’t expose yourself to what likely would have been a ridicule-fueled evening.” ~ IamIrene

“NTA. You didn’t invite someone who was not only pretty explicit about not wanting to eat around cats but inferred that it’s a vomit-inducing offense to do so. Actions meet consequences.” ~ Narkareth

“NTA. You are completely within your rights to not invite someone into your home who has made it clear that she has a problem with how you keep your house.” ~ Puppyjito

“NTA. I also like quoting the internet and shoving memes down the throats of my friends and family, but not at the expense of anyone I know.”

“She’s trying to hide being mean by acting like she’s some quirky internet influencer. She’s not; she’s just mean.”

“And since she’s so stuck on the mean girls thing, just post a picture of Regina George asking, ‘why are you so obsessed with me?’.” ~ CaptainSneakers

“Insult my cat and me publicly and still expect me to be nice to you? 100% delulu. NTA.” ~ Rude-Parsnip-3591

“Block her and end all contact with her. She doesn’t like you, and I don’t think you like her much.”

“Why are you in each other’s lives? NTA. You get to invite who you want, your home, your rules.” ~ hadMcDofordinner

“NTA—You’re not giving mean girl vibes. She’s giving super-entitled, insufferable jerk vibes.”

“I have grown comfortable with the idea that if someone thinks I’m a cow for enforcing my boundaries, then I will happily moo.”

“Honestly, it’s preferable to be treated like a doormat until you snap, and suddenly your Le Creuset cookware is spattered with their gore.” ~ LostArtofConfusion

“Total NTA. If she feels that way about cats, why would she even want to come?” ~ jenorama_CA

“Surely NTA. She said it herself not to eat at anybody’s house, so what you did was just right. You did not invite someone who doesn’t want to eat at other people’s houses. She did it to herself not getting invited, so don’t be bothered what she is thinking.” ~ lilyxdiaz

“This woman Rose enjoys drama. And by coming to your house, she was going to look for ways to ding you and post about your dirty disgusting house online because you have cats.”

“You decided to side step all of that. She is mad you cut her off and denied her the opportunity.”

“She probably doesn’t even give 2 sh*ts about Le Crueset, your cooking and frankly, probably doesn’t care about you as a friend.”

“Good on you. Your logic about ‘why would she have wanted to come’ is spot on. NTA.” ~ BeeYehWoo

“NTA. Unless you’re a fourth grader passing out invitations during class, you can invite whoever you want to your parties.”

“You didn’t even have to go to all these lengths about cats and social media to explain yourself.” ~ RelevantSchool1586

“NTA, seems like she is just now learning that actions have consequences. No way she actually think she could publicly shame you and still get invited, that’s real ‘delulu’.”

“She sounds very chronically online and self-centered, no amount of good traits make up for the entitlement. I mean, I use those phrases too, but never in a serious context and DEFINITELY never to insult/belittle someone else.”

“That’s just weird, honestly. Hope you take a hard look at this relationship and realize it’s not worth the headache.” ~ vibeagra

“Rose is just salty she missed out on complaining to a captive audience, I wouldn’t invite her to anything in the future either. It’s clear you two aren’t close, so I wouldn’t bother with her anymore. NTA.” ~ QuietShadeOfGrey

“She wanted you to invite her to a DINNER PARTY where she would not eat. Does she know what a dinner party is?”

“The point is to eat and talk about the food while eating it, maybe a drink or two after, then everyone leaves. What would she be doing while everyone else ate and discussed the food she’s not eating?

“Girl is insane. NTA.” ~ SwordTaster

“NTA and I would’ve removed her from social media as soon as she reposted your photo with such a nasty caption. She was SUPER rude, and she’s ‘delulu’ to think you’d invite her over after that!” ~ MandeeLess

“NTA—what kind of friend reposts someone’s story – for everyone to see – with a nasty comment? What a d*ck thing to do.” ~ painted_unicorn

“NTA. I would have taken a screenshot of her post saying she’d never eat at a house with a cat—put it in the comments of her mean girl post with a caption saying since this is your cat, she made herself pretty clear that she didn’t want to come over and eat.” ~ Bwethy

“NTA—but let her know that posting crap about you online is one of the reasons she probably won’t be invited in the future. Or can you silence her?”

“Like Facebook has the option to silence someone for a period of time or just not have them on your page?”

“But you still are linked. I had to do this with my dad (political reasons) and one of my SILs.” ~ bored-panda55

When someone says they don’t want to eat at your home, it’s odd for them to complain when they aren’t invited over to eat.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.