Sometimes our good deeds are rewarded swiftly with a paved path to hell. No matter how good our intentions were, the other person cannot receive them as such and so, our fate is sealed. We must pay the consequences.
A Redditor whose account has since been deleted was the subject of one such path to hell, when he tried to warn a female classmate in a fitness class that she was showing her nether-bits to the entire class. Unfortunately, said classmate took this very poorly, even accusing the Redditor of harassment.
Unsure if he’d done something wrong by pointing this out, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers.
He asked:
“AITA for telling a girl that her butthole is showing at crossfit?”
Our original poster, or OP, told us about how he was working out when he saw London, he saw France.
“Because of shmashmona fixes, we have finally been able to reconvene with restrictions.”
“Long story short, because of the gym setup and how crossfit works, you are basically in a long line for some of the workouts.”
“I was behind a girl, Pam, for this particular one which involved bending over a lot for weights. Because of this, at the bottom of the move, her leggings were like 95% see through and everything was visible.”
“I approached Pam discretely after class to politely let her know. Upon telling her, she immediately got cold and huffy as if it were my fault.”
After telling her, he was approached by a third party.
“I get that it’s embarrassing, but it’s better to know than to not and, like, it’s her a**hole on display at class.”
“I didn’t think anything of it until the next class, after which the coach, Jeff, asked to talk to me after class.”
“He told me that ‘another patron’ had said that I made sexually explicit comments to her and that he had to confront the issue.”
“He asked if I could possibly switch to another class time because this person was now uncomfortable.”
He refused to switch, since he was only telling her her leggings were see-through.
“I said no because (1) I can’t and (2) I don’t want to. I then said that I was uncomfortable because ‘the other student’ was exposing her genitals in class. He said he would look into it with the gym owners and let me know what the next step is.”
“AITA? What I specifically did/said was talk to her after class alone (there’s a cool down area), put on my best gay voice, and tell her:”
“‘Hey, just to let you know, those pants are see through during certain moves, sorry if this is awkward but I thought it was better than you know than not.'”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors did not think OP had done anything wrong.
“One time an older gent took me aside in a hallway at work to tell me my skirt had gotten stuck in my belt while I was sitting in a conference room.”
“I was so grateful and thanked him. He mentioned later on a different date that he’d been worried because often women get mad and snap at the person telling them if it’s a dude.”
“And I just don’t get it. I’d rather one dude sees and tells me than 100 that don’t, yannow?”~BUTTeredWhiteBread
“Right, everyone knows you need to do the squat test on any leggings, especially cheap ones, for crying out loud.”
“He did her a solid and is taking the embarrassment out on him, which is a super crappy thing to do. Her butthole was on display.”
“Things would be worse if no on told her and t0 happened multiple times. Also, no one should have to view your entire c**ch while working out, so telling her was the right thing to do for everyone.”
“I always wonder if the people in see through leggings know it and like it, and maybe she’s mad because now she’s been told and can’t play the oh I had no idea card.”
“He didn’t sexually harass her, he basically got a porno view for his workout.”
“The audacity of asking OP to switch classes because she was uncomfortable. Good comeback on his part and true. NTA for sure, gym should be on OPs side here.”~wildeflowers
“So I once had someone nicely take me aside and tell me my gym leggings were see through. I squat tested them when I got them!”
“But didn’t realize that the number of wears and washes I had put them through had worn them down enough to change that.”
“So it’s good to give the benefit of the doubt. But definitely not cool to take out embarrassment (I was definitely really embarrassed!) on the person who is nice enough to tell you.”~Preshesme
“As a guy, whenever I need to make a woman aware of something like this, I try to ask another woman to do it.”
“When I was in high school it was just that I didn’t want the woman to be uncomfortable knowing a guy just saw something.”
“But now that I’m an adult I do worry about the possibility of someone taking my comment the wrong way and that ending bad for me.”~Flabnoodles
People said that, were they in the same situation, they’d want to know.
“NTA like full on NTA.”
“F-ing reddit I tell you ‘NTA but it depends on how you said it’?”
“It doesn’t, you are not required to look at someones literal a**hole in the gym, this dude probably reacted far nicer then I or anyone I go to the gym with would.”
“And if your leggings are 95% see-through so you can literally see someone’s a**hole, don’t give me that shit that she didn’t know. Is she blind? Doesn’t she own a mirror?”~Atmoriani
“NTA. You were just trying to help. And you WERE uncomfortable.”
“My gay roommates used to absolutely squirm when I talked about ladybit stuff. Which I then did more often because that’s the kind of friendship we have lol”~rationalomega
“NTA. I would want to know if I was in her position. This is assuming you were polite/respectful when you told her.”
“Its ridiculous the gym is asking you to switch classes, instead of the person who wore see through clothing to the gym…”~corycorycory09
“NTA. I’d definitely want to know if I was exposing myself in any way in a public setting. Would I be embarrassed being confronted about it?”
“Absolutely but I’d rather be embarrassed upfront once instead of unknowingly embarrassing myself every class by continuing to expose myself and making the people around me uncomfortable.”~ThiighHighs
“NTA. I honestly, 100%, would want someone to tell me this.”
“I’ve accidentally walked around with size tags on. And I’m q big person.. no one needs to know how big. LOL”
“And I saw people looking, but finally some nice lady told me. Trust me, the embarrassment is real, but it would have been so much worse if someone didn’t tell me.”
“This dude wasn’t being mean or inappropriate. He was doing her a real solid.”
“If you see someone in this situation, I would 100% want you to tell me.” ~ SephirothAngeal
“NTA honestly I would want to know if my pants were see thru!”
“Like I would be embarrassed but like dang thanks for telling me so I do not wear these in public again!” ~ Bubbly-Kitty-2425
“Okay, NTA. Also, it sounds like she’s wearing tights of some kind.”
“What kind of leggings are that see through?! Omg!”
“I would have said something probably, either that or alerted the staff that she’s showing her butt. Literally.” ~ Bridazzles
“NTA. I’m a personal trainer and I’ve taught many bootcamps where I could see through women’s leggings. I’ve also worn leggings that were see through.”
“I tried always to discretely tell women when I could see what was under their pants and most of the time they were shocked/embarrassed/stated they’d never wear the pants again.”
“Obviously it comes much better from a woman.”
“I once, on Christmas eve, went out and ran a bunch of errands while wearing a new pair of leggings. It was super busy so obviously I passed by a lot of people.”
“My last errand of the day my mom joined me. I walked a bit ahead and she caught up to me to let me know she could see my bum through the leggings.”
“I was still wearing underwear though. I guess I made a lot of people happy or uncomfortable that day.” ~ Mellbxo
“NTA. I once came out of the toilet with my skirt tucked into my underwear.”
“THANK GOODNESS a man who saw it came up to me discretely to tell me, so I could correct it immediately and avoid further embarrassment.”
“I would not have wanted him to keep quiet. It was embarrassing and I couldn’t look at him after, but boy was I glad he told me.” ~ artbug
“NTA. It’s kind.”
“He’s not commenting on her body to objectify her. He’s letting her know so her private areas can be appropriately covered if that’s what she wants.”
“I don’t know a single woman who wouldn’t want to know that their a**hole was exposed to a group of strangers unknowingly.” ~ Jadienn
“NTA. I’m a woman & have absolutely experienced both harrassment & wardrobe malfunctions.”
“It doesn’t matter someone’s gender, if someone approaches me discretely & respecfully to inform me of something like that I would be grateful.”
“It sounds like you did your best.” ~ Samsterhamsandwich
Perhaps the girl was embarrassed, but that was no excuse to take out embarrassment on OP.
“NTA. Leggings are thin as f**k and usually see through. I wear bike shorts under mine so people don’t see the pattern on my damn underwear.”
“Like, don’t wear panties with your leggings if that’s your prerogative but also maybe think about if you’re gonna be exposing your genitals to non-consenting people if you’re gonna do it.”
“Time and place. Tell your coach that you came to the gym to workout, not be stared down by some careless woman’s brown eye the whole time.”~scootypuffs9
“NTA. If it were me I would be really embarrassed by you telling me that, but being embarrassed by one person seeing is better than a whole gym of people seeing something like that.”
“I was (discreetly and kindly) told by a guy there was blood on the back of my pants when I was at school and he gave me his jacket to wear to cover it, he had sisters and said it was no big deal.”
“He phrased it ‘Hey I think you sat on something there’s something on your pants, here’s my jacket.'”
“Turns out it was only a tiny bit and not really that noticeable but girls at that age will torture themselves over something like that.”
“I returned the jacket the next day and there was no more mention of it, and I’m still grateful for that more than 15 years later!”~SabrinaSpellman1
“NTA. As a girl myself, it is SO EASY to get solid non see through leggings to work out in. Hell, every work out legging made in the last 5 years are solid opaque.”
“And why wasn’t she wearing underwear? Im assuming for the pantyline but, then again, they have no pantyline underwear.”
“She seems a bit off to me.”~Annahsbananas
“NTA. I’ve been on the receiving end of a very similar comment. My initial reaction was defensive, but I only said ‘Thank you.'”
“Upon checking myself in private, I threw the leggings away. I appreciate the heads up, know it was for my own good, but in the moment I still felt annoyed/defensive.”
“I can only imagine I would have felt worse if a man had told me. Still, I’d rather know, than not.”~JenGwen323
At the end of the day, OP really was just on the receiving end of a very unfortunate interaction sprung from embarrassment.
Hopefully this girl has moved on and gotten better leggings.