Birthday gifts can be difficult to think of and shop for, but generally, it can be a pretty fun experience.
It’s important, however, to do the proper research before buying gifts for someone, such as favorite colors, clothing sizes, and more.
But some things simply shouldn’t be used as gift ideas, suggested the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
The Redditor, who has since deleted his account, discovered this the hard way recently when he made an improper purchase.
But when his girlfriend was upset, the Original Poster (OP) still debated who was in the wrong.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for buying my gf (girlfriend) a dress in the wrong size?”
The OP recently purchased the wrong gift for his girlfriend for her birthday.
“I (25 [Male]) bought my gf (24 [Female]) a size 10 dress from Aritzia for her birthday.”
“I’m not familiar with women’s sizes, so I just took what I thought would fit her.”
“When she opened it, she was p**sed because she’s a size 4 and asked me if I thought she was fat.”
“I was surprised, because I could just return it and get her another one, but she said it showed I didn’t care about her feelings, because I could have just checked the tags on her clothes or asked her.”
The OP had mixed feelings about the experience.
“On one hand, she told me she used to make herself throw up in high school to lose weight and is very touchy about her appearance, so I should have been more careful.”
“But on the other, I think she’s being kind of dramatic over a small thing that was an honest mistake.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were surprised the OP didn’t do his research at home.
“B/c (because) how hard is it to look in your gf’s clothing for the tags when she’s in the shower? He didn’t do the bare minimum you would need to do to buy someone clothes: know their size.” – usernaym44
“In Australia, a size 10 is a medium, size four is a xxs (extra-extra small), how the h**l do you look at your girl and think she isn’t tiny?”
“Now, I will admit that I am 35 and only recently learned that fact, but I have never bought a dress for a woman. I have paid for one to buy a dress and even arranged for another woman to take her out to buy it.”
“But this guy did the rookie move of not researching sizes and even styles. I learned so much about diamond rings when I proposed to my ex-wife, including finding out her ring size by comparing her rings and getting her sister to double-check.” – Tokenvoice
“He’s not a 90’s sitcom dad. This trope of the lovable bumbling husband who just can’t comprehend the slightest bit of tact needs to go. Men are smart and men are thoughtful.”
“This guy isn’t dumb-but-well-intended, he’s just lazy and careless.” – DelsMagicFishies
“I mean, I know women’s clothing as sized by some weird form of black magic combined with chaos theory, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a size 4 and a size 10 be remotely similar.” – YellowBinary
Others recommended not giving clothes as gifts.
“I honestly thought my boyfriend wrote this for a moment, cause I had this exact situation yesterday.”
“DO NOT BUY CLOTHES AS GIFTS UNLESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE OTHER PERSON WANTS!!!”
“He gifted me this horrible-looking dress. It’s in a color I hate, it makes my figure look absolutely awful and I just didn’t have it in me to lie and tell him I like it and then have to actually wear it.”
“Just…. Don’t gift clothes. Ever.” – AquaVantas
“I bought my girlfriend some lingerie for Valentine’s Day and according to the size listings, it was the right size. When the day came, I gave it to her and guess what? It was the wrong size.”
“The tag was the correct size but it was made, like, several sizes too small. I have bought from this place before and never had a problem.”
“She was livid, and I don’t blame her once she explained why she was upset. Don’t buy women clothes as a gift!!” – arrakis2
“I just think you should steer clear of the too-personal-to-gift trifecta; Clothes, perfume, shoes. Just way too hard to guess at whether they will fit or be the right one, unless they have added a specific item with size to a wish list or something.” – TodayIAmMostlyEating
“YTA. She’s right – you could have just figured out her size or honored the big, glorious rule: don’t get clothes as gifts.” – Novel_Ad_7318
Some were concerned for the girlfriend.
“The gift was clothing for his girlfriend with a history of ED. In addition to being thoughtful enough to try to figure out the right size (personally, my partner has asked friends), he should have considered that she is very touchy (read easily triggered) about things having to do with clothing.” – Master-Swan
“‘I think she’s being kind of dramatic over a small thing.'”
“THAT is what makes him TA. He is minimalizing her issues, and seems to think she should just be shrugging off what to her is a very big deal and a trigger.” – SayerSong
“Also, a size 10 is nowhere near a size 4. I’m imagining it now and it does seems comically insulting if we go under the assumption he thought it was a good fit for her.” – kattykitkittykat
Though the OP may have not thought the situation was any big deal, the subReddit agreed it could have seriously impacted the girlfriend’s mental health, let alone their relationship and how the girlfriend will think he views her.
The OP might take a word from many in the subReddit, stating that clothes are not the greatest gift. Perhaps take a loved one out shopping or provide them with a gift card instead. At the very least, he will need to check the tag sizes next time.