Parents can be very touchy with other people's behaviors around their babies.
A lot of parents are always on high alert for risk.
It's their job to protect.
So sometimes they need to call people out for their actions around their kid.
This can lead to a lot of drama.
Redditor Critical-Ebb-7945 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA for telling someone to 'get out of my baby’s face?'"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My baby is two months old."
"We were just on a walk through our downtown area."
"Someone walking by saw I had a baby and started saying, 'Oh! A baby!! She’s so cute!”'
"This woman had a lit cigarette in her hand."
"She was getting awfully close to my baby, cooing over her."
"I moved the stroller away from this woman, trying to get my baby away."
"The woman moved closer."
"At one point, she turned her face slightly away and smoked her cigarette."
"She tried to turn back to my baby and get closer, and I snapped and said, 'Get out of my baby’s face.'”
"She huffed, harrumphed, and told me, 'You don’t have to be so rude.'”
"This all happened in a span of maybe 30 seconds."
The OP was left to wonder:
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA. She shouldn’t have a cigarette so close to the baby; it’s basic decency." ~ Better_Mistake_5184
"Pretty wild, when we’re out walking with our baby, people will actively cover their cigarettes/step back/turn away to avoid getting smoke in her face." ~ j_natron
"NTA. Now that you are a mom, the only person you have to please is your child."
"And even without a cigarette, never let anyone near your baby."
"Strangers, especially since you don’t know what diseases they might have."
"Even relatives shouldn’t be close if they aren’t vaccinated."
"My daughter is an adult, and we were told decades ago, don’t take a baby around strangers until they are three months old."
"Wanting to coo over a baby is normal, but you should put a net over the stroller."
"The baby will get fresh air and see everything, but people can’t get too close." ~ Malibucat48
"NTA. Even if she didn’t have the cigarette, you would still be NTA."
"She could be the cleanest person on planet Earth, and you would still be NTA."
"She could not have even been a stranger, and you would still be NTA." ~ RealisticTadpole1926
"NTA. Nothing against babies, and maybe it’s a me thing, but I truly don’t understand people who throw common societal boundaries out the window when they see a baby."
"Cigarette or not, you don’t need to get close to a stranger's baby." ~ Hungry-Luck-5481
"It's very hard for me not to get up in a baby's face and tell them they are precious."
"I, however, do not do this and tell the parents they have a lovely child and walk away 😭."
"Because all of them are still separate people and not there for my enjoyment." ~ Several-Adeptness-83
"Exactly!"
"Babies or animals, you don’t blindly approach and get up in their business."
"Even if I want to acknowledge someone’s baby is cute, I do so from a polite distance so the parent feels safe and I go about my day." ~ ASpooky*itch
"NTA. Even without the cigarette, getting that close to an unknown baby is rude, and doing it without asking is even more rude."
"Especially while the baby is still that small and doesn’t have a good immune system yet." ~ AlmostChristmasNow
"NTA. I'm surprised you even tolerated someone that close to the baby."
"I didn't want anyone so much as looking at my son at that age." ~ Pristine_Ad5229
"NTA. I used to hostess at an upscale restaurant, and once my (inept) baby daddy brought him to my work because he had spilled the pumped milk I left with him."
"After feeding, I was saying goodbye to the guests on their way out, and had one woman who was clearly drunk, asking to hold my baby repeatedly."
"I was firm in saying no and realized sometimes people just don’t understand that someone else’s baby is not for their own amusement." ~ suissaccassius
"NTA, many people I know would have reacted much worse and said way more hurtful things."
"As an adult, you know that secondhand smoke is dangerous, especially to babies."
"To hold a LIT cigarette and smoke it that close to a baby is moronic."
"She was dumb, you were right."
"Good job mom." ~ Adventurous-Cry-8172
"NTA. I seriously can't stand people like this."
"We stopped for lunch while on the road one day."
"My stepson, 4, was just diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and was on immunosuppressants."
"I had just given birth to our daughter, who was a premie, and she was only a few weeks old."
"My husband got food inside the restaurant, and met us at an outdoor table with nobody around."
"Out of nowhere comes this kid, no parents to be seen."
"He climbs up on our table, grabs my baby's carseat and, looks at her, and makes noises."
"I ask where his parents are and ask him to please leave, because my kids can get sick easily."
"He sneezed right in my baby's face and laughed."
"I did not feel comfortable touching someone else's kid, and kind of froze."
"My husband came out and told him to stay away from the kids in his stern dad voice."
"The kid took off, and I still had no idea where his parents were."
"My daughter ended up getting sick, and I had to bring her to the ER a few days later."
"Very scary." ~ sasspancakes
"No matter how much I want to, I don't get in strangers' babies' faces or touch them at all."
"Especially the little ones who may not have all their vaccines yet. I'm not going to give an infant whooping cough just because I think they're cute."
"If it's someone with whom I'm acquainted with, I'll maybe touch a socked foot."
"But you can always wave at a baby from a distance." ~ rlev97
"NTA. But that woman was."
"I understand babies are adorable, but I really don’t understand why people think they are entitled to other people's babies."
"You didn’t even know her."
"You are never wrong for holding boundaries to protect your baby. "
"Though you are a new parent, you are still getting used to it."
"This is coming from a father of a little one with another one on the way."
"If that was me, that woman wouldn’t have had the chance to get close to my baby, as I would have said do not smoke near my baby."
"The fact that she thought it was appropriate to do so made her an AH, but her huffing and buffing after you established a clear and normal boundary makes her an even bigger AH."
"People’s feelings, especially a random person's feelings, do not override your baby's safety and health." ~ SillyTugboats
"NTA. I can't resist babies, but I make eye contact with their adult first and say hello or take a peek from multiple feet away, and I hope that I'm good enough at reading someone's mood or body language to know when attention is definitely unwelcome, and I keep my attention to myself."
"I wouldn't want a lit cigarette anywhere near my baby's face."
"Who does that???" ~ chrispina98
"I was sitting outside a restaurant, and this lady lit a cigarette right behind me."
"We were in a strip mall sort of area, and she ended up walking far away from me, but why did she have to light up directly behind me?"
"Why couldn't she have waited until she got down where there weren't people?"
"People are just so inconsiderate." ~ ghostieghost28
"NTA. You weren’t rude."
"She was disgustingly impolite and clearly didn’t care about your boundaries."
"Plus! Secondhand smoke is dangerous, especially for babies."
"Honestly, I am impressed with how calm you were able to stay." ~ platypusandpibble
"NTA. For the most part, I think that civility and treating people nicely are something we can all do."
"When it comes to protecting your child, those go out your window, and when a stranger is getting that close, regardless of any other factors, there is risk."
"You don't know them, you don't know their intent, you don't know what they're going to do, they need to stay the hell away from your baby, and short of assaulting or killing a person."
"You're pretty much justified in treating them however you react."
"Because your actions here were not a conscious choice, they were a reaction." ~ ginger260•
"Yeah, you do have to be rude because she clearly doesn't get context clues."
"I gave zero fu*ks about other people's feelings when my kid was involved."
"Told numerous people while out and about, who just smelled of smoke-not actively smoking- to get away from my child."
"NTA." ~ CSILalaAnn
"NTA. You should have told her the reason why you told her to get out of your baby's face is her smoking."
"Secondhand smoke is pretty bad."
"She thinks you're rude? Heh.... nah."
"You did the right thing by moving your baby away from her."
"I would have done the same thing." ~ MischievousBish
"NTA. People feel entitled to get very into babies’ and pregnant women’s personal space (I guess just women in general, too), and it’s so deeply weird."
"Your baby, your rules." ~ revengeofthebiscuit
"NTA. Girl, I wouldn’t have even allowed her to coo."
"'Ma’am, that cig is way too close to my baby. Do not bring it closer.'”
"Keep the mama bear energy." ~ Buffalo-Empty
You were protecting your kid.
That woman was out of line.
Keep parenting the way you are.
