Smoking is a deadly habit.
So many people struggle with the addiction.
But it’s not illegal and there are designated areas to partake.
If you don’t smoke why make an issue of the area?
Case in point…
Redditor MyOwnGuitarHero wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not moving when someone asked me to stop smoking near them?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I feel kind of sh*tty for this, but then part of me feels like I wasn’t the one in the wrong here.”
“My college campus has a huge outdoor seating/dining area.”
“About 90% of it is normal tables of various sizes.”
“The other 10% is a smoking section that is kind of tucked out of the way of the rest of the outdoor area.”
“Other than location, the only difference is that the tables in the ‘normal’ area are of various sizes while the tables in the smoking section all have 4 seats.”
“When I went out for lunch, there was nobody in the smoking section.”
“I sat down and lit a cigarette.”
“A few minutes later I saw two women walking towards me with lunches in hand, and they took a seat at a table (in the smoking section) nearby.”
“Shortly after sitting down one of the women approached my table and asked me to put my cigarette out.”
“Thinking that they didn’t realize where they were, I politely said, ‘Oh actually this is the smoking area’.”
“She said, ‘I know, but we don’t smoke and it’s bothering us’.”
“I was really confused so I said, ‘I’m sorry but if you sit over there [pointing toward the non-smoking section] you won’t be bothered by the smoke’.”
“She rolled her eyes at me and said, ‘there’s no more big (4-seat) tables left over there’.”
“When I pointed out that there were only 2 of them, and therefore could sit at a smaller table, she said, ‘yeah but we like to spread out when we eat’.”
“I’m really self-conscious about smoking.”
“I know it’s a horrible habit and I try to be extremely cognizant of making sure that my smoking isn’t affecting anyone else.”
“So I was JUST about to acquiesce and put my cigarette out.”
“But then I thought, no, this area is specifically for me and I’m not doing anything wrong by using it for its intended purpose.”
“So I said, as politely as possible, ‘I’m really sorry but this area was designed for smokers. If you don’t want to be around smoke you’ll have to go to the non-smoking area’.”
“She huffed away and for the rest of the time I was sitting there the two women were talking loudly about ‘the nerve of some people’.”
“And, ‘Can you believe how RUDE and INCONSIDERATE some A**HOLES can be these days??!'”
“I finished my cigarette quickly and went inside, but now I’m wondering if I’m TA.”
“So… I was smoking in the smokers’ section.”
“Two non-smokers sat near me because they liked the size of the table better and asked me to put out my cigarette.”
“I refused, as politely as possible.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. The smoking area is for smokers.”
“If they didn’t like it they should have moved.”
“It’s no different than walking into a cafeteria and then not liking that everyone around you is eating. It’s an area of the school FOR eating.”
“Just like how the smoking area is for smoking.” ~ BlyxonsSame.
“I really dislike smoking because I grew up in a house full of smoke.”
“Smoking sections exist for a reason. NTA.” ~ blueheronflight
“So, to recap…”
“You were doing an activity in a designated area for that activity.”
“You were there first.”
“They came up to you in your properly designated area where you arrived first and demanded you stopped doing an activity designated for that area.”
“There was other seating.”
“They didn’t NEED extra seating, they WANTED it but didn’t actually have to use it.”
“Yeah, this is a BIG NTA for you, and a HUGE they are TA for them.”
“Don’t waste anymore of your limited heartbeats in this life thinking about it.” ~ SetiG
“NTA – In the actual scenario nor would you be in the wrong if for any reason you showed up second.”
“That is the designated smoking area.”
“There is signage stating that fact.”
“If you wish to smoke, you have to do it there.”
“If they wish to eat they can do it almost anywhere.” ~ Charming_Wulf
OP gave an update…
“Edit: Just got home from class.”
“Thanks guys for all your votes; looks pretty overwhelmingly NTA.”
“I thought so, but then I’m also a huge pushover so standing up for myself made me feel really guilty.”
“And also they were being so incredibly rude about it that it had me questioning my own sanity. LOL.”
“Thanks for reassuring me that I wasn’t crazy.”
“And that’s the thing, I was there first!”
“Maybe if it was a situation where the entire ‘regular’ patio was filled and these poor people were forced to sit in the smoking section out of necessity.”
“And they were there first, then I’d gladly put it out.”
Reddit continued..
“OP, I don’t like confrontations at all.”
“That being said, I would have sat there and chain smoked until I couldn’t breathe.”
“Because sometimes I ATA, especially if people get pissy with me. Totally NTA.” ~ Lanky-Jello-1801
“I concur with the others. NTA.”
“Even if you arrived with only one seat left and no one else was smoking you’d still be in the right to light up.”
“It is a smoking section.”
“They were the rude AHS, not you.” ~ Last_Translator1898
“Based on title alone, I was ready to call you TA.”
“I’m asthmatic and I cannot deal with smokers.”
“I have definitely been known to give the stank eye to people smoking near me and especially if they’re positioned upwind or just outside a door where you can’t avoid walking through their smoke.”
“However, you were in the smoking section.”
“There were open spaces in the non-smoking section. NTA. End of story.” ~ colene23
“Hi! I’m an asthmatic who is triggered by cigarette smoke, reading the title I was expecting it to be a no brainer- and it was!”
“Just not the way I thought.”
“You weren’t smoking at a bus stop or by a entrance or walkway or anything like that.”
“You were specifically smoking in the designated area, you were there first, and you tried to direct the interlopers to the appropriate area. NTA.” ~ RadiumGirlRevenge
“NTA. I’m a fellow smoker and I try to be considerate about it.”
“I stay away from areas I’m not supposed to smoke when I light up, and I never drop my butts on the ground anywhere.”
“I always put them out and take them with me to dispose properly.”
“I totally get your feeling about being self-conscious about it, because I am too.”
“You had a right to smoke in that area.”
“I’m wondering if these women didn’t go there purposefully to give you heck because they don’t want the smoking area to begin with?”
“I’m a pretty decent person, but I would’ve probably asked them if they were so upset.”
“Maybe they should sit down and have a smoke and relax.”
“Not good, but they were clearly in the wrong here.”
“I’m truly dating myself, but my high school cafeteria used to allow smoking and my mother would pack me some cigarettes in my lunch bag (I know, haha).”
“Different era I guess.”
“The girl’s bathroom was a cloud of smoke when you opened the door.”
“I still smoke.”
“It’s an awful habit but it’s one I can’t seem to quit.”
“I get frustrated how smokers (even the considerate ones) are treated like garbage by a lot of people.” ~ flappergirl35
OP had more to tell us about these ladies…
“I have a feeling I know why it was a big deal.”
“The two women are actually staff members – don’t know what department (probably not the one I’m in or I would have recognized them).”
“But they were older and their badges were different so definitely staff of some sort.”
“One of the nasty comments the one lady made to me when I basically told her I wouldn’t put it out was something along the lines of, ‘I hope you enjoy it while it lasts because we’re going totally smoke-free soon.'”
“And then when I was sitting there listening to them talk **it on me, one of the comments I heard was, ‘I can’t WAIT until we get rid of this next year.'”
“So I have a feeling this is like a personal cause for them.”
Reddit is here for you OP.
When we wander into other people’s areas it’s up to us to adjust.
Smoking isn’t a great habit but you were bothering no one.
Maybe the ladies were just cranky that day.