Everyone can agree that a bride and groom should be happy on their wedding day and be able to make their own decisions when it comes to the wedding planning.
Or at least, they can agree in theory, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Sad-Property4740 found out the hard way just how unsupportive his mother and sister were of his future union.
When they made one particularly callous gesture in response to his wedding suit, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to do next.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for not wearing the suit my mom and sister picked for me as my wedding suit?”
The OP was going to marry his high school sweetheart.
“I’m getting married to my lovely fiancée of 5 years next month. I’ll provide some context for the post.”
“First I’ll start off with my fiancée and I. We met in high-school, started dating, we got engaged when we hit the 3 year mark, and now it’s been 5 years since I proposed.”
“We didn’t get married straight away because we were still very young when I proposed and we just wanted to make our relationship official with that ring.”
The OP and his fiancée had edgier clothes picked out for the wedding.
“My fiancée and I have similar styles in terms of clothing.”
“Both her wedding dress and my suit will represent our own individual styles. We have our own picks already of course.”
“My suit is not a traditional wedding suit for men, it’s more on the edgy side. While it’s still a formal suit, there are some touches of chains and stuff like that on it.”
“I love it, it’s different and it represents me.”
“I despised the idea of a classic tuxedo in the first place, I don’t feel myself in it.”
The OP also had a happy relationship with his future bride.
“My fiancée and I have a great relationship. Of course we have some regular fights but nothing abnormal for any couple.”
“We love and support each other and have a healthy balance of relationship and our friendships.”
His relationship with his family was more questionable.
“Now about my mom and sis. My mom and sister are the kind of people who start one sided beefs with people.”
“They claim to love my fiancée but they’re jealous of her.”
“They’re the kind of people who want the same love and affection from me that I give my fiancée. They always compare themselves to my her.”
“They act more like jealous ex girlfriends rather than mother and sister.”
“They’ve also made subtle threats towards her than they later claim are jokes, like, ‘If you dare look at us wrong, we’ll make sure your relationship won’t last long.'”
“My fiancée and I have realised how weird they’re being, and we’ve distanced ourselves a bit.”
“But even in small instances, they’ll comment publicly on our pics mocking our outfits. Our outfits are not even something extreme, we just have more of a rock style, and they consider that ridiculous.”
They were also critical of the OP’s wedding suit.
“Long story short, they saw my suit and started scolding me and saying there’s no way I’ll show up like this to my wedding.”
“I said it’s none of their business and both my fiancée and I love it.”
“They said there’s no way they’re gonna let this happen.”
“They went and bought me a new suit, which would be something a 50-year-old man would wear.”
“They insisted I wear it or else they’re gonna make sure I’m gonna be mocked at the wedding by my relatives and they stressed how everyone will laugh at me.”
“I said I’m not wearing the suit, end of story.”
“They now are calling me TA for not respecting their opinion and not wearing the suit they spent so much money on.”
“I don’t think I am TA but just to make sure do you think I’d be TA if I didn’t wear their suit?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the groom and his bride were going to look amazing.
“NTA. I bet you and your fiancé are going to look awesome! I can only imagine how cool her dress is going to be if it matches the style of your suit.”
“No offense to your mom and sister, but they should mind their own business and let you decide what kind of wedding you want to have.” – EmmyA54
“NTA.”
“First of all, it’s a cool idea to represent your style in the wedding outfit. It’s so much more unique than a traditional suit or dress.”
“It’s your wedding. Therefore, your mother and sister are TA for not respecting your choice and even more so for threatening you and trying to sabotage your special day. They are also TA for everything they put your fiancé through.”
“I hope in the end you will have a nice wedding OP, you deserve it.” – Arn0_7
“NTA. It’s you and your fiancée’s big day and if you both like it then everyone else can go to hell. Anyone who would turn up at your wedding and mock you is not the sort of person who should be sharing your special day anyway.”
“Also, that suit sounds amazing! You put that suit on, be metal as f**k, and have the most amazing day!” – BooBob69
“NTA, it’s your wedding, and it seems you and your fiancée are enjoying the fact that you are able to be yourselves at… I’ll say it again… YOUR wedding!”
“If someone threatened to ruin my wedding by having me openly mocked and ridiculed, I’d be saving money on one less dinner plate.”
“Have a wonderful wedding and wear the suit that you and your fiancée LOVE!” – MortarChelle
“I want to see pictures of the whole wedding party. Based on OP’s description of his tux and his awesome fiancée, you know her dress is incredible!!”
“It sounds like your wedding is going to be an absolute blast, and these two sound like they’re going to kill the vibe no matter what.”
“Do you want to look back on your wedding day as an amazing celebration of your love or as the day you had to throw your mom and sister out of your wedding? I can’t shake the feeling that they’re just biding their time until the objections portion of the vows.”
“NTA & rock on!” – Amazing_Reflection58
Others strongly urged the OP to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding.
“Rethink if you want that type of jealousy in your new family’s lives. Because that type of catty behavior is hard to break. Draw your boundaries early, do not allow them to disrespect the love of your life.”
“They want to engage in one-sided beefs with others, then that is on them, but do not allow them to do so with your future wife.” – hello_friendss
“TBH (to be honest), I would uninvite them because of their attitude about your relationship in the first place. OP, you are NTA. Wear what you want and surround yourself with people who support your union and respect you.” – JaiRenae
“They think it’s their day. What kind of awful family says they are going to get other people to mock you on your wedding day if you don’t wear what they picked for you?”
“Really toxic people. I hope you don’t invite them now, because how could you trust them?” – PilotEnvironmental46
“Absolutely they should be uninvited. They already told OP they intend to make a scene.”
“Even if it had nothing to do with the suit, it sounds like they were always planning on pulling something on the wedding day. They’re bullies and they will also likely do something to hurt your wife on the day.”
“Please protect your wife and yourself and don’t let them come.” – justchillinghbu87
“On the upside though, at least OP’s wannabe-saboteurs are dumb enough to straight-up let him know their nasty little plans.”
“Very helpful to do so when he’s still got plenty of time to uninvite them and fill their spots with less malicious guests! Plus now he knows to take steps to ensure their absence on the day itself, just in case they try to attend sans invitation.” – Self-Aware
The OP was concerned about wasting his family’s money and disregarding their feelings, but the subReddit urged him not to feel that way.
His family had already disregarded his feelings first, and he explicitly told them he would not wear what they presented, but they spent their money anyway. Fortunately, because he wasn’t sized in the suit before they presented it to him, more than likely it was off the rack, which means there’s a solid change it could be refunded.