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Guy Stirs Drama By Canceling The ‘Surprise’ Housewarming Party His Grandma Was Planning For Him


Redditor BlueGrizz174 is a 31-year-old male who just bought a new home with his 33-year-old wife.

While being first-time homebuyers is an exciting milestone for a couple, there was one thing he was not ready for.

After taking a stance that caused drama with his mother and grandmother, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for canceling a housewarming party I was unaware was happening?”

The Original Poster (OP) provided the following background:

“My wife and I (33 female/31 male) just bought our first home. We moved in 3 weeks ago.”

“Getting the house together has been a struggle as we have a newborn (2months), I work long hours, and we’re still awaiting for most of the furniture to be delivered ( kitchen table and living room set).”

“A few days ago my mom asked if she could bring my grandmother by to see the house. As I am her first grandchild she is ecstatic we have our first home.”

“I agreed and said yes come on Sunday for some lunch and to see the house.”

“Today I found out my grandmother wants to gift us an old cabinet that belonged to my late grandfather. I think it’s a wonderful gift, however, apparently she wants to make it big deal and have the entire family over.”

“I found out today from my sister that all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins were invited.”

“This would mean 18 people ( not including my wife and our 2 kids) in our 1,000 sq for home with no kitchen table and only 1 couch.”

“I was extremely agitated no one thought to ask my wife and I if we would be ok with this. We were already planning a housewarming part next month for once the house and yard were ready.”

“I told my mom that I was canceling this Sunday and only her and my grandma would be able to come to see the new house.”

“My mom says I’m ungrateful and breaking my grandma’s heart for not allowing this party that I had no idea was happening. AITA?”

Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Redditors weighed in with their not the a**hole judgments and gave their thoughts about the surprise party in this context.

“NTA. A surprise house warming party is the worst idea. Can’t believe they thought that would fly.” – arboreallion

“Calling that a surprise party is generous.”

“A surprise party is when you come home and your friends and family barg out with a cake and presents, not when 18+ people show up unannounced at your doorstep and demand that you host them.” – Shiny_Agumon

“Yeah, it’s probably been a hot minute since Gramma and Mom had a baby but forcing 18 people into the space of a woman who gave birth two months ago and is probably still recovering emotionally/physically (assuming the birth went really well) is bordering on cruel.” – Readingreddit12345

“Also grandma is acting fairly bizarre. Why is the delivery of a cabinet an 18-person affair?”

“Are they planning on breaking a champagne bottle on it, like they’re christening a new ship? Is the cabinet a guest of honour?”

“I’m imagining it surrounded by a velvet rope barrier with everyone ooh-ing and ah-ing.”

“Have the f’king cabinet delivered on the actual planned housewarming if it’s so important to you?” – User avatar

“NTA. How could they think 22 total people could have a party in a house with little room and then not even tell or warn you about it.”

“Good thing you shut it down cause now they will know to either ask you or your wife or just not try to do it again at all. Stick to your guns about this.” – kfcspincity61

“NTA, and I would say something to your mother along the lines of ‘I am extremely grateful to GM but you’re forgetting we have a newborn, we just moved in, we don’t have any furniture to host anyone and our house isn’t remotely party ready.'”

“‘It was wrong of you to encourage making this a big event we’re not ready for, when we have a housewarming planned for next month. I invited you and and GM but I am not ready for a large gathering.’” – WiseBad1

“OP probably honestly won’t even have to say anything if mom and Gm still come over. They’ll see that there’s no furniture and the house is still in an only partially moved-in state and nowhere near party ready.”

“Surprise parties are a terrible idea 99% of the time anyway. But I honestly cannot even imagine the audacity it would take to try to throw a surprise party for someone in their home without any input at all FROM ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY LIVES THERE!! Like what???”

“Just show up to someone’s house with a whole party in tow?? Surprise?! You’re hosting all of us for as long as we want!!’”

“What if they’re having plumbing issues that day and there are zero in working toilets in the house? What if the baby was sick and puked or sh*t all over everything and they haven’t had the chance to clean it up yet?”

“What if one/several of the rooms are being painted and everything is all taped off and there are drop sheets and open paint cans everywhere? This is literally the rudest thing I can possibly imagine to inflict on someone who just moved into a new house with a newborn.”

“And sure sure, ‘it’s just family! We don’t care what your house looks like!’ Blah blah blah bullsh*t. Family can be the MOST judgmental about the state of your home/cleanliness/etc.” – Kathrynlena

Overall, Redditors believed a surprise housewarming party was a terrible idea and that it was presumptuous of the grandmother to throw one.

In an update, the OP clarified some points.

“Apparently this was more my grandmother insisting on this being a big surprise/secret.”

“My mom went along with it until some of the aunts realized hey they want to know you’re planning a party at their house without their knowledge.”

“I spoke to my grandmother and said I still want her and mom to come on Sunday, she declined and was still upset.”

“Aunts, Uncles, and cousins all understood and look forward to the actual housewarming party.”

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo