A 33-year-old man is contemplating how to deal with his fiancée after she took it upon herself to cancel his job interview because she disapproved of his potential supervisor.
As he was unsure if he was the one in the wrong in their ongoing feud, the Original Poster (OP) took to Reddit to gather others’ opinions of the situation.
The user, who has since deleted his Reddit account, asked:
“AITA For losing it when my fiancee cancelled my job interview?”
OP began with some background on his current employment situation, or lack thereof.
“I M[ale] 33 been engaged to my fiancee F[female] 28 for over 7 months and were planning on having the wedding next year.”
“Thing is I’ve been struggling to find a new job after I lost my previous job due to reasons that are out of my control and it was hard because I worked so hard for this company and I ended up being told that I was no longer needed.”
“I been struggling with rent/bills and my fiancee is the one taking care of rent for now, while I take care of other things and help as much as I can.”
“After looking for 4 months I finally found a potential job opportunity and contacted the company and set up a date for an interview.”
“I’ve learnt that the manger is a lady and for a reason that pissed my fiancee off, she told me having a woman as your boss is never a good thing because she says women take advantage of their positions and get employees to do things for them so they could benefit.”
“I thought that was just wrong and ignorant to be honest.”
“She told me to keep looking for other jobs and cancel my interview but I refused I wasn’t going to throw this opportunity away after looking for months.”
“Besides I feel frustrated and helpless without a job not to mention not being able to pay for rent and other things since she complains that I don’t contribute in anything.”
“She threw a fit and kept bringing it up over and over again. A few days ago I found out that she used my laptop and cancelled my interview with the company.”
“I was so mad when I contacted the company and they told me that they had other potential employees that attended interviews and that I was two days late.”
This was just too much for OP to take.
“I yelled at my fiancee especially when she didn’t even deny it. She thought I was overreacting and that she’ll ‘try’ and find another job for me.”
“I just couldn’t take it and yelled at her for cancelling an important interview because she felt insecure.”
“She got upset that I called her out on her insecurities and thought I was in the wrong for how I reacted. She’s refusing to even talk about it without me apologizing to her first.”
“I haven’t apologized and She’s even more pissed saying I shouldn’t treat her like this when she’s working and paying for rent and that I should appreciate her for that instead of being mad at her.”
Redditors pronounced judgement on the situation by voting:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone’s Sucks Here
There was very little disagreement in the comments, with most Redditors pronouncing that OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA and welcome to a preview of what your marriage will be like if you go through with it. This controlling, jealous, and abusive behavior typically only increases once you have locked the spouse down.”
“Doubly so if you dont have your own income or control of finances, leaving you with no real way out” ~ justajigglygiraffe
“Does she expect some sort of hi-five or congratulations on canceling your interview and being the ‘breadwinner’?”
“All I read is MANIPULATIVE and CONTROLLING!” ~ throwawaybitterlatina
A huge number of people suggested that OP get out of the relationship while he still can.
“NTA. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN” ~yourshadowtwin
“More red flags than a May Day parade. It’s time for a serious re-evaluation and for OP to start working towards an exit strategy from what is clearly a toxic relationship that is only going to get worse.” ~ Far_Administration41
“Run fast in the opposite direction. The gall of her canceling your interview is unforgivable she is totally and utterly a controlling insecure untrusting a**hole.” ~ carrieosman
“Op get your best sneakers on and run for the hills” ~ someadvice
“NTA. I don’t generally recommend this. Unless a relationship is physically abusive I really don’t. Usually I just say that you need to consider if this is working or that it’s going to be hard work from here. Things like that.”
“But seriously, dump her a** and get out. You can’t fix this kind of stupid behavior and she will continue to do crap like this throughout your entire relationship.”
“GET OUT NOW. RUN. DONT WALK.” ~ What_Was_I_doi
“Everyone is saying to run and nobody is explaining why. What she did is a form of financial and emotional abuse.”
“She cancelled your interview so 1. You wouldn’t be under the control of another woman and 2. She can be the one in control of the finances and 3. Continue being praised and in control for being the only one bringing home the bread.”
“NTA. Get out and get away from her.” ~ Maudella
OP has since deleted the post, and his account, so there probably won’t be any followup on the situation.