Redditor AdDismal9445 is a 19-year-old male named Sebastian who grew up with parents who had a specific rule about how to refer to each other in the family.
All that changed when his little brother was born six years ago.
When he recently upset his father for challenging the rule, he visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for going against the family rule of ‘no nicknames’?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“If you ask me why we have that rule, I can’t answer you, my parents never gave a nickname while growing up, never gave me an endearment way of saying my name and neither called me ‘son’.”
“I was always ‘Sebastian’ [my name], they also never called each other ‘love/darling’ anything. Only by names.”
“When I was 6 they told me I had to stop calling them ‘mommy/daddy’ and I had to call them ‘mom/dad’ or by their names.”
“My parents had a surprise baby 6 years ago, my little brother Pietro. I don’t have the words to explain how much I love that child, I find him the prettiest baby in the world and I try to show him love in ways I know our parents never will.”
“Since he’s still a small child, they let me call him whatever I want but said that I had to stop once he turns 6, well since his name is ‘Pietro’ I call him ‘Pea’, this started as ‘sweet pea’, first it was ‘Pi[etro] sweet pea’, then ‘Pietro Pea’, ‘Sweet Peatro’ until it landed on just ‘Pea’.”
“He actually loves it, even says his name is ‘Pea Pietro’ when introducing himself, I guess because it’s the only real nickname in our family, once he turned 6, my dad said no more, but I said f’k it since I don’t live at their place and continued to called my brother Pea.”
“I only use his real name when I need him to get serious.”
“Well, my dad called me a few days ago and said that Pea is refusing to come when they call him because he wants to be called ‘Pea’ at home too, he says he likes it, and he doesn’t understand why our parents refuse to call him something he loves.”
“I talked to him, because it was never my intention to get Pea to act out, he kinda got it, but he’s a kid and got sad. Our mom ended up agreeing and calls him Pea now, I guess she’s tired of that sh*t too. But not my dad.”
“He completely refuses and blames me for ‘causing this mess’. He said that if I had stopped when they asked me to, Pea wouldn’t be like this, but man, it’s just a kid, chill out.”
“My mom says that for her the matter is settled but I should talk to Pea again and explain him how names are a big deal to our dad and he should at least listen to him when he calls him Pietro.”
“For my dad I’m a complete and total AH so I had to ask.”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors saw nothing wrong with the OP going against the family rule.
“NTA.”
“What a weird flex of parental power.” – bunnyball88
“Exactly this. Why would you mis use your parental power for something so stupid as a NN. I personally think OP’s parents enjoy their parental powers a little too much by misusing it for unnecessary things. Parental powers should be used to for example set a curfew or something, not sh*t like this.” – RedRoseSapphire
“NTA”
“If the kid wants a nickname let him have it.”
“I also have one for your dad. It’s part of the name of this sub. You have three guesses and the first two don’t count.” – Velocityg4
“NTA. It’s not up to you, your father or your mother; it’s up to Pea.” – Hegemonic_Smegma
“Pietro is such an adorable name by itself, I love it and it just exudes this kind of cuteness, he’s going to be a handsome young man and with a brother like you you’ll be two peas in a pod!”
“Let Dad be a grump, having personal qualms is okay until it gets forced on others. I’d definitely still respect Dad not wanting to use a nickname but yeah, the rule for everyone has got to go and Dad can just accept that he’ll be left out of the fun.”
“NTA, i call my brother Andrew Drew Drew to this day and we’re almost in our thirties.” – PrincessofSharks
“Honestly I’m always using shortened names for everyone.”
“My youngest I even managed to make a song up for him. His name is Dominic but we shorten it to Dom.”
“So it’s ‘Dim dam dommy dommy dommy dommy dim dam dim dam doooo, stinks of poooo’ which as a 6 year old he finds hilarious because poo is funny ofc.”
“My neice has out of control hair exactly like mine. It’s curly and has a mind of its own. My sister used to call me cousin It when we were kids. I call my niece swamp rat but only me and my husband are allowed to call her that according to her.”
“My sister had a wee baby so her nickname is swamp mouse as she’s a smaller version 🤣”
“Literally no one cares and the kids all love it. My Grandma will not use our shortened names because she likes our full names. But she always calls us ‘sweetheart’ or ‘beauty.'”
“Or in the case of my youngest who’s a complete suck up to his Great Grandma ‘my little lamb’ cue everyone’s eye roll because hes far from a little lamb. At times I’m certain he’s some sort of hell spawn with a cute smile.”
“NTA the dad in the OP has issues.” – Saysaywhat91
“Why respect the dad for this frankly weird and nonsensical rule? Wild stab in the dark, but I’m guessing the dad may have had a nickname at school or home which upset him, and he’s taking it out on his own family.”
“Op, do you have uncles/aunts/grandparents on your dad’s side that you can ask? But again, no respect for making his children upset over something so petty.” – Fattydog
“Your dad is a controlling AH. My mom gave me a name that only really has one possible nickname, Laurie, and she hated the nickname Laurie, so I have never gone by it. However, there was a older couple who lived near my grandparents when I was little, and they doted on me as they didn’t have their own grandchild.”
“They were like second grandparents to me when I was very small. They called me Laurie, and I told my mom I didn’t like it, and I know she hated the name Laurie, too. BUT, she told me, ‘Bob and Sandra are older people and they don’t have a little grandchild of their own, and they’re so nice to you and let you play in their home and give you cookies and treats. It would be really kind, polite, and generous if you let them call you Laurie, because they love you very much and do a lot of very kind things for you.’”
“My mom understood that you can’t always control what people will call your kids, or what they’ll call themselves, and that a nickname isn’t a hill to die on – and she taught me that, too.” – boudicas_shield
“NTA. This is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. You gotta find out why!”
“My grandma named all her kids what she wanted to call them, like my Aunt Becky is not Rebecca, and my uncle Bill is not William. But she’s okay if people say ‘Beck.’ Strange.” – Cautious-Damage7575
“NTA but it sounds like maybe your dad has some sort of past trauma regarding nicknames. That sucks… but he should be working on dealing with that and processing it if that’s the case, not forcing everyone in his life to live by the rules of his traumas.”
“At the very least he should explain to you all why and not just say ‘because it’s important to me’ as if the nickname isn’t important to you and your brother.” – Sirealism55
“NTA. Kids, you and Pea, have an innate skill of honing in on what feels like the pettiest, most futile hill your parents want to die on and going against their wishes and as parents, they have to, they must, learn to respect you as individuals with your own preferences and give up silly grievances like this.”
“There is nothing wrong with having pet names for your siblings. I am about 20 years older than you and my brother still calls me a pet name and I still use two for him.”
“My kid hates frills. I am not inclined to wrap her in ruffles and lace either but if there is a rosette or a bow or a little gathering of fabric? Hard pass from her. Her favorite print is camo 🤣” – wildferalfun
Overall, Redditors supported the OP’s using the nickname out of affection for his kid brother, and they continued criticizing his dad for being such a stickler for his specific family rule.