Everyone has different things in their home that make them comfortable and feel more at home.
Whether that’s certain decorations or converting a room into a closet, that’s up to the homeowner, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor throwaway222910 was pressured to convert her home into something that would accommodate her tenants over her.
When they pushed back against her for objecting, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was being selfish.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not accommodating my friend with health problems?”
The OP allowed a few friends to stay with her for a while.
“I (24 [female]) have inherited my parents’ house and money a few months ago after they passed away. It’s a 3 bed, 2.5 bath.”
“I moved into it almost immediately and then a few days ago invited my friend and her fiancé (24 [female] and 26 [male]) to stay with me, since they were having some finical issues.”
“I gave them the bathroom upstairs as well as the smaller bedroom (I have a lot of clothes so I converted the bigger one upstairs into an extra closet for me).”
The couple wanted to change some things.
“They moved in last week while I was away for a business trip and when I came home, they sat me down and asked if they could have the master bedroom and I move into the smaller one.”
“The master bedroom is huge. My parents had the house custom-built for them when they just got married and didn’t plan on kids, so the master bedroom takes up the majority of the upstairs.”
“The bathroom is huge with a tub, walk-in shower, vanity space, and two sinks. However, when I moved in, I paid $50,000 to have the entire bathroom remodeled.”
The OP and the couple could not agree.
“I said no because it was my house and I am paying for the majority of bills (they pay 1/4) and the fact that I couldn’t fit all my stuff in the small room.”
“They argued if I couldn’t fit my stuff, then they couldn’t fit the stuff of two people.”
“They then went on to explain how my friend has IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and other digestive problems, as well as autism, and baths help comfort her.”
“Their bathroom does have a bath, it’s not as big as mine, but it still works.”
“I still said no and that I’m sorry that she’s going through that.”
“She complained that it’s tough for her to run out of the room and into the bathroom a couple of doors down.”
The couple wanted other things in the house, too.
“They then went on to mention how if I am planning on getting my basement remodeled, that I could remodel it to help fit their needs.”
“And I once again said no because I’m converting it into an office space for my boyfriend (he’s currently in a master’s program) since we both will work from home.”
“They said that they felt like I didn’t care about her health problems and was being rude for not helping them when they needed it.”
“I reminded them that this is not a permanent situation and they stormed off.”
Others in the OP’s life had mixed feelings.
“It’s been a week and they still have refused to move their boxes upstairs until I stop being ‘spoiled’ and give them the master bedroom.”
“Some of my friends are saying that I am the a**hole for not just letting them stay in the room until they move out (when they keep acting like this is permanent) or even just moving my stuff out of the bigger bedroom and let them stay in there.
“Others are saying that I have the right to say no and should just kick them out if they don’t just agree to stay in the smaller room.”
“So am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some sided with the OP and said these were nightmare tenants.
“100% this. Move immediately to remove them or you’re going to come home one day to find they took the bedroom.”
“Not sure which county or state you live it but this could become a nightmare situation very, very quickly.”
“If you can afford it, stop accepting any money from them and set a firm move-out date. Have them at the very least sign something stating the agreed upon move-out date.” – bgreen134
“Tell them to go somewhere else. Kick them out now. Remove their boxes from the home and have them removed.”
“They haven’t established residency yet. These people will never leave once they have to be legally evicted, OP.”
“And if the woman gets pregnant? S**t, good luck. I wouldn’t even let them stay tonight.”
“Just say, ‘Clearly the arrangements here do not work for you. You need to find something more suitable for your needs. Please leave.'” – Becklylately
“Yes, I’d pull a, ‘Oh, well I’m sorry to hear this won’t work for you. I’m going to use that room for something else, then. You’ll need to be out by the end of the month. Let me know if you need a hand moving your stuff to your new, better place!'” – nutlikeothersquirls
“Definitely get rid of them. They are not friends, and they are nightmare tenants. Get them out before they have any tenants’ rights.”
“I shudder to think what these two chiselers will do to your house while you’re away on business. They just got there and they already think they own the place.” – AQualityKoalaTeacher
“Also, change all the locks. Even if they don’t have your physical keys, if OP allowed them to borrow them or come and go as they please, they may have sneakily made copies in case they were told to leave.”
“Cover all bases. Change the locks. If they try to come back and break anything or make the situation worse, it’s trespassing and vandalism.” – NRosxO
Others agreed and said the couple’s friends could give them a place to stay instead.
“Seriously consider kicking them out. If they have this level of entitlement after having only just moved in, they’ll only get worse.”
“The friends who think you’re being an a**hole can put them up.”
“Remember it’s YOUR house.”
“NTA.” – LilyHamma
“All those friends that thought OP was being an AH for not letting them just stay in the master bedroom until they moved out can host these two people.” – teachprof
“They surely have a couch in their living room they can sleep on even if it’s a single bedroom apartment… they’ll have plenty of time after OP’s problem lodgers finish using the living room.”
“Although, unless their master bedrooms don’t have an ensuite with a larger than standard bath, then obviously that isn’t a proper idea because who could think of living in a place without one?!”
“If getting ‘back on their feet’ means being able to afford a place where the master bedroom has a luxury ensuite, their definition may be different than OP’s, because it’s different to mine…”
“Gosh, for OPs friends to think this is ‘normal’ or ‘fair’ must have never had finite resources in their life, or perhaps the cynical part in me thinks they are saying they would do that, but they would never actually because of a really good reason they will think of…” – TryToDoGoodTA
“And any ‘friend’ who says to let them stay can feel free to house these 2 ungrateful people!!” – Juju_Frijoles
“The friends who say OP is an a**hole are probably only saying that so they don’t have to have the couple stay with them.” – fidelises
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
“I have a meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to set up a leasing contract.”
“If they don’t sign it, then I am legally allowed to kick them out in my state, and that’s what I plan on doing.”
“They won’t sign a leasing agreement so they have been kicked out. They are going to be homeless (I feel really bad about it), but they are finally leaving after they both work today.”
“My friend is currently changing all the locks to the house and the gate surrounding it.”
“I don’t plan on talking to them anymore.”
Though the OP felt terrible about the ultimate outcome, the subReddit insisted she had done the right thing. By the way, they were talking, the couple clearly thought they either owned the place or that they could at least live there long-term, neither of which is a helpful mindset in this case.