"Treat others the way you want to be treated."
Something most of us are taught at a very young age.
What often goes unsaid, however, is that if you treat people in a way you would not want to be treated yourself, chances are the tables will turn.
Always creating unnecessary tension.
Redditor DriveCode9111 was having some trouble with one of her work colleagues.
A colleague who always felt the need to take personal punches at the original poster (OP).
Having finally had enough, the OP found herself giving this colleague a taste of her own medicine.
Leaving said colleague in tears.
Wondering if they went too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for making my co-worker cry because I mocked her nose-job?"
The OP explained why she found herself taking a low blow at her coworker:
"I (F[emale]) am working long-term in Korea and got hired for a company that consisted of only Koreans."
"There's this one particular co-worker who was really nice to me until I showed her a picture of my bf one day, who's also Korean."
"From that day onward, she lowkey started being a bit snarky towards me."
"At first, she would comment on the type of food I would eat like 'wow, you're eating all of that? That's a lot of calories', but as time went on the comments got nastier and nastier."
"There was this one time when she asked me if my great-grandparents were Nazis (I'm German-American), but at the time, I didn't realize she was being passive-aggressive and thought she genuinely was concerned about my health and curious about my family history."
"I only started to realize the shade when she started commenting on my relationship with my bf, talking about how she didn't like how there were so many white girls dating Korean guys nowadays, and basically, the typical racist ethnic homogeneity is good crap."
"At this point, I was just fed up with her and started ignoring her and refusing to look in her general direction."
"But recently, there was this one incident where she started talking sh*t about my looks, and in a fit of anger, I told her that at least I didn't need an obvious and terrible nose-job to look decent."
"But I said this way too loudly, and basically everyone on the floor heard my comment."
"Because everyone was staring in our direction, she started tearing up and crying."
"To be honest, I knew she was insecure about her nose because it was a secret that she told me before the beef how she regretted the surgery because it didn't turn out the way she hoped, but because I was so angry and she was dissing my looks, I blurted it out."
"I told my bf about this, and he said that I was in the right, but the general consensus among my other co-workers was that I shouldn't have said that personal secret out loud and instead talk with her privately."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, they mostly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for mocking their coworker's nose job.
Some felt that the OP's colleague deserved a taste of her own medicine after everything she put the OP through:
"NTA."
"I am a Korean woman (though not in Korea), and if that went down at my workplace, I would totally be on your side."
"She has been throwing shade all this time and got it back once."
"Hopefully she learned her lesson."- peripera
"NTA."
"She started it."
"Though expect this may affect your relationship with colleagues because of the whole culture around saving face."- lysanderastra
"NTA."
"Give someone a taste of their own medicine."- donp1ano
"NTA."
"You reached your breaking point."
"I’m sure you didn’t mean for everyone in the office to hear you, but how many insults are you supposed to take from her?" jmsst1996
"NTA."
"Girl tried insulting your looks and it backfired."
"She shouldn’t have done it in the first place."
"I’m also in an AMWF relationship, and I used to live in Korea with my husband until we recently moved back to the States."
"Because of how popular Korean guys are around the world and the country’s reputation as a passport sister country, there are some Korean women who hate foreigners who date/marry Korean men since it means fewer options for them without replacements and more competition with white, Japanese, and other foreign girls."
"It’s the concept of mate-guarding ex."
"White incels leaving death threats towards any interracial couple involving white women or Chinese incels who bash Chinese women online for dating white men since white women aren’t into Chinese men nowhere near the same rate."
"When I was dating my husband, I also got the same type of hate from Korean women."
"Eventually, you’ll learn to just ignore the glares."- BlessedSnake9913
"NTA."
"If her nose is that bad, maybe she should keep it out of other people’s business."
"I’m sorry you can’t dish out that much mean girl energy and then be upset when someone says something back."
"People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones or something like that."
"She attacked you because of your race/ethnicity, your looks, your relationship, and even the food you eat, meanwhile she’s insecure about her crappy nose job."
"She FAFO’d and deserved what she got."- franquiz55
"NTA."
"She should have just kept her nose out of your business if she didn't want you to comment on it."
"Seriously though, she was nasty first."
"Maybe talk to HR, if your company has that?"- bottleoffries
"NTA."
"Do your co-workers hear how she speaks to you on a regular basis?"- xziggy72x
"NTA."
"If you want to talk sh*t publicly you’re gonna get sh*t talked back publicly."
"Although I do wonder, why haven’t you reported her behavior to HR?"- Zadsta
"NTA."
"Don’t dish out what you can’t take."
"However, people here seem to take issue with bringing up her insecurity publicly, personally, that’s the kind of karma I would expect someone to face after all that sh*t."
"That being said I would just say that I understand if your coworkers didn’t take that very well as they may not know the context and from their perspective you could just be a low filter person with no decorum in the workplace."
"I obviously don’t believe so but that would be understandable given the situation."- BootySnorkelerr
"NTA."
"You reach a breaking point eventually, if someone keeps poking, eventually you're going to snap."
"Obviously what you said to her was mean, but to be fair, what else are you going to go at her for?"
"You're not the type to say something mean about another person's eating habits or be rude about who she dates, so you took the one thing that in the heat of the moment would hurt her the way she's been hurting you."
"Sometimes people like that need to be on the receiving end in order to actually understand what they're doing."
"Either she'll back off because she's learned or she'll lean into other people's sympathy and not learn anything."- Shutupharu
Others, however, felt that even if the OP's colleague needed to be put in her place, they felt the way the OP handled things was immature:
"It would be NTA if this was high school."
"It's a work environment, though, so it's an ESH from me."
"You should've probably handled it better."- SnooPeripherals5812
"I have ESH on this one. I think it's especially silly for the coworker to say OP shouldn't date a Korean guy when they're living in Korea."
"Seems like that would be eliminating a pretty large segment of the dating pool, no?"
"However, while I get that coworker was being annoying and inappropriate, publicly shaming her with something she told OP in confidence was a low blow and has to get an AH vote."- CoverCharacter8179
"ESH."
"This is child behavior."
"Grow up and be a professional."
"You are both behaving like 5 year old calling each other doody heads and meany butts and calling each other ugly."
"Get over it and grow up good lord Jesus help us all."- t00tiredtofunction
"ESH."
"She's not a nice person and she has an issue with your relationship, and she picks on you."
"You could have ignored her or maturely confronted her about this, like 'My relationship is not open for discussion, and I'm not interested in your opinions on my food or my looks'."
"Instead, you let her provoke you into getting on her low level and retaliating loudly and publicly with a mean comment about her nose."
"Now you just look like an immature, unprofessional AH to your colleagues."
"Did she deserve it?"
"Sure."
"Does it reflect well on you in a professional environment?"
"Absolutely not."
"Your coworkers are right, if you have a problem with someone, you need to discuss it with them directly and not loudly insult their plastic surgery in the office."- _goneawry_
One has to wonder what the OP's colleague was hoping to accomplish with her constant digs and criticisms directed towards her.
Even so, one does rather wish the OP had decided to go by that wise motto, when they go low, we go high.
Even so, perhaps now, knowing how being attacked at a personal level feels, she might hopefully ease up on the OP.
Even if their relationship likely won't get any better.
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit 
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit