People say some friendships are priceless, but are they all? Do some have a price tag?
And is it wrong to let money end a friendship?
A woman reconsidering her and her husband's friendship with another couple turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Excellent_Pop1782 asked:
"AITAH for ending a friendship over a flight voucher?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (41, female) and my husband (43, male) decided to go on a trip to Mexico with our friends who are also married. Let’s name them Jessica (45, female) and Tom (45, male)."
"We’ve had a pretty good friendship that has consisted of doing regular BBQs or get togethers at the house since we’re neighbours. Our husbands get along great and me and Jessica get along well. We always have a really fun time when we’re together."
"The trip was great, no issues whatsoever! Honestly no complaints. The end of the trip is where the issue began and I really want to know if I’m in the wrong for wanting to distance myself going forward."
"The flight back home ended up being overbooked, the gate agent told us this as soon as we got there, and that there’s a chance either mine and my husband's seat will be offered a voucher or that Tom and Jessica will be offered a voucher of $3,000 per seat."
"My husband and I along with Jessica and Tom had a conversation after about what the plan was, and I suggested that if it’s mine and my husband's flight, that I would switch it around and let the guys fly back home and have me and Jessica stay back so we could both get $3,000 each (pretty much making our money back completely for our trips)."
"We also agreed that if Jessica and Tom were given the voucher, they’d switch it around and us girls would stay back for one night and take the next flight out on the following day."
"The gate agent called me up to tell me that Jessica and Tom got the offer for the flight vouchers, and because we had agreed on switching it around I told the gate agent that me and Jessica would give up our seats and the boys would fly home together."
"I headed back to sit with everybody and told Jessica and Tom about the switch that was made and that’s when they immediately switched to 'why would you do that, we were just joking?' 'I’m not staying” 'I would like to be with my husband' and then decided they’d both take the $3000 each and stay back."
"I was visibly upset, got on the flight with my husband, and haven’t spoke to them since. I personally just think it was quite shady and selfish considering they agreed to it when they thought that it could potentially be me and my husband who got the voucher and I was going to split it with them."
"But as soon as they found out it was their flights they completely went back on what we agreed on."
"AITAH?"
The OP later added:
"When they called for Jessica and Tom on the speaker, they had gone to grab food which is why I went up for them. They never asked for volunteers."
"In other circumstances where this has happened on a flight they have asked on the speaker for volunteers but in this case they did not. They just selected people asking them if they were willing to give up their seat for the money."
"They overbooked by 7 people, but for some reason couldn’t give us all 4 the vouchers because our seats couldn’t be 'justified.' It makes no sense to me either, but they also added on accommodations, shuttle to hotel and back to the airport, and food as well as the voucher. Crazy offer I know."
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP wasn't wrong to sever contact (NTA).
"NTA your friendship was worth $6000 to them." ~ AsburyParkRules
"When I read the title I thought maybe it was ridiculous because I was imagining maybe $500 tops, but that's a significant amount of money and it sounds like everyone should have been on the same page to share before the decision was made." ~ Ok-Establishment478
"NTA. You guys had a clear agreed-upon plan before anyone knew whose flight would actually be affected. The second it became clear the switch benefited them, they backed out and kept the money for themselves. That's not 'we misunderstood,' that's convenient amnesia the moment it stopped working in their favor."
"What stings most is probably less about the $3000 and more about what it says: they were fine with the deal in theory, but the second it cost them something real, the friendship math changed. That's worth sitting with before your next BBQ." ~ PoutineDiamond
"They aren't friends. They agreed to something with you then got a chance to take the 6k in vouchers and didn't think twice about breaking that agreement." ~ Correct-Average-9175
"Exactly. They were happy to take your offer when they thought it might benefit them, but the second it was their voucher, the agreement meant nothing." ~ Expensive-Choice8240
"NTA. They can’t be trusted to keep their word when the ball of fairness is in their court. They didn’t care about the impact of their actions on y’all. You shouldn’t care about the impact of their consequences on them."
"Warning, at some point they’ll probably say something along the lines of, ‘are you really upset over $3000‽‽ It’s ONLY $3000.’ But it’s not about money. It’s about them being liars and gaslighters and opportunists." ~ Rough_Rush7914
"Yes they will say that. But not to OP's face. They'll spread it around mutual friends and acquaintances." ~ UnicornStudRainbow
"They won’t phrase it in terms of the monetary value. They’ll say something like 'are you really upset about a voucher?' Or 'are you really upset because I didn’t want my husband to fly home without me?'." ~ mouse_attack
"NTA. They were totally fine with your generous idea when they thought you were going to hand them $3,000, but as soon as the cash landed in their laps, they claimed it was 'just a joke.' That isn't a misunderstanding; it's pure greed."
"Distance yourself. They would have held OP to that agreement in a heartbeat if the tables were turned. Rules for thee, but $6,000 for me." ~ Spectre_Omega
"Cut these people put of your life - they're just users and they've shown you their true colours."
"Imagine if you and your husband had been offered the flight vouchers first? They fully would have expected to have one of them stay behind to get the $3,000.00."
"They would have been outraged if you and your husband were offered $3K each and decided to both accept the offer and stay, yet they're quite happy to do this to you both." ~ ozflygirl747
"Consider it money you didn't have to spend to find out their true character, better this than giving them a loan or something down the road. They sound like the type to 'buy' a car or tool from you and never pay then say it broke, therefore they didn't owe you the money."
"I'd keep my distance, best not to antagonize neighbors, but any time they ask to get together, I'd just say that you are busy."
"I'd never mention this to any other neighbors just so they look dumb later when they spread around the neighborhood you aren't talking to them over it."
"You can have the satisfaction of looking puzzled and then responding with, 'wow, I mean, I guess they really did screw us over, but we hadn't given it a second thought. If they are that broke, it's not our business to tell other people about it'." ~ Ok_Chemistry6317
"Tom and Jessica probably had a nice chat on the flight back and realized they may have shot themselves in the foot. How often do two couples actually all like each other?"
"You may have lost a few bucks, but you saved yourself the aggravation of what will they do next?" ~ Connect-Advantage-40
"NTA at all. They were greedy. The agreement only became a 'joke' because they were picked. If you or your husband had been picked, then it would have stayed a serious agreement."
"You’re now choosing to distance yourself because they showed where their moral compasses point. There’s nothing wrong with that." ~ bixtakespix
"Yeah, when someone shows you their true colours, believe them the first time. As we say in Australia that's a dog act. They're NO friends of yours. Treat them accordingly." ~ Miakki
"NTA. It seems that your friendship has a monetary value. And now you know what it is. In no world would I do this to someone I considered a friend. I bet they would have been serious if you got the vouchers. ~ Dogmother123
OP might be down one set of friends and $3,000, but maybe it was a small price to pay to learn what their friendship was really worth.
