Those who struggle with their mental health, especially depression, can confirm that joking around, while enjoyable, probably isn't enough to keep the symptoms at bay.
But that won't stop some people from trying, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Playful-Comfort-8050 made it her responsibility to cheer her chronically depressed mother up by making jokes and keeping the atmosphere light and humorous.
When her husband tried to help and used slightly more vulgar humor, the Original Poster (OP) was horrified.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting about my husband farting on my sad mom?"
The OP made it her responsibility to make her mother feel better.
"My mother has been chronically depressed since I was six years old, and I started using humour early on to cheer her up."
"As a result, our relationship is marked by utter silliness."
"I always aim to make her laugh, especially via slapstick comedy, which she loves."
The OP's husband understood and respected their relationship.
"I've been with my husband for about four years. My mom and him aren't very close, mostly because we live a few hours from her and don't get to see her very often. They also don't Facetime or call unless necessary."
"Over time, he's understood our mother-daughter dynamic."
"He always hears me goofing about with her and recognizes her as a kind, warm woman."
"He also knows about her depression."
But the OP did not appreciate her husband's attempt at getting involved.
"However, when we visited her this past weekend, my husband did the unfathomable."
"Things were going fine initially, we were exchanging jokes, and the overall vibe was warm."
"But while returning from the bathroom about an hour in, my husband literally bent over her side of the couch and RIPPED A MONSTROUS FART in her direction, about a foot away from her face."
"He chuckled and walked away like it was a genius move."
"I could NOT believe it. I kid you not, my mom literally had a look of horror like when she heard her Chinchilla had to be put down."
"When he realized his fart bit didn't land, he apologized profusely, but that didn't fix anything because the rest of the visit was excruciatingly awkward and quiet, interspersed with reality TV sounds."
"I knew my mom's depression was biasing her towards thinking the fart was malicious. Unfortunately, I was SO SHOCKED that I couldn't spit out an excuse on his behalf right then. On his end, he was completely checked out."
The OP, still mortified, tried to do damage control.
"When my husband and I got back in the car, I went berserk on him, pressing him on why he thought it was okay to fart on my sad mother."
"He explained that he thought she enjoyed that type of humour."
"I had to explain that THEIR relationship was NOT like our 32-year-old mother-daughter relationship, and that he did not have free license to FART ON MY MOTHER. Additionally, throughout my life, I have done ALL sorts of slapstick comedy, but never THAT."
"I called her after we got home. As expected, she thought he had farted out of hatred, but was okay after I explained everything."
"I am taking distance from my husband for the next couple of days as I wrap my head around this incident. I am still pretty upset."
"He said he's taking some time to reflect and has been sympathetic towards my needing space."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Honestly, some could not help but laugh or feel secondhand embarrassment at the situation.
"OP, I know you're hurting right now, but 'Pressing him on why he thought it was okay to fart on my sad mother' is an amazing sentence." - molly_menace
"'She thought he had farted out of hatred' has me in a chokehold." - WeirdoChickFromMars
"This may be one of the best quotes on the entire internet. No offense to OP, but WOW, unintended Comedy Gold." - ZopyrionRex
"Crazy that he still had a massive fart in the barrel when returning from the toilet. Maybe he was in there trying to make some room for optimum air flow. The possibilities are endless." - FirstTasteOfRadishes
"Farted out of hatred, oh my god, I'm dead."
"Because really, he actually farted out of love and affection! If you pay close attention, you can tell the emotion by the smell. (I'll see myself out.)" - Conscious-Card5611
"I’m saving this to read to my husband the story and comments. We will be laughing tomorrow, that’s for sure. I don’t think I can quit laughing right now." - piggy__wig
But others reassured the OP that everything would be okay.
"I’m sorry, but the whole thing was worded in such a way that it’s just hilarious. But I suffer from depression myself, and I totally understand where your mom is coming from. And I’m so sure that I understand your side also."
"My daughter deals with my depression with humor, too. It’s a defense a lot of people use. She might like comedy, but being farted upon is not comedy. It’s bathroom noise."
"Maybe all three of you guys should sit down and really talk about this, what’s funny, appropriate, etc. You know how men like flatulence. He probably thought he was hilarious."
"Your dynamic between the three of you needs some serious attention and respect, and the only way I know to do that is to communicate. I hope it all works out for the best." - christiesmom
"Poor OP, always having to put on a show. The husband tried to help but made it worse instead. I do think OP is YOR, though. It was a fart, for goodness sake." - XanaxWarriorPrincess
"I'm sorry, I cannot stop laughing. YOR."
"I agree, terribly inappropriate to fart on anyone and worth reaming him in the car after, but, and I hate to say this, it sounds like it came from a place of caring. Laugh this one off, and I'm sure he’ll never do it again." - Blonde-Raccoon
"I hope this becomes something they laugh at for years to come." - PMinTX
"YOR. 'THEIR relationship was NOT like our 32-year-old mother-daughter relationship.' But he tried."
"For that, you went berserk on him. Now you need space and time away from him. Not only are you overreacting, but you’re being dramatic about it. It was a fart. It wasn’t anything racist, sexual, or hateful. It was simply a fart." - Mark7116
"YOR. He misjudged the situation and surely has learned his lesson. Honest, forgivable mistake.
OP could have addressed it when it happened and explained to her mom that he was trying to be funny. That was what I immediately thought, OP should have too!" - GreenEyed_Lady
"You guys are so dramatic! This could be a classic funny family story."
"Taking days away from her husband over a fart. Glad I am not in that marriage..." - Contemplating_Prison
"While for the moment, yes, I get that the OP is upset, but it wasn’t a malicious move, or even remotely mean, so move on, and laugh. It’s a funny bodily function! We don’t have many!" - Adventurous-Bid-9341
What was more important was the OP's mother sorting out her mental health on her own.
"He said he was sorry and feels bad. It’s up to you to either accept his apology or not."
"The bigger issue is that you seem to feel responsible for your mom’s emotions. That isn’t healthy for you or her. I hope she is getting real help and that you get help for your codependency and enabling." - Grimalkinnnn
"I truly can't imagine an environment where this won't be immediately laughed off. OP describes the vibe with her mother at length. Are they lying? Their mom actually thought it was a middle finger? For hours??" - saxguy9345
"The fart thing is weird, but I am way more concerned about how you feel like you need to make your mom laugh. I’m sure this feels like a normal way you care for your mom, but it’s actually really inappropriate for a child to feel responsible for their parent’s mood."
"As a parent, I step in when I think my kids are trying to jolly me out of a bad mood. I want them to know that it’s safe when other people around you have upset feelings, that everyone is upset sometimes, and that I may feel sad now, but I will feel better soon. That empathy or a hug is kind, but they don’t need to fix things." - ExistenceOfCranberry
"It's just a s**tty situation all the way around, but don't punish your husband forever. He admitted he was wrong and feels sorry and even understands you needing space, but OP, your mother is a grown woman. You’ve already done damage control; it’s time to move on and chalk it up to a poor decision." - Independent_Peak8500
"That title alone is hilarious. The fact that you had to 'take space' over something as stupid as this is also hilarious. Or it might be a sign that there are bigger issues in the relationship. I'm guessing a depressed mom making her daughter feel anxious about interactions and codependency could be the answer." - QueenofDarkness5
"He thought it would be funny, and when he realized it wasn’t, he apologized. YOR and so is your mother."
"I think OP doesn't realize how unhealthy the relationship with her mother is."
"A six-year-old child needs to start doing a silly routine to make sure mommy doesn't cry in her dinner? Frankly, unhealthy is the least of the words I could use." - Stormtomcat
This is one of those situations that's mortifying in the moment but in most cases becomes something hilarious to reflect back on in years to come.
Hopefully, the OP and her mom will be able to laugh at this someday, but they might need to work on their relationship, centered around her mom's depression, before they can do that.
