There are certainly numerous advantages to social media.
Reconnecting with old friends, getting a sneak peak into the lives of our favorite celebrities, and not to mention catching upon the news, or learning new recipes or patterns.
On the flip side, however, it can be exhausting to see people you barely know dominate your feed by updating every single minute of their life.
Then too, if you are close with someone who is extremely active on social media, you might find yourself inadvertently becoming a viral sensation, despite the fact you had no desire whatsoever.
Such was the case for Redditor FinallyAnonymous6, who was on the verge of becoming something of a celebrity owing to their mother’s social media presence.
As a result, the original poster (OP) and their sister took matters into their own hands, and found a way for their online presence to shrink considerably.
Much to the dissatisfaction of their mother.
Wondering if they went too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA? My mom is an influencer. I am sick of being a part of it, I had ‘NO PHOTOS” hoodies printed for me and my little sister’.”
The OP explained how after becoming tired of their pictures showing up all over the internet, the OP and their sister found a way to stop being part of their mother’s social media.
“I am a teenager and my mom is kinda famous on Instagram and blogging.”
“She had a mommy blog all when I was growing up and of course me and my sister were always involved.”
“It sucks because there’s so much our there about us and it’s what’s gonna come up when I’m looking for a job, when I’m dating, when anyone looks up my name.”
“I found a website that will print custom jackets, print all over the front and back and arms.”
“And I ordered some hoodies that say a bunch of phrases all over them.”
“‘No photo’, ‘no videos’, ‘i do not consent to be photographed’, ‘no means no’, ‘respect my privacy’, ‘no cameras’, ‘no profiting off my image’.”
“It sounds silly but it looks pretty sick actually.”
“I got one for me and one for my nine year old sister who’s started to not always want photos.”
“And I guess the idea is that my mom can’t take good looking pictures, even candid ones, with us in the hoodies without them having a pretty strong message that we don’t want to be in pictures.”
“My mom was mad when they showed up, and really mad when I’m wearing mine.”
“Like she says she just wants pictures to remember my young years by, she won’t post ones without asking.”
“But I know that’s a whole mess anyway; she always says that and then negotiates me into letting her post, like either by saying that’s how she makes income so if I want money for something, to stop arguing about pictures.”
“Or posting without asking and then saying I thought it would be ok because you’re face wasn’t visible / you’re just in the background, etc.”
“And I’m always like ‘no you didn’t THINK. if you thought at all you’d remember what I said I want’.”
“‘No new pictures of me or mentions of me online’.”
“‘Remove all pictures that include me that you’ve ever posted, and delete any writing that mentions me’.”
I am just so fed up, and upset that my mom is mad at me for wearing my new hoodie everyday.”
“She’s mad I won’t take it off for any event and thinks it’s inappropriate to wear to certain things.”
“I know it’s really weird looking but it feels like my only option.”
“She also says all the mentions of consent and ‘no means no’ and ‘this body is my own’, sorry forgot to mention that one earlier, imply something more inappropriate and that it is really inappropriate to wear those words out in public.’
“We’ve also fought about me wearing it to family events and school events with a generally dressier dress code, because it looks like a ‘gangster hoody’.”
“I don’t know what to say to that, but I don’t agree”
“AITA for always wearing my no photos hoodie?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for creating and wearing those hoodies.
Everyone agreed that the OP and their sister had every right to share their frustrations in being part of their mother’s social media, as they never had the opportunity to say whether or not they consented to it in the first place.
“NTA.”
“It’s been really interesting/kind of heartbreaking watching this sort of privacy violation unfold over the last two decades.”
“People who make a living writing or photographing and posting about their kids, who can’t consent at a very young age, that feels questionable as it is.”
“People who get salty to their kids when the kids point out how much it affects them, how much it can hurt them, and how selfish a process it is, that’s deeply uncool in my opinion.”
“I’ve read pieces by moms about their daughters’ first periods, or their first kiss, or their first breakup.”
“That’s so far across the line.”
“I also think this kind of boundary-crossing happens all the time to kids with disabilities whose parents turn the story into one of their own sainthood or suffering.”
“As a writer, I’ve always thought the only ethical way to do memoir or personal essays is to focus on change or trouble or growth within yourself, not steal stories from people who don’t want you to spill their business to the world.”
“I hope your mom grows to understand your boundaries, and if not to understand them then at least respect them.”
“You have every right to be worried about your future and your privacy.”
“There was a 2016 blowup about this exact mommy-blogger issue, where a mom wrote about her daughter finding out her business was all over the internet.”
“The mom doubled down about how this was her artistic expression and she wasn’t going to take anything down.”
“People were not supportive of that mom’s perspective for the most part, as far as I could tell.”
“Best wishes.”
“Your mom’s violating your privacy.”
“Wear your sweatshirt with a clear conscience until she gets it.”- agentredsquirrel
“NTA.”
“You have every right to feel that way.”
“I think the hoodie is a brilliant idea!”
“This is really interesting actually.”
“Perhaps legislation needs to be introduced to protect children from this kind of thing.”
“We need a national discussion about the privacy rights of kids.”- Raven-Insight
“NTA.”
“She can do that by keeping pics on her phone or in an album.”
“She’s using you and sister as part of her ‘brand’ without your consent.”
“You have every right to ask her to take down all pics of you.”
“I’m in my late 20s so thankfully missed out on having my childhood shared online for the whole world to see.”
“Enjoy wearing your hoody and I’m willing to buy you one in another color if you’d like!”-andwhiskersonkittens
“NTA.”
“FINALLY YALL ARE OLD ENOUGH TO COMPLAIN.”
“We have been worried about kids in your position for years but they were all too young to stand up for themselves.”
“You are a part of a larger reckoning.”
“Contact other kids in your situation.”
“Start a club.”
“Sue the sh*t out of your parents maybe one day.”
“What you went through is not normal and horrifying to normal adults without narcissistic personality disorder.”- 8Ariadnesthread8
“NTA It amazes me how many parents forget that our kids are not our property.”
“I share stores about my children online.”
“However, I do not use my real name, I do not use their real names, and I do not post their photos.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s not my right.”
“Their lives will be forever impacted by what is posted online, and they deserve to chose what is shared.”
“If I want to post about my own toilet habits, or my own tantrum or meltdown, that’s fine.”
“It’s not my right to share theirs though.”
“OP, tell your mom that if she needs money, Walmart is hiring.”
“She can get a real job.”- fabulousautie
“NTA.”
“Maybe turn the tables on her.”
“Contact a journalist that would be willing to write a piece about kids of these ‘influencers’.”
“You can be anonymous.”
“Or create an account that documents your mom documenting you.”
“But blur her face on the pics.”- spam__likely
Everyone deserves a right to privacy.
Even, or rather especially, children.
Hopefully, the OP’s mother will realize that she shouldn’t always depend on her children for her professional life, and will find a way to keep going which doesn’t involve them.
Otherwise, their relationship might become even more problematic than it already is.