Proper parenting is typically something we think of as being a job for adults, but every now and then it’s the children bringing a bit of wisdom to the table.
A 46-year-old Redditor going by the name “daughterpiercings” asked for people’s thoughts after his 13-year old son sharply criticized a parental decision he and his wife made.
The man decided to ask the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) subReddit:
“AITA for kicking out my daughter because she got pierced?”
Before we get into his full story or how Reddit responded, let’s talk about how the AITA subReddit works.
The original poster (OP) tells their story as a post, ending by asking if they were the one in the wrong. Other users share their thoughts in the comments, then cast their votes.
Voting options are:
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Now that you know how things work, let’s get back to the OP’s story.
“Hi all. My daughter (18) has been making reckless decisions and overall hasn’t focused on school and anything important for the past few years.”
“I’ve lashed out at her a few times, but overall tolerated her behavior because she is my daughter and I love her.”
“However, she just never learns. Apparently she got her nipples pierced on her 18th birthday (almost a year ago) without asking my wife or me or without even mentioning something.”
“My wife and I found out this morning when my wife accidentally saw them while our daughter was showering. She needed something from the bathroom.”
“My daughter handed it to her and that is when my wife saw the piercings. We confronted her at lunch and told her that it was a very stupid thing to do.”
“I told her I can accept piercings on the ears and maybe even on the nose because they’re somewhat pretty, but the ones on the nipples are ugly and overall dangerous to get due to infections.”
“She’s been like that for a while and even got tattoos when she was 17 (very small ones, with permission) because she told us if we don’t let her get them now she will just get them once she is 18.”
“I guess that once she turned 18, she’s even more determined to mess with us and keep rebelling or whatever she’s doing.”
“She didn’t say much during the whole argument except tell us that she knows the dangers that come with having these piercings, which I think is bull based on her reaction when I mentioned that.”
“In the end, I told her that since she has no respect for me or my wife, once she graduates (which is this year), she has to leave. My wife agreed with me, however my son (13) says it’s too harsh of a punishment.”
Reddit was very clear with this man.
“She’s had them for a year! So clearly she took care of them and they don’t bother anyone.”
“‘why are you so obsessed with your daughter’s tits’. YTA” – Apprehensive_Jelly42
“I absolutely hate the ‘respect your parents’ BS. Parents mainly use it to control their kids.”
“Yes, kids should have respect but what about a parents respect for their kids feelings/opinions/wants? Where does it end?”
“And OP thinks this is disrespect because he personally doesn’t like nipple piercings?? Ew. YTA 100%” – Nuggy303
“It’s interesting that OP has demonized his ADULT daughter’s choices (‘making reckless decisions’ ‘hasn’t focused on anything important’) and her right to make decisions about her own body- but somehow gives weight to his 13 year old son’s opinion on his parenting?”
“I’m curious what his daughter’s other ‘bad decisions’ are. I’d wager that they aren’t bad or dangerous, just things that OP doesn’t agree with.”
“The double standard for daughters is f*cked up! Reeks of sexism. YTA.” – redalmondnails
“Also, why the hell does he need to find her piercings pretty (the nose piercing comment)? I hate when daughters are objectified like that.”
“Women are not born to sit pretty on a shelf for men to look at and admire. This sort of attitude is so harmful to girls and women.”
“I got my second ear piercings and my cartridge done in grade 9 cause that is the age of consent for piercings. My dad didn’t like it and voiced his opinions but he wouldn’t dare punish me, let alone threaten to kick me out at 18.”
“What a horrible power-tripping dad the OP is. Wildly YTA.” – iknowshtall
“Of course she didn’t ask her parents if she could pierce her nipples, cause she’s an adult and they’re her nipples. YTA” – GlaxenFlux
“Also why were they having the ‘consequences for getting nipples pierced’ discussion in front of her 13 year old brother? Why does he need to know about his sister’s nipple piercings?” – ReasonableFig2111
“YTA for being obsessed with your daughters body and what she does with it.”
“What does you thinking nipple piercing is ugly have to do with her choice to get them pierced? Why is it important to you that you think your daughter’s nipples look attractive to you?” – cleancutpunk
“YTA. She was 18. She doesn’t need to ask her f*cking parents for permission to pierce her nipples when she’s 18.”
“The fact that you even care is creepy as f’k to me. Why are you so obsessed with your teenage daughter’s body?”
“I suppose it’s your house and your decision but this is creepy and weird, and yeah. Kicking someone out over piercings that you shouldn’t even be seeing is an a**hole move.” – cillianellis
“YTA, I find it very alarming how you are so quick to be willing to kick your own child out of your house over something as silly as piercing.”
“For majority of the time, you don’t even see the piercing itself! She’s old enough to make her own decisions, and is the piercing itself, physically harming you in any way? Of course not!”
“I find it appalling, that you’d even consider doing this to your child. I hope you realize that it’s her body and her life, it’s her say at the end of the day, not yours.” – maaryxwin
“You’re far too old to not have realized by now that your job is to love, support and guide your children.”
“It isn’t to subject them to arbitrary and illogical impositions. Nipple piercings are not dangerous, they are not illegal, they are not immoral … WTF is your problem?”
“You sound like a control freak.”
“Do you imagine the woman whose parents kicked her out because she got nipple piercings as an adult will grow to have a healthy relationship with you and your wife as you age, allow that with any potential grandchildren….?”
“You might be ruining your relationship permanently with your daughter over an absolutely nonsensical objection to her personal bodily/sexual autonomy.”
“Shame on you.” – bakedlawyer
A few users asked for more information, which lead to the OP sharing some more details.
They … didn’t exactly make him look good.
“She’s also been very active with issues regarding people of color, LGBT people, women in general, things like that (we are all White, but she claims she is a lesbian). She does nothing to actually provide something useful for these subjects, she only keeps annoying us with how ‘woke’ she is.”
“It just isn’t her business. She’s focusing way too much on things that don’t bother her.”
“We don’t have a shower curtain or a tub. The bathroom is just one whole space.”
“I do believe they’re a form of self expression, however it’s just not for a person like her. She should consult us before making a decision like that even if she is an adult.”
“She’s gone against our wishes before, and obviously doesn’t see us as her parents – rather as someone to give her food and a home.”
Reddit users doubled down on how absolutely wrong he was.
“OP is an a**hole. Not taking school seriously is the only reasonable concern he has.”
“He’s said he ‘lashed out at her’ and is kicking her out for getting nipple piercings. I don’t think he is the great Dad he seems to think he is.” – Paddycow
“It’s really sad that the 13yr old is the voice of reason in this family. OP Y are such TA. Stop just stop.”
“You don’t get to decide what ‘suits’ someone else, no one has to consult you if they want to pierce anything on their body after the age of 18.”
“You don’t get to decide whether or not she’s actually a lesbian and you seriously have to stop sucking so much and being so obsessed with your child’s nipples.”
“Never thought I’d have to write this paragraph ever yet here we are.” – elmummie
“He said that she’s been involved in social justice work on issues affecting a bunch of marginalized groups, including LGBT rights, women’s rights, racial injustice issues, and supporting women of color.”
“Then he said the line about ‘we’re White, but she claims she’s a lesbian’. So what he actually meant was that he thinks because they’re White, it’s weird to give a f*ck about issues affecting people of color.”
“This is also the main example he gives of her ‘reckless behavior’, which is a very very bad way to describe ‘a white woman knowing people of color’.”
“He thinks the only reason that a White person would ever do that is because she’s trying to collect some kind of Woke Gay Points and ‘annoy’ him.” – _bone_witch
After the comments, OP updated the post saying he was not going to respond to any more comments and he would be logging off the account.
He must not know the saying “don’t ask questions you don’t want answered.”