We can't always get what we want.
That being said, our birthdays are a rare occasion when we can at least hint to our nearest and dearest the things we want, in hopes of being gifted them.
Sometimes, sadly, no matter how obvious our hints are, we still might not find what we were hoping for within the wrapping paper.
Often, because our friends and family were thinking more about the things they like, as opposed to what we might want.
Redditor Super_Sheepherder951had a birthday coming up.
While the original poster (OP) made it clear to their partner what they wanted for their birthday, they were more than a little disappointed to find their partner scoffed at this idea.
Wanting to give the OP something more "practical" instead.
Wondering if it was wrong to feel as upset as they did about this, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for preferring a handbag over a practical gift?"
The OP explained why they were more than a little miffed about their partner's planned birthday gift:
"I need a reality check."
"For my birthday, I asked my partner for a handbag that I’ve been looking at for a long time (2 years at least) but haven’t been able to justify buying for myself ($1000)."
"It’s definitely something I want rather than something I need."
"The issue is that he’d rather buy me something more 'practical', like a set of kitchen chef knives ($1500)."
"His reasoning is that they get used every day and are a better investment."
"Truth is I don’t like to cook that much."
"I understand his point of view, but at the same time, kitchen knives feel more like a purchase for the household than a gift for me personally."
"For a birthday, I’d rather receive something that brings me joy than something purely practical."
"Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?"
"The issue isn’t that he’s uncaring or thoughtless, it’s that he naturally values practical things over luxury or non-essential items."
"To him, gifts are often about usefulness, whereas I tend to appreciate things that are more sentimental, personal, or simply bring me joy, even if they’re not strictly necessary."
"Am I the asshole for not appreciating his desire to buy me something practical instead of something I’ve specifically said I want?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for wanting a handbag and not kitchen knives for their birthday.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to be annoyed that their partner wasn't thinking of what they wanted for their birthday, with many pointing out how the handbag they wanted was not only less expensive, but also more practical:
"NTA."
"You don't even like to cook that much, so who is this gift of knives for?"
"A birthday gift is not meant to be an investment for the home, they're meant make the recipient happy."
"Also arguing with someone over what they want for their birthday is flat out weird regardless of what it is."- dryadduinath
"NTA am I missing something?"
"Isn’t a purse considered to be practical?"
"It’s an everyday utility, and you’d probably even use it more than the knives."
"I’m guessing he wants to get you knives because he wants to use them."- auntmilky
"NTA."
"$1500 kitchen knives for someone who doesn't like cooking isn't a birthday gift, it's a household purchase with a bow on it."-Glad_Ad217
"NTA."
"Shared household items are NOT gifts or special occasions celebratory items - unless the person wants them."
"For example, my husband bought me a very expensive humongous Master stock pot because I adore making soups, and he got it as a pun when I graduated from my master's."
"A wonderful gift despite also being a household purchase."
"You don't like cooking that much and have said what you want."
"His perspective on the item is irrelevant."
"His judgment on it being impractical is irrelevant."
"Does he often turn your wants/needs into a discussion where he scrutinizes you and passes judgment?"
"What a killjoy."- Pixatron32
"NTA, it's like that guy that bought a gaming headset for his gf so they can 'play together' when the gf doesn’t even game."
"He just didn’t want to spend all that money on something that doesn’t benefit him or he can use."- NoGarage7989
"NTA."
"House items are not gifts."
"It's like when men get their wife a washing machine for Christmas."
"He can enjoy practical gifts for himself but shouldn't impose that on other people."- luna_balloona
"NTA."
"I bought my partner a nice handbag because she wanted one, while I was doing it, I was like, ' Why am I on the LV website and these things are outrageously expensive, and I don’t understand any of this, but I researched them and bought one anyway because it’s what she wanted."
"It’s totally normal for him to think it’s silly, but he should keep that to himself and just get it."
"People pick the dumbest battles."- Adventurous_Tea_7746
"NTA."
"If he gets you the knives, they are a gift and therefore yours to do what you will with them."
"So you should return them, buy your bag, and then use the remaining money to buy one or two very nice kitchen knives."
"That way, everybody will be happy."
"Note."
"Most people don't really use all the knives in a knife set."
"Getting a really nice chef knife and another knife that is most commonly used in your kitchen is actually a much better solution."
"I have knives that cost more than a car so I should know."- KPinCVG
"NTA."
"I’m wondering if your husband would like a really nice vacuum for his birthday?"- Big_Palpitation_3599
"NTA your birthday, your choice."
"Clearly the price isn't an issue."- Chamari75
"NTA."
"Seems he wants a gift you both can use."- Rainbow-Reptile
"I once gave my Mum some silicone spatulas as a Christmas gift."
"These were excellent presents, because she does loads of baking, enjoys it greatly, and her previous ones were falling apart."
"The rest of us do use them, but not half as much as Mum does."
"This is not that situation."
"A gift that brings you no pleasure is a bad gift."
"NTA."- iamthefirebird
"NTA."
"Sounds like your bf feels he knows what's best for you."
"I'd be more concerned about a controlling AH."
"Ask for a gift receipt if he gets you those knives you'll never use."- 23stop
"Have you expressed this to your boyfriend?"
"Because if you have, and he defends his decision to get the household something for your birthday, you’re definitely NTA."
"It’s okay to want an impractical gift rather than a practical one."
"It’s your birthday!"- Fun_Commercial7532
"NTA."
"Household items are not a gift, and a handbag is practical because you use it every day to hold your stuff."
"Your gift should be something you want, especially not knives if you don't even like to cook."- Lynford77
"As a practical gift government NTA."
"You’re allowed to want what you want and from your understanding of designer handbags 1K isn’t crazy at all."- SnooGuavas1985
"NTA."
"If you loved cooking and actually wanted $1500 chef knives - that's one thing - but you don't! Is he buying them for himself to use?"- BlondDee1970
"NTA."
"If y’all want to by a nice set of knives for the house buy them."
"It’s a household item."
"Or if you both want to forgo gifts on Christmas and by a household item instead by all means do so."
"But a handy useful purchase isn’t a gift unless that’s what the person really wants."- Butterbean-queen
"NTA."
"Your bd gift should be something that YOU really want, not something that somebody wants to buy you."
"There's a huge difference!"- chart196
"NTA."
"A gift for the household doesn't count."- KetoLurkerHereAgain
"NTA."
"You're right, unless you're really into cooking or asked for them, knives are a household item."
"It's not a gift, especially if you don't want it."
"He's selfish because he wants the knives but is trying to make you feel guilty over not wanting them as a present."- 2hounddogs
"NTA."
"Your bf is making a rookie mistake."
"Gifts for partners should be something they want."
"If he has 1500 for knives, he can afford an expensive bag."
"Fabulous knives can be had for under 500."
"His suggestion sounds like something for himself."- urbisOrbis
"This man doesn’t understand the point of a gift."
"NTA."- yourmomishigh
A set of kitchen knives would be a practical gift for someone who loves to cook.
Which the OP does not.
Indeed, if the OP's partner wants to get her expensive knives that they'll never use over a handbag they will proudly use and take everywhere they go, it seems the OP's partner doesn't think as practically as he thinks...
Woman Claps Back At Overweight Roommate After She Calls Her A 'Skinny B*tch' First